for lovers who hesitate | taejun

06 | always

Lunch time. Kai insisted on eating with Taehyun in a nice shop, maybe five minutes from their office, that sells rice meals and noodles (good because he needed something warm for his headache after drinking on a Wednesday night). He's shyer now than he was yesterday and so Taehyun made sure he's not to do anything that might be too much

"How's everything with Yeonjun? I hope you're not here to ask for comfort," Taehyun starts when Kai ought to not say anything at all. He didn't know if the other can still remember but based on the shaking of his head almost immediately, he knew that Taehyun meant to ask if he broke up with Yeonjun.

"We're okay now. We talked a bit last night and I-I think we're okay now."

"You think. That doesn't sound okay to me," Taehyun mused and let himself enjoy the meal served. "Look. I know this is none of my business but Yeonjun is a precious friend. I don't want him getting hurt because his groom-to-be is having second thoughts."

Taehyun wished he was mistaken though or he wouldn't know what he'd do to Kai if Yeonjun ends up broken-hearted on his supposed wedding day.

"Hueningkai, do you love Yeonjun?" Remembering the gaze he would give Yeonjun last night, Taehyun knew the answer already, but he still wanted to hear it from him nonetheless.

"I do. I love him a lot."

"Then why should you even hesitate? You know how Yeonjun loves you too. Hueningkai-" Taehyun stopped, a lucent memory suddenly came washing down.

Yeonjun called Taehyun for a meal a day after their first meeting in a long time. It wasn't much but either way it made Taehyun's heart warm.

Yeonjun pushed an envelope to Taehyun's hand and he gladly accepted it.

The color, smell, and weight made it easy to tell what it is. "I thought you were just going to ask me to go there without a proper invitation."

"That's absurd!"

"I'm just kidding."

Taehyun showed him the invitation, murmuring a thanks, then slipped it into his folder. (He came from work).

"Hyuka said you're a very busy person but I hope you can make time to attend the special day."

The feeling was horrible. Taehyun didn't want to go when he first found out but now he doesn't think he can ever say no to Yeonjun-like how it used to be. Yeonjun was Taehyun's weakness-everything about him is-and Taehyu hated how he still managed to pinky promise that he'll be there when he's sure his pillow will be filled with tears after the wedding.

How far will you go just for Yeonjun?

"I missed you," Yeonjun said out of the blue, almost making Taehyun choke on his noodles.

"Uhm, I missed you too. Congratulations on getting into medical school by the way."

Yeonjun smiled and gave him the same eyes he had that one time they shared in the detention room. "That was years ago. I'm an intern right now."

"I'm happy for you, Doctor," Taehyun winked. "By the way, why aren't you eating your food? Do you want to tell me something else?"

Taehyu placed his chopsticks down when Yeonjun nodded. His eyes reflected the same look that haunted you for years - the genuine and serene look over painful words.

Taehyun's seeing it again and it made him shuffle on his seat. "What is it?" Taehyun cleared his throat.

"I liked you in high school."

"Come again?"

"I liked you for a very long time but I didn't tell you because I was scared it would ruin our friendship."

No, no, no. This can't be happening right now.

"Yeonjun, it's been years- why now?"

"I thought it would be good to tell you about it because you'll find it fun-"

"Yeonjun," Taehyun didn't allow him to finish. That was a lot to take in.

How cruel can this be? So all along, they liked each other? All along, Taehyun wasn't wrong about thinking more about Yeonjun's actions? All along, he's very wrong about the stare he gave him on the day he decided to never make a move?

The 'could have been's and 'what if's starts rushing to him, without a moment later, a tear came running down Taehyun's cheek.

"Yeonjun, I liked you too. A lot actually. I liked you in our last year of high school and didn't confess because I thought you didn't like me."

"Oh" was all that escaped Yeonjun's mouth and Taehyun burst into fits of laughter-only they sounded painful.

Taehyun accepted a tissue handed to him by his best friend and spoke when he calmed down. "Things would have been different if we were just honest, huh?"

Taehyun felt like they were robbed of another life-a fantasy that could have been true. But not everything has a happy ending, don't they? Especially to two idiots like him and Yeonjun who wasted opportunities.

But perhaps he's the only one who felt like that.

"I don't think so," He fought back a smile and Taehyun saw how he started playing with the engagement ring on his finger. "I think I was always meant to find Huening Kai."

He continues, "He's the best thing that ever happened to me and I won't wish for anything to change that."

"He loves you more than anything," Taehyun mumbled.

Huening Kai seemed to have caught it when he reacted almost immediately-looking down and holding onto the chopsticks on his hand tight Taehyun was scared he'll break them.

Taehyun felt pity. Maybe he's not really fine with Kai's actions but he got the gist of what he's feeling when they were out drinking. He was scared, insecure, and jealous-maybe even worried that Yeonjun was hiding more when there's really nothing to be worried about.

"You don't have anything to be afraid of. Yeonjun may be an idiot sometimes but he won't do anything to purposely hurt you. If you're worried about me, then-" Taehyun shrugged. "-know that what I want is Yeonjun's happiness and that's with you."

It was his final say. Nothing more to follow.

Yeonjun taught Taehyun that things happen because they are meant to happen. Just like how it was meant for him to not confess his feelings for Yeonjun and the other way around, or how it was meant for Yeonjun to kiss Kai in high school then meet him again in college to get married in the future.

Taehyun now sees how everything is falling into place and that he should stop dwelling on the past-but that is easier said than done. Healing takes time and Taehyun's glad to say that he has taken the first step to getting better.

To accept that he will always be Yeonjun's best friend.