Misery Business // z.m.

Chapter 10: Mary

I woke up to another bang. This one was closer and slightly more startling. It sounded like a frying pan clashing with someone's head, like in the cartoons.

There was only a small sliver of light that reached me and it took me a moment to remember I was in a closet. I had forgotten where I was for a moment. I must have fallen asleep in the fluffy mass of animal pelts.

I always thought the skinning of animal was atrocious. I thought it was cruel. If it was something like wool, I could understand. You simply shaved the sheep and its coat grew back next year. But killing an animal for its skin seemed wasteful and brutal and sad. Why would you kill an animal? I guess for the same reason humans kill other humans, to gain.

Taking life, to benefit was sinful. Taking anything was sinful I guess. It wasn't right but I guess bad people and bad things had to exist to balance the good in life. The world would always be at war with itself, fighting good against evil and the sooner I realized it, the less harm would be done.

My parents had raised me to ignore that. They raised me to be perfect and I had failed miserably. They were disappointed in me but I wasn't what they wanted me to be. I was born to be human, not to be perfect. I was so shielded from life that for a long while I strived for perfection. After a while I realized I wasn't really striving for perfection I was striving for what my parents wanted. I went along with it for a while and here we are.

I had been gone for a few days, I didn't know exactly how many but I couldn't imagine what my parents were thinking. I cracked a smile at the thought. Had they called the police to search for me? Or had they disowned me and went on with their lives as usual?

For once in my life, I actually didn't care. They could suck it. They didn't have anything over me anymore. Except for maybe money and my college fund. Oh.

It's not like I would be going anywhere soon either. Not with the predicament I was in.

Fucking Zayn.

I was fucking fed up with his fucking bullshit.

I wouldn't allow him to control me. He couldn't objectify, no not like my parents did. I wouldn't allow it. My parents had stolen my childhood and adolescence from me. I wasn't about to let him take control of the rest of my life. I couldn't allow myself to even compromise with the idea of having to answer to someone again.

The only one I wanted to answer to was myself. I was in charge of myself now. Yes, it was terrifying but it was my life. I should be able to live it the way I wanted to.

I had stopped my mind from running wild for a scarce moment and I was interrupted by an immense growling in my stomach.

I was famished. I hadn't eaten in days and the shit he was giving me through that tube wasn't satisfying my vacated stomach.

I smelt something heavenly wafting from what I was guessing was the kitchen. Where else would you cook? It made my mouth water. I smelt bacon and eggs and chocolate.

Breakfast. It must have been morning.

I had to stop myself from going to get some. I knew I would reveal myself if I did. I had to remember who I was dealing with. I was dealing with the same man who had touched me, and threatened me in my own home. The same man that that had murdered two others.

I seemed to forget about that too much. I think it was necessary for me to try and forget the terrible awful Zayn had done. I think I kept forcing myself to forget just so I could face the idea of him.

He was terrifying and I had to remember that. I shouldn't be belittling the bad he has done.

I couldn't help it I guess. I was too naïve and I knew it. I was too forgiving. I was too willing to forget.