Light of the Heavens

XXXVI. Dreams of Better and Worse

Vassa opened her eyes. The garden air around her was peaceful, even more so than the memories she had shown Seben. A faint breeze rustled her loose hair and birds trilled in the branches above, but everything felt perfectly in its place. The fragrance of her roses perfumed the air of the lazy afternoon. Shade from the oak branches overhead dappled across her masked face, but her hood was nowhere to be seen. She settled into her body slowly, like she was waking up from a dream.

It would have been easy to relax, if she couldn't feel the gentle caress of magic against her heart. Vassa knew that she was not awake. She doubted it was a spell, but a dream inspired by her pact with Seben was well within the realm of probability. There was no sign of Seben anywhere, at least. The masked woman thanked Fate that she had dodged that arrow.

She glanced towards the door to her chambers and realized it was ajar. A knot wrenched in her stomach. That was not a place she wanted to go ever again. Vassa steeled herself as best she could and walked straight for the door, ignoring the brush of summer leaves against her calves.

It was a simple, empty hall lined with windows polished to a mirror shine. As soon as she stepped through, she was almost assaulted by memories. Even in Lysaerys's absence, they could ravage her almost as thoroughly. Ice burned against her skin as the remnants of that dominating presence threatened to obliterate her defenses. For a long moment, Vassa stopped and struggled. She had to run her hand over her face to prove to herself that the tears and blood were only memories.

After a minute, she was ready to push on. The wood under her fingertips as she touched the open door to the bath felt bitterly cold. Was this Lysaerys or her memories?

Knowing herself, Vassa made no attempt to approach the door to the bedroom. It was, mercifully, closed.

The scene when she stepped in was not as she remembered it, warmth flooding into every fiber of her being. The sudden, jarring shift as she stepped from her own private torment to the bath she shared with Seben in Zaeylael was upsetting, even to someone as hardened as Vassa. The lurch did tell her what had happened, however: she had passed from her dream into Seben's.

"Vassa, is something wrong?"

Seben sat at the edge of the bath with her feet in the water. She was still mostly wet from the bath, with a towel wrapped around herself for modesty's sake. Warmth radiated from her and the faint light of celestial fires was a glimmer in her dark eyes. The apprentice fire-speaker rose from her comfortable position, approaching quickly.

"Forgive me, I did not realize I was intruding," Vassa said, averting her eyes. There was something in her voice that wanted to stammer at the sudden intimacy. Here, there was no chance of them being interrupted except by waking. It is only a dream.

The reminder to herself did nothing to change their situation.

"You're never intruding, Vassa," Seben said with a small smile, stopping closer. "I want you to always be willing to come to me."

The masked woman focused her attention on a droplet coursing down Seben's neck instead of those trusting eyes. She realized her mistake immediately. As much as she wanted to run, there was a growing part of Vassa that wanted to stay forever. "I appreciate the sentiment, Seben, but..."

Seben relaxed slightly. "But what?" There was a gentle sort of teasing to the question, announced by posture more than tone.

They were so close and it would be so very easy to break all of her promises to herself. Vassa cursed herself silently before bringing her eyes up to meet Seben's. The affection shining in them took her breath away and despite everything, Vassa settled into their comforting surroundings. Whatever dream this was, there was no harm in being close as long as she followed the unspoken rules.