The Countdown To The Final Goodbye

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Shawn didn't sleep.

Instead he spent the night memorising the constellations Camila has shown him and then memorising every part of her face.

The beautiful lines of her eyebrows and the long length of her lashes, the perfect shape of her nose and the full pout of her mouth... the mouth that hours earlier had been on his own

If he had been braver or more experienced Shawn might of woken her up and asked to kiss her again, once just wasn't enough, especially now he knew how amazing it felt, how soft and warm and all consuming it was

It had been a long time since he had kissed a girl. Lori Klein was the the last one, his high school sweetheart and the girl he lost his virginity to aged 16, they had been together for almost a year when the accident happened and then she, like everyone else stopped calling and stopped coming round because what do you say to someone who had just lost their entire family? The questions are too loaded. The answers too heavy so you just don't ask anything and that's easier if you just stay away.

Camila wouldn't have stayed away, he knew that without question. She'd have stayed and made him speak, she would have made him meditate to the sound of pipes and then cry it out against her chest, he didn't know how he knew her so well after just 2 days but it was as though they'd known each other in another life time and had finally been reunited in this one

He lay like that, lost to his thoughts until the sun came up and with the light opened Camilas eyes

"Who needs an alarm clock?" She asked, her unused voice rough

"It's beautiful waking up this way"

"It's my favourite thing in the world" She admitted whilst sitting up and rubbing her eyes

"Are you ready to go?" Shawn asked, hoping against hope that she might have changed her mind

"Yeah, I'm so excited to get moving again, I think I'm going to head North a bit and see if I can find some snow I want to try and build an igloo" her eyes sparkled with excitement and Shawn let his mind travel to what a trip to the snow would be like with Camila, snow ball fights, igloo building, hot chocolate in the back of her van and if he was very lucky perhaps some more of those lips on his

"Do you want me to go and gather some water for coffee?"

"No, do you know what I really want you to do?"

"What?"

Her lips were on his as a reply, pressing softly and then more firmly as he lifted a shaky hand to the back of her head not at all minding that neither of them had brushed their teeth this morning, just loving the way her lips felt and tasted against his own

"I would have regretted it when I left if I hadn't done that again and I'm not the type of girl that has regrets"

"It was nice, you're nice. I like you being around" he shocked himself with his admission, he wasn't usually one to let his feelings show but with Camila it was as though they just pout red out of him

"Come on, let's get water then you can show me how much of a man you are by catching me a fish as a going away present"

Again Shawns stomach clenched at the thought that this was it, this was the count down to the final goodbye.

"Come on slow coach" Camila once again threaded her fingers through his as they walked hand in hand down to the river for what would be the final time

**********************

"Is that everything?" 

"Yup, that's it all"

Shawn slammed the back door of the van shut and then stood with his hand on the metal that was hot with the rays of the sun. She was really leaving, there wasn't going to be any last minute decision to stay, why would there be? There was nothing in this town to stay for

"Make sure you drive safely, the roads will be icy up North"

"Yes dad" she laughed as she slipped her arms around his waist and stood on her tiptoes looking for another kiss and Shawn was only too happy to oblige. He lifted his hand to her cheek and this time let his body lead the way, his mouth moving slowly at first and then harder as his tongue pressed against hers and then moved over it into the softness of her mouth. He let his hands slide down her body until they gripped her waist and they stood like that just tasting and enjoying each other until the need to breathe became too great

"I have to go" Camila said with a pout and Shawn immediately dipped his head and kissed her sulky lips

"I would say text me but since neither of us have phones..."

"I guess this is it"

"This is definitely it"

"Is it weird that I'm going to miss you?"

Shawn shook his head unable to admit he would miss her too but he hoped she would see it in his eyes

"Bye Shawn, I'm really glad I met you"

"Yeah you too" there was so much more he wanted to say, to confess to but he was frozen, he was too afraid that if he spoke all the emotion he had held in for the last two years would come rushing out and he'd scare her off but then he realised she was leaving anyways and that caused to emotion to turn watery in his eyes

"Drive safe" it was his way of saying 'I like you, I don't want you to go, please stay, please don't leave me, I'm going to miss you more than I think I can bare', but he just left it at that as she reached up and took his lips with hers once more

"I'll miss you too" she whispered against his throat as he wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her ear to his chest listening to his heart pound

Eventually they separated and Camila moved to the drivers seat of her van they didn't say another word as they watched each other silently, Camila pulling the car out of the clearing as Shawn mounted his cycle. At the end of the clearing Camila turned turned the van and drove right as Shawn rode behind her and then drove left towards the hell that was his life 

* okay what do you think??? End it here as a cute mini book or carry it on as a discovery of themselves, each other and the truth about true love???

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