When I got home I ran up to my room and shut the door and locked it. I sat on the floor unsure of what to feel. no one not anyone in my entire life had ever treated me with such kindness and care. my mom was all I had since I was 8 my grandparent had both died when I was young and everyone had made fun of me since I had no father growing up. I sat on the floor staring at my feet and rubbing my hands together anxiously. what's is he doing? I thought.I wondered if this was some cruel game. if someone dared the new boy to act all nice to the loser of the school for laughs. But the smile on his face seemed so real,so genuinely caring. I laughed to myself. wow look at you gawking over some boy and you don't even know his name. I though to myself. Pathetic.
The next day at school I saw him walking down the hall. my stomach had this weird feeling. the same feeling I used to get when I would see one of my bullies walking toward me. but this one was a nice kinda feeling. I was just about to wave to him when I saw Amber come running up to him in one of her slutty outfits. "Danny! How are you?still cute I see". She said smiling and twirling her hair in her finger. "I'm good and thanks.maybe I'll see you around soon". He said looking at her and smiling "I sure hope so". She said winking and walking away. I felt my heart shatter.
I quickly turned the other way before he could see me. and ran into the girls bathroom and locked myself in a stall. I sat there for s minute and then the tears started flowing. I sat there and tried to stop crying. I kept wiping my tears away and breathing slowly but nothing worked. I knew it was stupid to cry. he was a boy I only met once I didn't even know his nam. but he was the only Boy that had ever been nice to me that hasn't laughed in my face or called me a whore or some other hurtful name. But he was flirting with Amber the girl that bullied me since 9th grade. And he knew what she did to me he saw them bullying me. but he doesn't care.
Oh god this is a prank isn't ,it I knew It. I thought.and more tears came. I finally pulled myself together and walked out of the bathroom. and I stopped in my tracks. there was someone else in the bathroom. I looked closely and it was Amber. Shit. She stopped from applying lipstick and turned around and saw me. "Oh look who it is! I knew something smelled like shit in here I just though it was the toilets but here you are so". She said smiling to herself. I ignored her and tried walking out. "oh honey were you crying look how red your eyes are". She said snickering. "leave me alone". I said my voice cracking. " I really don't hope you were crying about Danny out there,I saw you staring at us you know you looked heartbroken". She said a smile spreading across her face. "I mean how could a boy actually like a worthless piece of crap like you"? She said curiously. she grabbed my arm and yanked me next to her so I was looking in the mirror. "see look at you a ugly fat worthless piece of crap no one will Ever like you". Tears silently poured down my face "now if you'll excuse me i wanna try to get the feel of your disgusting skin off my hand". She said and walked out.
I stood there feeling worthless and I couldn't stop the tears from spilling. so I did what had to do. I ran. I checked every classroom, every janitors closet until I found what I was looking for. a hand held pencil sharpener.finally the pain can stop.i thought. quickly i unscrewed the screw in the middle of the device with my nail and slipped the blade out of the sharpener and threw the whole device behind me,holding the blade close to my heart. I ran the the nearest bathroom my eyes still raw from all the tears. I found a stall and locked the stall door and sat down. tears spilled from my eyes. I didn't want to do this I promise I didn't want to. But the Pain won't Stop and I don't know what else to do. I slid the blade across my wrist. multiple times. I had made four cuts on each wrist. waiting a few minutes this time feeling the rush of pain and adrenaline before stoping the bleeding. there a lot more blood this time and it was harder to clean up. I had gotten some all over my shirt without even noticing. I started the panic. Shit shit shit someone's gonna see the blood and know what I did. I crept out of the stall and got papaer towels. I soaked them in water and dabbed at the blood stains. nothing. I shut my eyes and calmed myself down.
I walked over wrapped my wrist in paper towels and carefully ran to the girls locker room. I slipped in quietly,I hear the girls in the gym and the squeak of sneakers on the polished floor. I don't waste time. I open every locker until I find a sweatshirt that fits me. thank god. I walked out of the girls locker room and grabbed my books from the bathroom.
I figured I wouldn't take the risk of spending the rest of the day here. I packed my bag and was gone by the time the 7th period bell rang.
