Jessica Grayson has struggled with body dysmorphia and bullying for most of her life. And when she believes she has finally turned things around for herself, she is betrayed and made fun of by her boyfriend and close friends, which sends her into a...
This chapter is dedicated to JustinW11Thank you for all the amazing support. Go check out his story "Understanding Teenagers". :)
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Once we're inside, I try to gather my thoughts so I can ask him about Amanda and everything else that happened in New York. It's time I put aside my insecurities and face the reality of things. I'm sure the truth won't be worse than the scenarios in my head.
"Liam?" I call out hesitantly.
We're sitting cuddled up on the white couch in the living room, clinging onto eachother. Liam has the fire going in the mantel, and the warmth helps soothe my nerves.
"Yeah," He turns around to look at me.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure." He says, but I see the wariness in those haunted eyes.
I inhale as much air as my lungs will allow.
"Who is Amanda?"
Liam takes a sharp breath, his body going rigid. Saying her name out loud mixed with the sickened expression on his face makes something in me tighten.
"Ellyn's friend Kim, I think you know her. She mentioned her to me the other day and that night..." My voice trembles at the memory, so I clear my throat. "That night Louis came over, he said her name, and I saw the way you reacted. The same way you're reacting now. Who is she, Liam?"
The look on his face is a combination of panic and anguish. His eyes are full of grief as they look into mine. He doesn't say anything. He doesn't even blink, and I feel tears threaten my eyes.
"Did you love her?" My voice is barely audible, but the way he squeezes his eyes shut lets me know that he heard me.
He doesn't deny it. And I feel my heart crack in the middle.
"Do you still love her?"
My eyes widen in a moment of sharp clarity. I wasn't prepared for this admission. A silent admission, but an admission all the same. My head pounds, and I begin to stand up. But Liam grabs my arms and tugs me back down.
"Liam, I need to think. I can't be here right now." I try to free my hand from his hold, but his grip tightens like a vice.
"You're not going anywhere!" He says with a finality that freezes me. "You've got it all wrong. Christ, Jess! You can't rush to leave me at every fucking turn. Have mercy on a guy's heart, for God's sake!"
I shake my head in an attempt to clear it. I can't stand fighting with Liam, so I usually try to avoid it at all costs. I would rather hide in my corner and wait for the storm to pass than argue with him.
He is different. He wants to talk things out. He is good at putting his feelings to words, and I admire that about him. But once I start asking questions he doesn't want asked, he completely shuts down. And I just can't take it. But the fact that he thinks I'd consider leaving him so easily breaks my heart. He has no idea just how deep in this I am.
