A Broken Rose

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

RPOV

“Yeah Baba we had a good time in there.”  I wasn’t going to let him see that I was embarrassed that he caught us.  I was an adult for heaven’s sake.  I could kiss my boyfriend if I wanted to.  It’s not like we have done much more than kiss.  I wasn’t ready and Adrian would never push me into it.  Abe was just staring at me.  I couldn’t read the expression on his face.  He has as good of a guardian mask as any guardian I have ever met. 

“Well it seems like you two have decided to stop acting like animals so I guess we can talk about a plan now.  What do you have planned for your time here? 

“Well I was actually thinking about that earlier.  I need to find a way to harness Lissa’s darkness safely.  I am terrified that it will eventually make me go insane like it did Anna, St. Vladimir’s bond mate.  There has to be a way, I just know it.  I also need to find a way for Adrian to release his darkness.  If we cannot figure this out we will be a couple of crazy people in the future.”  This was worrying me more than I let on.  Even if I didn’t find a way to help myself I had to find a way to help Adrian. 

“Spirit is a hard thing to wrap my head around.  I can’t stand that it could eventually make you crazy but if it weren’t for spirit I would have lost you years ago.  When you take Lissa’s darkness what does it feel like?  What does it make you want to do?” Abe looked like he was trying to figure this out.  At least he was taking me seriously.

“Well when it gets really bad for me I just want to beat the crap out of someone.  The first time it really took over me I was ready to kill a royal Moroi.  I would have too if I wasn’t dragged away kicking and screaming, and eventually I calmed down.  It’s never been as bad as it was that first time.  I didn’t know about spirit’s darkness then and since then I have learned to pull it from Lissa a little at a time.  It makes me do things I would never normally do.”  I shudder as I remember the exact feeling I had when I wanted to kill Jesse.  At that time it didn’t matter that he was a royal Moroi all I wanted was for him to die by my hands. 

“Well if all you want to do is fight someone when you have this darkness I might have a suggestion to try to help Adrian.” 

Now he really had my attention.  Adrian walked into the room at that time and looked confused as to why we were talking about him.  “Baba might have thought of a way to help you with the darkness created by Spirit since you do not have a bond mate to take it away from you.”  I explained to him. 

“Well you have my attention.  I am not really looking forward to my slow decent into insanity.  I’ll do what I can to insure that doesn’t happen.  That is why I would always drink and smoke when I first meet Rose.  Although I have tried my hardest to stop doing those things because she hates them so much I have been worried about the effects of Spirit messing with me.”  I knew Adrian did those things because of spirit but I didn’t know that he was so worried about it.  He always acted so carefree and never seemed to worry about anything.  I suddenly felt guilty about giving him a hard time for doing those things.  He walked over and kissed me on the forehead silently reassuring me that it was alright, that he would do anything for me. 

“Adrian what would you think about training with Rose?  It seems like when she takes Lissa’s darkness it makes her want to hit things.  I think that if you start training with her and learn to fight you could release some of that darkness.  At least it’s worth a try.”  Abe had a really good idea and I wasn’t sure why I hadn’t thought of that before.  I think that could work.

“I will take any opportunity to wrestle around with Rose I can take” he smirked at me.  That’s my Adrian never taking anything seriously.  I just stared at him with my best evil stare.  “I hope you are ready for me to kick your ass over and over again.  Don’t expect me to go easy on you.  It’s not in my nature to hold back.”  Yeah this was going to be fun.  Abe had a great gym here.  My guess it that he had it built so his guardians could stay on top of their training. 

“Okay now that we have that settled I think it’s time that we let your mother know where you are.”  I stopped in my tracks and lost all thoughts in my head.  I did not want to deal with my mother.  I knew I would get a lecture about running from my responsibilities.  I did not want to hear how disappointing I was again.  “Do we have to?  I was hoping I could avoid seeing her for a while.” 

“Yes you have to.  She has a right to know where you are and why you are here.  I won’t let you worry her like that.” 

“Worry her?  She won’t even know I left.  It’s not like she keeps in contact with me or anything.  She used to go years without ever visiting.  I don’t need to hear about what a huge disappointment I am and that I’ll never amount to anything.  I just don’t need that right now.”  Abe didn’t understand the relationship I had with my mother.  I know that they have spent some time together since I found out he was my dad and that she made an effort and showed up for my trials but I didn’t want Abe to think that was our normal relationship.

“I know exactly what your relationship is Kizim and believe me it was hard on her to not be there but she thought it was for the best.  She was only trying to do what was best for you.  She always knew what you were doing and how you were doing and both times you ran away from the Academy she was a wreck.  She was terrified that something would happen to you.  Your mother has never been one to cry but when you left the second time after the attack on the campus she came here and cried for days.  She just knew that she had lost you and that thought alone made the hard ass Guardian Hathaway crumble.  You need to give her a little more credit.  I know it wasn’t easy for you to grow up thinking that she didn’t care about you but she did and she loves you with a fierceness that most people don’t even know exist.”   

I was speechless.  There wasn’t a reason that Abe would lie to me but I had a hard time believing what he said.  “Well feel free to tell her I am here but I am not talking to her right now.  I want to give her time to cool down before I talk to her.  I don’t want to go deaf from all the screaming she is going to be doing.” 

“You underestimate you mother.  But if the little bitty girl is afraid of her big bad mother then I will call her for you; however, don’t think that I can interfere for you forever.” Abe smirked at the scowl on my face and left the room.  How dare he think I am afraid I just didn’t want to deal with it right now, at least that is what I was telling myself. 

Adrian walked up behind me and put his arms around me.   “So…um…how long was your dad here?”  I thought it was cute that Adrian’s voice was a little shaky.  Was he really that afraid of Abe?  “Oh he was apparently here for a while and witnessed far more that we intended him to witness.  I would sleep with one eye open tonight.” I kissed him left the room.  Before I walked out I snuck a look at him and he hadn’t moved yet.  Oh man Abe was going to have so much fun with him.