Its been 3 days since I cut and I've found myself wanting to do it again.I tell myself not to that things will get better and that the scars will only remind me of the pain. But Every Time I look at the one on my wrist im just curious and think that for one moment I found an escape to the pain. It's not like anyone would give a shit I mean I put a little effort into hiding the scar but if people wanted to they could see it and so far no ones said anything or asked any questions. Maybe it wouldn't be bad if I did it again.
It was the end of the day at school and I was walking down the hall when Carly saw me and pushed me to the ground.all my books fell out of my hands. "Oops my bad bitch". She hissed and walked away. Dammit why does everyone hate me here? I though to myself. As I was picking up my books a hand reached down and picked up one of my books. I looked up to a boy with messy brown hair and tan skin with a small mole right above his lip. "Here" he said and handed me my book "t-Thanks" I mumbled. He gave me a small smile and walked away. Who the hell was that,and when did he get here? I wondered to myself.
After school I couldn't stop thinking about who that mysterious boy was and why he helped me. Didn't he know who I was the loser of the school? The one nobody like and everybody made fun of? I shook my head. He doesn't care. He was just being nice because nobody was around. I thought to myself and sighed. I went on my laptop and went on Tumblr for a little while. I didn't want to see what tomorrow had to bring i never do but I had to admit that boy had peaked my interest
The next day at school I was in English and I was looking out the window when movement in the back of the class caught my eye. I looked and it was that boy! What the hell is he doing here he's not in this class? He caught me looking and gave me a cheeky smile and waved enthusiastically. I shyly waved back turning away so he wouldn't see me blushing. After class he walked up to me and started walking with me down the Hall. He pulled a cigarette out of his Jean pocket and lit it with a lighter.
"Um what are you doing"? I asked.
"Oh your right where on earth are my manners would you like a puff"? He asked.
"No thanks I don't want to get in trouble". I said feeling like a loser.
"Trouble"? He asked curiously.
"You know it's against that rules to smoke here right"? I asked.
"But rules are meant to be broken"! He said mischievously.
"Hey what's your name anyway"? I asked trying to change the subject
"I will tell you But! Only if you take a puff from my cigarette"! He said smiling widely
"Why do you want me to smoke so bad"? I said irritated.
"Because you seem like you don't take a lot of risks or break rules and thats what life's all about! Breaking rules being free experiencing new things"!
He said his voice now a should adventure in his eyes.
"And how would you know anything about me"!? I said angrily
"See I knew you would ask that and answer is simple I've been watching you". He said nonchalantly.
"Excuse me"? I said surprised
"Yes I've been here about a week or two now and I've been watching you since day 2". He said.
"Why"? I said slightly creeped out.
"because i first noticed you when some group of girls was bullying you, I wanted to see if you would stick up for yourself and you never did. After that I was curious to what your story was so I've been watching you".
"So you've been stalking me"? I said shocked
"More like keeping an eye on you". He said smiling
I was at a Loss for words.
"You don't take any risks,you never raise your hand in class you always stick to the side of the hallway and keep your eyes on the floor.You let people take advantage of you and you can't keep living life like that it's just wrong, it's not how life is meant to be lived". He said blowing a cloud of smoke into the air.
"Since when do you have any right to tell me how to live my life"! I said angrily
"I don't. Go right ahead and keep living life like you are now but you don't seem happy you have this sadness in your eyes I can see it like your waiting for something that's never gonna happen". He said. I nothing but stared at the floor feeling my heart break.he knew me better than I knew myself and he's only known me for what 2 weeks? After minutes of silence he was his cheery self again and said
"Hey where do you live"?
"Why"?
"Because you need to experience more go on more adventure and I will be your willing mentor". He said.
"I'm not gonna tell you that I barley know you"!?
"So how do you think friendships start? everyone starts off as strangers at first".he said.
"I'm not telling you where I live". I said
"Fine I'll find out on my own'. He said puffing how lower lip our and stomping away. As soon as he was gone I broke out in a huge smile.
For once I wasn't hated.
