Missing You

Prologue

The stages of grief come differently to dissimilar types of people. How hard you fall merely depends on the relationship you held with that person. The stronger the bond, the greater the pain.

Grief is difficult. It's not something you can avoid and move on from, everyone will eventually experience some type of grief. Whether it's with a pet, a mother, a father, or even a friend. When you loose someone, the symptoms will come in five different factors; isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and then, acceptance. Some people can't get out of one of these five stages, sometimes it's hard to recover. You find yourself trapped, thinking to yourself "What if?"

"What if I could have saved them?"

"What if the same thing happens to me?"

But the worst question during the duration of grief, which hurts most of all, is "Am I going to be okay without them?"
I asked myself this constantly, day in and day out. It made me loose control, my anger filled, and I was continuously pushing my friends away when they were trying to help. They never succeeded.

Till this very day, I still feel as though I'm in the depression stage of grief, trying desperately to free myself.

Grief is evil, it holds you down, forcing you to act out in a way you don't want to, which makes it harder to escape.

However, it is possible to come out of it, something I tell myself on repeat. An important person once told me, "Look for a new angle and you'll find a way through." I won't mention his name for now, but I can tell you that his advice helped me through the toughest of times. I'm grateful for that. For me to explain why I'm telling you this, I'd have to fast-forward back three months ago, where it all took place.

San Fransoyko.