No other - TeukChul

You're Safe Jungsoo~

Ah it must be a good day! 

Teuk got up of his bed, he couldn’t sleep all night as usual but at least he felt good about that new day. He prepared himself to go to the company; it was the first time in a while that he felt happy about going to work. Wore his favorite outfit and carefully fixed his long blond hair.

 

Siwon didn’t call me yet, I should call hangeng I really miss him… at that time he received a phone call from Siwon telling him that due to the bad weather that day the events were postponed to the week after.  He felt the luckiest that day! As soon as he ended the call with siwon, he started jumping all around his room, happy dancing as his low screams filled the place. It has been a while since he had taken a break, he felt so good that he will be able to rest even if he didn’t fall asleep but at least he could talk to his best friend and stay at home, in his bed, doing nothing but what he really wanted to do. 

 

He held his phone and called hangeng.

“Hello! It’s been a while”

“Hey leeteuk, yes it’s been so long… it’s good you still remember that you have a friend.”

“Wait… you know that I’ve been busy with work that’s why I couldn’t call you nor contact you…”

“Yeah right…”

“Anyways, I just wanted to talk to you as I finally have a break today… and make sure you’re doing well…” leeteuk’s mood changed quickly, from happy and positive to disappointed and sad again. His heart felt heavy, he only wanted to talk to his only best friend and be happy, but it turned out that even his closest one misunderstood him, just like everyone else. “Have a good day” he added and ended the call.

 

Ah! That’s okay… everyone is misunderstanding me anyways… he thought as he went to the kitchen to get something to eat. I don’t feel like eating anymore I will check my social media instead, he walked back to his room, grabbed his phone and sat on his bed to scroll through twitter. While doing so, he read a new rumor about him, and a lot of haters were throwing bad and harsh words towards him, some even sent him d*ath threats in his dms.

 

He noticed that he had received a message for the first time from Heechul making sure he’s okay and asking him not to open twitter. But sadly, he already did…

 

 

He was blankly staring at the wall in front of him, didn’t know what he should do at that time. His anxiety began getting worse, he couldn’t control himself, he couldn’t stop the panic attack that ruined his day, his body started aching… it felt like there was someone inside his head screaming, so loudly and so horribly at him, and beating him up with all the bad things about him, all his insecurities, all while screaming at him that he is a failure, and that he deserves nothing good in his life, he deserves no happiness in his life and shouldn’t even feel a little bit of it. He curled up in his bed, tears flowing down his cheeks, his heart beating so fast that he couldn’t breathe normally. I don’t want to live, I want to disappear… he thought as he cried his heart out, and he didn’t make any sound so that nobody from the outside could hear him crying. He didn’t want to be alone but he didn’t want to see anyone at the same time. Who told them I wanted to stay alive anyways? He thought hugging his pillow and biting it almost tearing it up. 

 

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!

Somebody was knocking on his door, it seemed urgent the way they were knocking. But he couldn’t stand up, he didn’t have any power to move, he was barely breathing how could he walk to open the door? And he was crying how will he open the door and let them see him like that?