Fiance for hire

Condoms in a cookie jar

Death looked me in the eye and was breathing heavily, pretty sure she's thinking  of shooting lasers from her eyes too judging by how her red they were
"Do not allow me to repeat myself, Kitchen now"

I gulped "of course mother I'll be right there I just need to wash my eyes"

she narrowed her eyes "don't play with me child, I will drag you if I have to"

At that moment, i was pretty sure if I went into labour right there a K9 unit couldn't find a fuck for my mother to give

She pointed to a chair "sit your behind down"

"You can just say ass you know" I mumbled

She glared at me " I heard that, now tell me what is that irresponsible creature doing in my house?"

I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes at her
"The man I love will not be referred to as an irresponsible creature mother"

If possible, she glared harder "you are not marrying THAT man"

"I am an adult woman that makes her own decisions, I will marry whoever I want to"

"I know Ben leaving made you a little crazy but not this crazy, this marriage will not happen as long as I'm alive"

I stood up and glared at her " as much as I would love to pour sand over your coffin mom, i want to do it after you've seen your grandchild and how happy i am, but if you don't want that to happen then your death can be arranged"

With that I walked out of the kitchen and marched straight to my room, then I remembered that I left my fiancée downstairs and marched back down still fuming

"Are you coming?" I snapped at him

He raised his arms and stepped back "let me just grab our bags"
I waited for him to get them and led the way. When we got to the room I screamed
" That overbearing witch of a woman" I turned to Kaleb " did you know that she thought she could tell ME what to do, no one tells me what to do, if I want to marry you I will, hell if I want 2 more husbands I'll get them, she just—she's just a..."

Kaleb started patting my back and held me close to his chest " calm down Amber, this much stress isn't good for the baby"

I stared up at him "you care about the baby?"

He blinked "of course I care, not just about the baby but you too, you need to take it easy"

I smiled "ok, I will"

He smiled back "sooo, about your middle name, you lied"

I grimaced " I didn't actually, I changed it after I graduated high school, it pissed her off but it was worth it"

Later that night, I changed into a short blue dress for dinner since we always had our first dinner together in the backyard. Kaleb also wore a suit that had me drooling for about thirty seconds before he cleared his throat and I blushed at having being caught.

The backyard was transformed into a fairy looking state. Josephine really outdid herself with the decorations and it also looked like we were the last to arrive as everyone was already seated.

Kaleb pulled out my chair for me " I'm sorry we are late"

Uncle finn glared at me " that dress is too short for a pregnant woman to wear"

"Oh thank you, you know the designer used your dick as an inspiration" I mumbled mostly to myself but it seems Kaleb, Josephine and Matthew heard me as I was seated close to them.
Jojo was trying to mask her laugh with a cough, Matthew choked on his water and Kaleb kept tapping his chest to keep himself from laughing.

My mum cleared her throat getting everyone's attention " I'm so very happy to be among family during this festive season, it's been too long since we sat like this but I'm more grateful to God for bringing our Amber back home to us for the first time in two years"

I smiled " I'm happy to be home and to also be around family"

My mum looked at Kaleb " and it's uh, such a—surprise to have you here, tell us about yourself dear"
I rolled my eyes at her pathetic attempt at being civil but I'll take it.
Kaleb shifted in his seat "hi everyone, my name is Kaleb Wilhelm Anderson, I'm 28 years old, I'm half Italian, half American. My parents died when I was 5 and my aunt raised me ever since. I'm a chef at a restaurant my friend owns and I'm in love with the beautiful woman beside me and I wish to make her my wife"

I saw My mother's left eye twitch " A chef? You couldn't choose a better job? Either way how does a chef like you meet an accomplished woman like my daughter, sorry I meant CEO"

"Actually we met at..."
"We met at the restaurant, I had gone there for a meeting and he came to greet us since we were in the VIP section and everything just clicked" I cut in abruptly. I had to stop him from saying the back up story we agreed on, that wouldn't fool my mother.
My mother eyed both of us "so you cheated on Benjamin for this man and got pregnant with his baby, right?"

I sipped my juice " well mother, you know what they say about green snakes in green grass"

She narrowed her eyes at me "Yes I do, I didn't expect you to be the snake daughter"

I shrugged " life happens"

My sister stood up " we are here to celebrate family not fight amongst ourselves, come on you guys let's feast and be merry we have a long five weeks ahead of us" she raised her glass "to family"

"To family" we all echoed while raising our glasses

Kaleb whispered in my ear " by the way why are there condoms in a cookie jar in your room"

I blushed " that is Jojo trying to pull shit"
He chuckled.

I hope these five weeks will pass with the speed of light.