Misery Business // z.m.

Chapter 31

He stayed with me simply because I wouldn't let him leave. He knew that if he got up and left me that I'd only follow him. He was concerned that my stitches might rip because I was moving too much. He insisted I rest which was annoying because I didn't want to rest. I couldn't just sit still after all that had happened to me.

I wanted to discuss it more with him. I wanted to know who had got me. Who had tried to kill me? What were their names? Why did they do it? What letters were butchered into my skin? I was afraid to ask. I was afraid he would get upset again.

Zayn had done some pretty fucked up things to me. If I were less compassionate, or less of anything that I was, I probably wouldn't have been so forgiving towards him. I wanted to be over everything that he had done to me because it was too much for me to handle now. In the end, when he was making all those decisions for me, I never really understood his side of it.  I just saw that they weren't my decisions. 

I was headstrong and I was persistent. I knew that. Yet, I couldn't find it in me to interrogate him with all my questions. He would just get upset with himself. I didn't want to cause him any grief. I knew he felt like he failed me.

We rested for quite a while, but he didn't touch me. He didn't throw his hand over my side or stroke his hands through my hair. He believed I was fragile. 

I knew he had fallen asleep. I could tell by the slowing of his breath. He must have been exhausted. I could only imagine how long he had stayed awake to make sure I was okay.

I refrained from touching the bandages again, but I did get up. For a while I sat on the window ledge and it began to rain very lightly. I was surprised it wasn't snow with how cold it must have been outside. I stayed and watch the droplets of water run races down the window. After a while I did grow uncomfortable and I began walking around the apartment. I got something to eat and even watched some cartoons.  Regretablly, I snooped around the apartment. I had never really paid much attention to how many rooms were in the flat. I never touched his things. He always kept doors locked. When I was here and he wasn't the only rooms that I was allowed in were the kitchen, the family room, the bedroom, and the bathroom. Even when he was home he kept me under his careful watch so I didn't go anywhere I wasn't supposed to.

To my surprise the doors were opened. All of them. So I went in them. I supposed that he only decided to lock all the doors after I hid in the closet that first day.

I rediscovered the closet as I silently opened and closed doors. I was careful not to make noise. Surprisingly, I stumbled upon a door I had never seen before.

I was slightly intrigued when I discovered it was an office. There were several computer monitors on his desk. It was like something you'd see in a spy movie.

I sat down at his desk feeling a little sore. I brushed it off as being tired though. I wiggled the mouse and the screens lit up, but I was disappointed to find out that there was a password. I tried everything from '123' to 'password,' but nothing worked. I tried his name and I even tried my name. Despite my efforts,  the word 'incorrect' kept flashing across the middle screen.

I raked my brain trying to think of what it would be. He wouldn't make it hard to remember but he wouldn't make it easy enough to guess. So I sat there and that's when I noticed something was off about the room. It was the only room in the house that had photos. Like actual photos of real people.

I grabbed a framed one on his desk and was immediately intrigued to see what I was guessing was his family. He wasn't in the photo but he looked like he was related to them. I thought back to the letter from his sister I had taken. He hadn't spoken with them in a while and I could understand why he never replied to them now. He didn't want to drag them into this.