Oh My God (Homework Sequel)

What Have I Done?

I sit on the couch, impatiently waiting. Lafayette and Hercules were already fast asleep on the couch, Peggy was cuddled up on the floor in front of the couch, and I was on my fourth movie in the apparent movie night I was having. I was waiting for John to come back.

I look at the clock. 4:36am..

I hear some moving around and I quickly turn towards the door. There was no movement from there, though.

“Alex? What time is it?”

I turn and see Hercules rubbing his eyes and yawning, Lafayette still sleeping on his lap. I sigh softly, shaking my head.

“Go back to sleep, it doesn’t matter.” I tell him.

He doesn’t listen, however, and grabs his phone, checking the time. “Alex, why are you still up at four in the morning?”

“I’m not, you’re uh, dreaming?” I try, but he doesn’t buy it.

“John’s not back yet?” He asks, yawning.

I frown and shake my head. There was no point in trying to lie. “No, he’s not. I’ve been watching different movies just waiting for him..”

Hercules sighs and looks to the side. “I figured he’d be back by now, I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, it’s not your fault. It’s mine.” I bite my lip. “If I hadn’t said those things-”

“He’ll come around. It’s just going to take a little more ti-”

He’s interrupted by the sound of keys jangling. We both look to the door and I stay silent as I watch a tired John walk through. The first thing he looks at when he enters is the couch, and he freezes when he sees me.

“You guys are still up.. I thought you’d be asleep by now..” He says quietly.

“I couldn’t sleep while you were gone, I’ve been up since you left..” I say.

He nods and then looks to Herc. “You worried about me, too?”

“No, I just woke up.” He says. There’s an awkward moment of silence before Herc clears his throat. “Anyway, you two have your own bedroom, you should go in there and talk.”

I continue to look at John, trying to see his facial expressions through the dim lighting. He nods slowly. “Okay. I just have a couple things I have to do first.” He closes the door behind him and heads straight to our room. I look back at Hercules and he nods, giving me a thumbs up.

I take a deep breath and go to the room, sitting down on the bed. John was in the bathroom, probably washing his face or brushing out his hair or something. I sit criss crossed on top of the covers, waiting for John to come out of the bathroom.

After around ten minutes, he came out and went to the closet, starting to change into his pajamas. I nod to myself and decide to just start with the apology. I had to break the ice somehow, and that seemed to be the best way to me.

“John, I’m so so-”

“Don’t tell me you’re sorry.” He says in a soft tone, not turning to me.

I freeze, worried I did something wrong. Well, clearly I did, or we wouldn’t be in this situation right now.

“I- What?” I ask, my breath hitching with worry.

“I don’t want you to apologize, I would rather just pretend it didn’t happen.” John says, still not facing me.

I tilt my head. “This doesn’t feel like pretending it didn’t happen.”

“Look, I know you were stressed, I shouldn’t have pushed you over the line, can we just drop it?” He asks.

“John, you stayed out all day and won’t even look at me, clearly it’s bothering you. I can’t just drop something when there’s a chance I could fix it-”

“You can’t fix it, Alex. You can’t fix eighteen years.”

I freeze again. I don’t know if I’ve ever quite seen this side of John. I really struck a nerve, and  now I feel even more awful.

“John.. Please at least turn around..” I say quietly.

He hesitates, but slowly turns around, looking solemn. I open my arms for him and he trudges over, sitting in front of me and falling into me. I wrap my arms around him and he sighs softly.

“John, I know you didn’t want me to apologize, but I really am sorry. I never should have said those things, no matter how stressed I am.” I tell him.

He shakes his head. “I just… I’ve heard it too much. My dad always told me he was sorry, but he never meant it. I’ve heard the ‘sorry for your loss’ so many times, and so many useless apologies.. They mean nothing.” He says, his voice shaking a little.

“Well, how about I love you?” I ask, looking down at him.

He looks up at me. “I’ve heard it a lot, but only two people have said it with meaning behind it.”

“Who are these two people?” I ask.

“My mom.. And you.” He says, looking back down and burying his face into my chest.

I hold him tighter and kiss the top of his head. “Then I love you. I love you so much John Laurens. I never want to hurt you again, and I mean that.”

He nods gently and I rub his back. “Maybe we should get some sleep. I’ll call out of work tomorrow, and we can have a much-needed chill day, how does that sound?”

He sighs. “That sounds great.”

I let go so he can readjust himself next to me rather than in front of me and we both lay down facing each other. I look up at him.

“I love you.” I repeat to him.

He closes his eyes and pulls me closer to him. “I love you, too.”

969 Words

I really hope you guys didn't forget about me and this book lol. It's almost done, next chapter will be out tomorrow. Thanks for sticking around while I took forever to update, life's been a bit crazy