Blasphemy - Minchan

9// You can count on me to get on my knees for you.

"I don't know what just happened," Chan admitted, sitting on the edge of his bed. He wiped a tear from under his eye and sniffled. "I couldn't- I couldn't breathe."

"I think you had a panic attack," Minho said, sitting on the tiled floor in front of him with crossed legs, "it's ok. Lots of people have them. Have you never had one before?"

"I had one once, but I was alone," and locked in a cellar. "Do you think I'll get in trouble?"

"If you get in trouble for that I'm going to burn this entire fucking church down."

Chan didn't say anything else. He stared down at his hands which were clamped together in between his knees. When Minho placed a hand on his thigh, he continued to stare down, rocking back and forth a little, something he didn't even realise he was doing it. "I'm sorry," Minho said.

That's when Chan looked up, "what for?"

"I shouldn't have said that stuff to you, especially not when you were already so nervous. I feel like I pushed you over the edge."

"It's not your fault," Chan shook his head, separating his hands so he could slip one into Minho's. He pulled him onto the bed beside him and said, "You saved me more than anything. At least I won't get told off for stuttering or staring at the ground now."

"You shouldn't get told off for that stuff anyway. You especially shouldn't be hurt for it."

Chan's stared at Minho, his hand frozen as he realised, "you're the one who heard and ran off last week?"

Minho sighed and nodded, "I'm sorry. I wanted to help you but by the time I had the chance to do anything, you were being dismissed. I panicked and ran away... I'm sorry."

"It's ok," Chan told him, hand relaxed as he brushed his thumb over the back of Minho's, "I'm used to it. I don't need helping. I was just scared you'd think I was pathetic or something."

"What? No, definitely not. Nothing about how they treat you here makes you pathetic, but you shouldn't be used to it. How often does it happen?"

"I think it's once a week, or once a fortnight if I'm lucky. Sometimes it's multiple times a day if I've done something serious."

Minho's heart ached. He couldn't imagine Chan had ever done something 'serious,' especially not something worthy of being hit for. He tried to wrack his brain for the right thing to say, but he ended up with nothing. In the end, he settled for giving his hand a squeeze.

"I'm so tired," Chan admitted, words a little muffled as he rubbed one of his eyes.

"Oh, yeah. You should get some sleep. You must be drained after all that," Minho realised as he stood up. He tried to drop Chan's hand but Chan kept a firm grip on it.

"Can you stay with me?" Chan asked so quietly his voice was practically a whisper. He couldn't even meet Minho's eyes, fixing them on the tiled floor below his feet instead. "I just want to be held..." he trailed off when Minho didn't respond.

Without words, Minho moved back to the bed. Chan kept his eyes on the floor until Minho placed a hand under his chin and tilted it up. When Minho kissed his forehead, Chan wasn't sure how to react. It was so comforting even if it did cause a million fireworks to explode inside of him.

"Of course, angel," Minho told him, pulling away the thin sheets on the bed for Chan to lay down, but not before helping him take off his robe and store it under the bed. By the time Minho stored his own away, Chan was lying down, head on the pillow but his gaze on Minho. Minho smiled as he slid under the sheets and Chan moved up to the wall, trying to create more room so they could both fit on the small bunk. When Minho wrapped his arms around Chan's middle and pulled him onto his chest, warmth filled Chan. "I'll hold you for as long as you need me to."