Misery Business // z.m.

Chapter 13: Mary

// Really mature themes in this chapter. Like im actually kind of scared i wrote it. If your really not into it just don't read it kay. i won't even be offended//

Zayn left me when Eleanor came back with food but I was unable to think straight. I had half a chicken nugget before I started wailing again.

She didn't even know what to do. Even my bendy straw couldn't make me happy.

She coaxed me into eating the rest of the food she had gotten me but I was so emotionally torn about the whole thing I couldn't seem to act maturely anymore.

"I wanna go home." I cried into the pillow. "And it's all your fault." I pointed at Eleanor.

She sighed, trying not to lose her patience. "I know you've told me fifty times and I've apologized a hundred. I'm sorry but if you just stopped crying, you could realize I am trying to help you." She continued to speak to me in a soft tone. I had to give her props for putting up with me this long, but honestly I was still really mad at her.

I tore my face out of the pillow in a pout. "What could you possibly tell me that I want to hear?" I wiped under my eyes determined to stop crying for now.

If my mother had seen me like this, she would have been aghast at the sight of me showing emotion. Not to mention, I looked like a mess. My father probably would have smacked me for acting like a baby but my parents weren't there to do that anymore. I had to pull myself together on my own. I know my parents treated me like shit sometimes but I felt lonely without them. Even though they were cruel sometimes and weren't at other times, I trusted my parents. If my mom told me I was dressed like a whore, I believed her. If my dad told me I was being immature, I believed him. They were my parents and yes, I was planning on leaving them eventually but I wanted to do it on my own terms. I can't imagine how furious they were with me for just disappearing. I wanted to leave my parents on good terms. I didn't want them to disown me. That wasn't what I wanted at all. I wanted them to accept me and respect my life decisions. There may have been a small chance of me gaining their respect in that perspective, but now, I'll never know if I could.

"Why don't we get you cleaned up first? Do you want me to run you a bath?" She asked sweetly.

"No." I shook my head. "I just wanna go home."

"I know, but I need you to calm down before I can help you." She was pleading with me.

I shook my head at her defiantly.

"If you don't calm down soon, Zayn is going to come in here." She had bargained with him to keep the door closed. I don't know how she managed to get him to agree.

"Are you afraid of spiders?" I asked sincerely.

"Yes but-"

"I don't threaten to throw you in a room with spiders so why are you threatening to throw me in a room with him?" I glared at her.

"What are you talking about?" She looked at me like I was crazy and for a moment I actually thought I was.

"What I am saying is that I'm afraid of him so stop talking about him." I was mumbling incoherently. My mind was foggy and I was tired of crying but I couldn't stop crying.

"Why are you afraid of him? He wouldn't hurt you." She assured me calmly.

He wouldn't hurt me. Ha. Now that was funny.

"He already has." I shouted at her in anger. She flinched back because of my harsh tone but I didn't care. "I haven't cried this much since I was five and my mother told me I couldn't play with my dolls anymore." I spat at her again. I couldn't stand how ignorant she was to the fact that what was happening was wrong. I couldn't help but yell at her.