Regret or Forget {Book 2}

(11) A Bullet & Pain

OMG I HAVEN'T UPDATED THIS IN LITERALLY 10 MONTHS...Jesus Christ so much has happened and changed. I have no time for myself and I am so frustrated and angry about that. But I'm not going to rant...INSTEAD I PRESENT YOU A NEW CHAPTER...Yeah sorry, it feels more like a filler but it's something...right?? Yeah I suck..I know. But more coming soon! I hope you like some of it. Comment your thoughts! I love replying and reading them :)

-Destiny

(11) A Bullet & Pain

Dexter's phone rung for his attention but his eyes couldn't move from the sit before him. The blood was pouring all over the side walk and the figure lay unmoving. His stomach twisted and his eyes blurred. The smell was the worse part and he bent over, everything from the club came coming out. He stumbled back and caught the wall to keep his balance. The air was thick with the smell of blood and rot.

His phone continued to ring in his back pocket and he finally acknowledged it. It took him five tries to get it out of his pocket, his hands shaking beyond his control. Vaguely he could feel the silent tears falling on his face. Dexter couldn't remember what to do. Shouldn't he be calling someone? Shouldn't he be identifying who he knew was on the ground in front of him?

Instead he stared at the text messages Kylie had sent him.

Have you found Evan?

Morgan is missing!! 48 hours?? Lies!!

Dexter, where are you?

R u okay???

He knew he wouldn't be able to text her back. But he did it anyways, taking twenty tries to punch in the letters right.

Evan got shot

Three words. He tried again, a sob breaking through his mouth.

Abandoned building...Alley

He could only hope that she understood what he was saying. His knees gave out from underneath him and he hit the ground with an echoing thud. His best friend wasn't moving. He lay face down, blood pouring from everywhere. He couldn't tell where the wound was. Dexter refused to look for it. He curled within himself, remembering everything the two of them had did together. The band, how they first met, and how Evan had saved him from his own dark past.

Ryan.

Ryan deserved to know. But Dexter couldn't move his hands. A chill had washed over him and realized he was yelling. He shot his mouth and cried. He hadn't cried since his father had died. Now the tears were thick and they wouldn't stop. Evan wasn't dead. He knew logically that he should check his pulse and the body but he couldn't bear the truth.

He had failed his best friend.

*

Evan got shot. Evan got shot. Evan got shot.

I rushed down the sidewalk, the words running through my head nonstop. It choked my insides and caused my heart to stop. An abandoned building with an alley. I knew exactly which alley he was talking about. The alley that was forever burned into my memory. Jeremy flashed before my eyes and my mouth filled with a filthy taste. The boy I had killed. I tripped on the sidewalk and barely caught myself from falling. My hands scraped against the ground and my hands burned harshly.

Tears fell from my eyes. I couldn't take it anymore. My heart felt like it was only being crushed into tiny piece, the pieces were getting cut up so small they might as well don't exist anymore. All my happiness was being taken away from me. I could fill myself ground into the depths of depression. Nothing but negative thoughts coursed through my mind. The gun that shot Jeremy flashed through my mind but this time it was Evan I was shooting. My hands clawed at my head, trying to make the images go away. I broke down in heavy sobs, barely able to catch my breath. I was weak. I was hurting too badly.

But I had to get up. I had to get to him before it was too late. I dragged myself to my feet and started to run again. I stumbled into somebody and pushed forward, not glancing to see who it was or to stop and apologize. People were dying. The letter had lied. Morgan was dead. Evan was shot and dying. My head was spinning and I kept running.

I didn't know how long I was running before I finally reached the alley. My chest was hurting and my breathing was coming to quick. I stumbled forward into the depths of the alley. Dexter was on the ground curled up, his body shaking. Someone lay in front of him. The familiar black hair and broad shoulders. He still had on the black hoodie I had seen him in before. I fell to the ground, my breathing too fast and my lungs burning for more air than my short gasps can provide.

My body was shaking and my cheeks were wet with tears. I could hear my self speaking.

"No, no, no, no, no," My voice was hoarse as I crawled forward, my head light and my body numb. His injury was coming from his leg. He couldn't be dead. Why wasn't he moving? He was face down and his hands didn't twitch once when my hands landed on his back. I leaned forward until my head touched his back and cried. It was an ugly sob feast. My throat made nasty animal noises my snot was coming out my nose. Flashes between Jeremy's death and the gun continued to haunt my mind.

I was a killer.

My memory was murdering me. My chest ached too badly for me to be imagining it and my head pounded with all the crying I was doing. I was dying. My inside was numbing and tears dried on my face. My hands landed in the pool of blood around me and they shook without my control. I was losing it. I was losing every fiber of my being and sinking. Just let before when I tried to climb the latter to escape the water flooding in the sewer, to escape Carl. My hand grasped the last handle on the latter before the pain became too imaginable and I slipped and I fell.

The water had choked me and took me under. Before long I had lose consciousness and no longer knew anything or felt anything. I was gone.

I felt like that now. Like I was buried underneath the water and reality was no long reality. I was trapped in my nightmares. Shooting Jeremy, being the cause of Evan's sufferings, being a failure to my mother, never being good enough for my father, causing misery everywhere I go, and being raped by Carl.

Over and over and over again.

My head shrieked with pain and I screamed, the pain coming everywhere inside and out. Someone was wrapping their arms around me and vaguely I could feel it. I was shaking my head, my hands gripping my head tighter. It hurt so badly but I could still see the images. I didn't know how to make it stop. My breathing was too quick and my lungs were collapsing. I fell against Dexter's chest and whimpered. Before long I was entrapped in darkness.