Jessica Grayson has struggled with body dysmorphia and bullying for most of her life. And when she believes she has finally turned things around for herself, she is betrayed and made fun of by her boyfriend and close friends, which sends her into a...
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Jessica
"So this or this?"
Steff holds out two very similar dresses up and looks at me questioningly. She looked good in both of them, in my opinion.
"That one." I point to a pale yellow midi dress.
"You don't think it makes me look short?" She holds it over herself and looks into the mirror skeptically.
"No, it doesn't."
"So, what will you wear?"
I shrug.
She gives me a long, meaningful look.
"You know you only graduate High School once, right? Try to seem a little enthusiastic."
"I am," I say, sitting up straighter.
The truth is my stomach is in knots. Everything is getting finalized, and I'm going to book my flight later tonight. Alex suggested I come right after graduation, so I can have a few days to get used to her new apartment and the neighborhood while she is still there. She has to go to Amsterdam for a music concert in a couple of weeks, and she'll be traveling a lot this summer, so these few days are probably the longest I'm going to spend with her for some time. I just can't believe how quickly everything is happening.
For the past few days, I have been working day and night to make this move possible. So why does it feel like I am suddenly nearing the end of the world?
"You haven't said more than a few words since I got here. You're leaving in about a week! I want to enjoy my best friend while I have her." She pouts.
I look at her regretfully.
"I know. I do too. I just can't believe this is all happening. And the twins hate me."
"No, they don't. But they will miss you."
"Dean won't even look at me." I chuckle humourlessly. "This is not how I saw this time in my life going. How did everything change so quickly? It feels like I'm in a dream sometimes when I think about it."
She throws the dresses on the bed and sits next to me.
"That's life, unfortunately. We only plan things to give ourselves the illusion of control. But it can all go to hell at any moment."
I lay my head on her shoulder.
"Do you think I'll regret this?" I ask.
"Moving away or leaving Liam?"
"Both."
"I think you will miss him a lot. And you might confuse that for regret, but I don't see you regretting your move. I saw you in New York. It wasn't really your scene. And you've always said you wanted to study overseas."
