I sat there, in the dark. It felt like my heart had been shattered but was still stuck inside my ribs and flesh. Just there. I felt tears run down my face. What the fuck? Why am I crying? Why am I feeling this fucking emotional over a stupid fucking thing?
"You think they actually cared?"
Fuck off this is your fault.
"Youre over complicating things."
That's what I do.
"I love how you claim how you don't care yet you're crying over... this. Pathetic."
Shut the fuck up nows not the fucking time alright?!
"You doubt yourself constantly. You wonder if you're just as annoying as the people you believe are annoying. You hide behind your ego because this is better than hating yourself."
I shake my head vigorously. Now you're over complicating things. I dont have an ego, I dont believe im better than everyone else, I dont know what the fuck to believe okay? Is that what you want me to say? I grit my teeth, pain welling up in my heart, eyes, body, eventually pouring out in a pool of misery and blurry blood full of static.
"Abandon them, they don't care..."
Shut up.
"You already killed them"
"To think you killed them how fucking stupid"
"The wound is still open"
"It was never open"
"Dance with me"
"You're hot."
"Yeah"
"I know." A smirk appeared delicately across their face. How angelic, "You're so angelic. You're an angel." I say matter of factly in a fawn praising head-over-heels voice. "You've said that before." They reply. I chuckle lightly, reminiscing of the past. I press my cold bony hand across their warm soft face. "And how does that make you feel?" I smile and burst in laughter as they smack my hand away and yell "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS MAKE THIS INTO A THERAPY SESSION?!?" playfully, eventually breaking into hysterical laughter. We both were now laying on the ground laughing our asses off like crack-heads in the dark with only the moonlight from the half-opened window to guide our vision to one another. Our eyes locked. "Are we in love?" I asked. It wasnt exactly a bold thing to ask, it was mainly out of the "wgiuegouyv39uy9uveey9uv" part of my brain that made me say it. They give the same smirk and look away, then back at me. Their eyes turned from playfulness to seriousness. "Love isn't a concept I grasp. You too." They say back slowly with a hint of confusion in their voice, as if it was an out of pocket question to ask if this was love. "Then what is this?" I argue at their reply. They cut off eye contact with me quickly and look up at the ceiling, trying to get their thoughts straight. "I dont know."
