the king awakens » bellamy blake

06 | Blood On My Hands

"But innocence is gone; and what was right is wrong."

CHAPTER SIX

   "The fog's cleared, Octavia. I'm going to go look for Be—" I stop myself, "for Clarke and the others." I say, slinging my backpack over my shoulder. "I'll be fine. I just need to know they're okay."

Octavia sighs. "Fine. But if you see my brother, tell him I'll kill him if he gets himself into trouble." I smile and start toward the trees. About half a mile in, I hear distant screams, making me pause. Trying my hardest to focus on the task ahead of me, I jog towards the screams and hope that I'm not in Grounder territory. I make it to where it sounds only a few feet away, slowing down.

I shuffle to a stop in front of Atom, my eyes wide as I notice his skin—red with blisters, and his eyes looked completely white.

The first thing that came to mind was Octavia. Sadness washed over me and I glance up at the two figures that also stood staring—Bellamy and a blonde little girl.

"Atom?" Bellamy breathes, rushing forward and kneeling next to him. He puts his head next to Atom's blood stained mouth and I watch them form words I cannot hear. As Atom gasps for air, a few other boys come up behind the little girl. She comes to stand next to Bellamy, who had stood up. Looking down at Atom, she places her knife carefully into Bellamy's hand.

"Don't be afraid." she says softly, making him look at her with his wide brown eyes.

"Go back to camp," Bellamy tells the others, who start to leave grudgingly.

"Charlotte," he says to the girl, "You too." She backs away and reluctantly follows. I make my way toward him, bending down next to Atom. It had to have been the fog. Bellamy kneels too, and I hear Atom mumble, "Kill me."

It was hard to believe the boy was still human. Blood covered his neck and nose, something like sweat matted his hair. Bellamy drew in a few ragged breaths, looking down at the sofly sobbing boy.

"Bellamy," I say gently, my voice cracking. He slowly makes eye contact with me for the first time. I give him a sad smile and shake my head. Atom was gone. I felt tears prick the back of my eyes but blink them away.

Tossing my backpack to the side, I reach out my hand and slowly remove the knife from Bellamy's grip, grasping it in my own. I know this would be too hard for him, but I didn't want to point that out. This had to be done, and if not at Bellamy's hands, then mine.

"Atom," I whisper, "Everything will be okay. Shhh, it's okay."

I think of an old song in my head and whisper it to him. I sing softly, cutting into Atom's neck with my knife. I draw out the knife and hum the rest of the song as he closes his eyes, letting out his last breath as I smooth his hair back.

I clean off the knife silently, wanting to cry, athough I willed myself not to. I push down the sob that was trying to force its way out, and avoid Bellamy's eyes.

I take out a large tent-like material from my pack and lay it out, my hands shaking. I'd killed Atom.

Bellamy must notice my hands because he grabs my wrist, making me look up at him. My eyes fill with tears that I won't allow to fall, just like his. "Thank you," he croaks. I nod but say nothing in return, knowing if I did my voice would crack again and I'd break.

He lets go of my wrist, our fingertips brushing as we both move towards Atom's body. I take hold of his legs, while Bellamy lifts his upper body. We move him and lower him gently onto the cloth. I stare at Atom's lifeless form, trying to tear my eyes away but it seems to be impossible.