One Piece: Grand Endeavours

Chapter Ninety-Two: Faltering

Usopp
Danni and I sit in silence and even her company isn't doing anything to cheer me up. Not that my happiness is a priority right now. Not with everything that is going on. Given how close we are to the deadline hope has pretty much dwindled out. I am trying to think of what I could say to maybe cheer Danni up somewhat. I know full well nothing I could say to Luffy would cheer him up but Danni? There has to be something I can say. Although this isn't easy for her, I know that. Me and Kuro have become really good friends but Danni and Kuro are best friends. The knowledge you are going to lose your best friend can't be easy. In fact I know it isn't easy: me and Kuro aren't best friends but we are close.
"You okay?" I ask her, gently holding her hand.
"Not really," she murmurs. "I don't think anyone is 'okay' at the moment though."
"Fair point...a stupid question," I admit, sheepishly. "Chopper will make an antidote though."
"Hopefully," she says, but doesn't sound convinced. I'm not convinced either.

Why is it good people are always put through bullshit? Okay, Kuro was a bad person at one point but that was only because so much bullshit kept happening to him whenever he was nice! His parents, his uncle, Keizo...His life just seems to be one thing after another going wrong. Us, as the crew, it seems were the first people not to go out of our way to hurt him so if we're the ones to kill him...my heart sinks at the thought. Also Luffy...he doesn't deserves this. He undeniably loves Kuro (adores him, even) and he is another person who has been through too much and doesn't deserve it. Especially as I don't think any of us thought Luffy would ever end up with anyone. Or Kuro as well really...But those two are perfectly matched for each other and I don't think Luffy would fully get over loosing Kuro, especially given some of the injuries are caused by him.

I feel a shot of guilt when my thoughts somehow wander over to our wedding. I know I shouldn't be thinking about that with Kuro's life in the balance and I mentally slap myself for it. Kuro is the best man for the wedding and I really doubt it would be the same without him. Especially considering how much he helped me with advice when it came to asking Danni out and the engagement. If it wasn't for her then I likely may have never had the courage to ask her out or the engagement. As a result I owe a lot to him and without him things would just feel...wrong. Not just the wedding. Everything would feel wrong if I lost such a good friend and it would definitely change things and maybe even people. Nova's optimism is already drained and the idea of that going away forever is a horrible fault and I don't even want to imagine how drastic the change would be for Luffy. Trying to ignore imagination though is not easy.

Danni
I'm glad Usopp broke the silence because I had been turning over in my mind how to ask if he was okay. Even though I know none of us are okay. I merely pointed out no one was 'okay' when he asked because I didn't want to go into depth with how I am feeling because the last thing I want to do is get people's moods, especially Usopp's, down even more. It is way worse than 'not okay' as I obsess morbidly over the fact how I am likely to lose my best friend soon. I really am trying to stay positive but as time has gone on it has become more and more difficult. I lost my mother when I was young, when she defended us from the pirates who raided our island, and like most of the crew I know as a result how powerful grief can be. But it being our fault, even if we were controlled? I predict it is going to be much worse.

I stand up and stretch from where I am cramped from sitting so long.
"I'm going to go see Kuro, Luffy and Chopper," I say, and head to the hospital area. Things are the same as ever. Kuro is motionless, still relying on the oxygen mask to breathe, Chopper is still looking worn out as he works on the antidote, hardly looking up as I come in. Luffy is still sat by Kuro's bed, looking drained of everything, lacking any happiness or energy. I sit in the other chair on the other side of the bed opposite Luffy.
"Hey," I greet.
"Hi," he replies, rubbing his eyes slightly. "I think Chopper is nearly done with the antidote." It is painfully obvious he is trying to force himself to be positive and sounds uncertain of the statement. I don't point that out though.

He gently adjusts the blankets again, despite the fact that they are already perfect.
"You still haven't left, have you?" I say.
"I want to be here for him if he wakes up," he says. Then the already weak smile falters. "Or if the worst happens." He brushes Kuro's hair from his eyes again which I always find pretty sweet given Kuro rarely likes his hair in his eyes. It is one of the smaller ways we can see how much Luffy adores Kuro.
"I'm sure he'll appreciate it," I say, trying to focus more on the positive outcome because Luffy needs some positivity right now. A small smile crosses Luffy's face and his expression brightens. It may not be his trademark huge grin but at least he looks less drained than before and a hopeful expression enters his features. Hope is something we all need now. If the antidote is getting there then there is at least some hope, even if there is no guarantee that it'll work. Chopper is a great doctor and has completely thrown himself into it so there is as good as a chance as possible. At least that is what I have to tell myself.

Luffy
Normally I like company but in a way I am relieved when Danni leaves. These days being happy is impossible and being around people I feel obliged to somewhat emote. I don't feel like emoting. I don't feel doing anything except waiting for the moment Kuro's eyes open again. If the other outcome happens I don't know what I'll do. I don't want to know because that sounds like a situation which would permanently change everything and everyone. I hate the idea of losing anyone in my crew because they are all my family but I love Kuro (as sappy as that sounds) and the thought of living in a world without him is painful and sends a sharp pang in my chest. I sniffle, because since the incident, I constantly am on the verge of crying, and take the one thing that reminds me of better times. I gently hold Kuro's hand again, wondering if he is aware of anything whilst in the coma and if so, is this nice or is he angry at me for doing this to him?

Kuro should be angry at me. I'm angry at me! We were all being controlled and I am not angry at the rest of the crew but I should have been able to fight it! It's Kuro and I never should have hurt him! I'm the one person Kuro opens up to extensively and I never wanted to hurt him like this after everything he has been through. Gosh, you can tell that I spend too much time with Kuro now I am having double standards for myself. Although Kuro is getting better at that to be fair. The idea of the high chance of never getting to spend time with Kuro again fills my mind and I feel my lip start to tremble. My hand tightens slightly around his hand, as if I am trying to tighten Kuro's grip to life somehow but I know that, unfortunately, it doesn't work like that. If it did work like that then things would be so much better and happier. Life, however, is not a wish making factory and if it was every wish the factory gave I would be putting towards Kuro pulling through this. I think that is what everyone would want right now because I would still blame myself for putting him in a condition this horrific and this close to brushing death but I wouldn't have to blame myself for his death.

Suddenly panic rises in me, nauseating and powerful. It grows, white hot, burning in my chest painfully and devastatingly. I feel my breath catch in my chest and the room sways slightly as air doesn't meet my lungs as the realisation that something has gone very, very wrong. Hoping that I am wrong I put two fingers against the inside of his pale wrist, chewing my lip, hoping that it was just panic that made me see this. However horror and panic fills me as I realise I was dead right and things have got a lot worse. 

Kuro's heart has faltered into nothing.