sane - minsung

eight

this was much harder than hyunjin had expected it to be. he felt like an absolute fool to believe minho had actually forgiven him.

like mentioned before, he had been struggling ever since the night he admitted to his faults and apologized to the elder. reason being: he simply couldn't take the pressure anymore, being aware of all he did wrong just messed with his head.

he didn't want to be the bad guy. but he was. just that singular thought was like a punishment to obtain, constantly beating him down and following him everywhere he went.

"don't cry, don't cry, don't cry" he said to himself in one large exhale, watching his breath waver in the frigid air. he then leaned on the brick wall of the building and let the guilt pass through.

at least he tried to. unfortunately but fortunately enough he was disrupted by the door opening and a figure start to approach him.

"you should get back inside. it's fucking cold, hyunjin."

that voice made hyunjin lift his head up and make eyes with, of course, minho.

"i'm sorry, but just let me be out here."

"why. so you can cry about getting embarrassed?" minho didn't intend to be rude, but when it came to the tension between these two it was hard not to be.

"i'm not upset because i'm embarrassed. i'm upset with myself."

minho continued to take steps closer until he was face to face with hyunjin. "listen. you can clearly see i will never forgive you 100%. but i'm not mad, at least right now. i get that you're struggling mentally and if you were to ask me why, i'd tell you it's karma which is what you deserve. but right now i'm not here to start anything more than what already happened, i just want to talk."

hyunjin nodded, understanding and agreeing with everything the older male had just said. it's true, he felt the mental state he's been trapped in was some sort of punishment given to him from what he had done. although, some part of him still wondered... why couldn't it just stop? why couldn't they start over and be friends again? he missed minho, a lot, and nothing would go back to the way he wanted it to if minho couldn't forgive him.

"they say what's in the past should stay in the past...so why bring in into present...it'll only cause future conflicts. so can we start over, please?" hyunjin was sincere with his words. it was true he wanted to start over...but from minho reaction, that didn't seem to realistic.

"start over? are you fucking crazy? we can try again, but we're not starting over. i can't ever forgive nor forget everything you did to me and jisung."

"i-i know but i thought you'd be different when you came ba-"

"what the fuck is wrong with you?" minho looked at him in disgust.

"no no no i didn't mean it like that- i meant i just thought maybe you'd be willing to give me another chance when you got back but you-"

"not after what you did."

"minho please, i know it was terrible of me to cause all that pain from making you hide who you really were your whole childhood, but come on. you even admitted to yourself you needed help and needed to change when you put yourself in that facility"

"i did that for my family. not for myself. it was what had to be done. not to mention there's way more things you did to me than just that"

"still...i just miss you."

"still?! you have the audacity to say "still" after you falsely accused me of raping you, ruined my childhood and teen years, AND cause my husband and i to live in a fucking car for weeks, leaving us both with ptsd?! maybe you're the one who needed to change after all." minho stepped back away from hyunjin and made sure his hands were kept deep in his pockets.

he just knew if hyunjin were to say one more wrong thing...he'd loose his sliver of sanity.

as for hyunjin, he felt as if he were going to crumble. the words that came out of his mouth were nothing but a desperate call for minho to be his friend again, but they all came out wrong. he had no bad intentions, at least to himself they sounded right, but clearly minho wanted nothing to do with him.

to minho he was just someone to put up with because he is someone his friends loved.

after a moment of silence and hyunjin staring at the ground, minho decided he'd be the one to speak again. so he took a step forward and grabbed a hold of hyunjins arm, making the younger flinch. "you're shivering, we're go inside." he said bluntly as he began walking with hyunjin following behind with his head hung low in shame.

-

everyone inside had finished their meals and were chit chatting about this and that. minkyu was sitting on jeongins lap while the older played with his hair. "innie?" the youngest questioned, earning a hum in response.

"is daddy punching jinnie?" he ask, semi concerned.

jeongin gasp and immediately turned the boy around to face him. "kyu, don't say things like that!"

"but they've been gone for a long time and in the past-"

"i know that bub, but your daddy doesn't punch people anymore." jeongin only hoped what he said was true.

"then can we go find them?"

"how about we send your dada to go get them and bring them back. does that sound okay?"

minkyu nodded eagerly which lead to jeongin tapping on the boys fathers arm. "hey ji"

the squirrel like male turned his head to face his bestfriend and son, which of course gave him a wide smile. "what's up?"

"you should probably go check on minho and hyunjin...you know, just in case."

jisung agreed that was a good idea, to be honest he was getting a bit nervous himself. although just as he began to get up from his seat minho and hyunjin came walking through the doors.

everyone's eyes were on them. minho strutted through the door with his head held high as per usual, and hyunjins was hung low. it was clear they had gotten into some sort of argument or disagreement.

"how about we take this back to our house now hm?" minho announced, referring to his family's home.

everyone was quick to stand up and grab their bags, clear that everyone was eager to escape the tension filled room.

as for hyunjin, he walked over to seungmin who was holding mimi and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. the younger knew just by the simple act of his shivering lips on his face, that he was really upset. "we can go home if you'd like"

"it's alright, i want you to have fun. don't worry about me. i'll just watch the baby while you hang out."

"are you sure?"

"yeah, i can't just run away from my problems anymore...especially if we're going to his house. i need to show him and prove to him i'm a better person now."

—

(a/n: shirtless chan took over the tl within fucking seconds lmfaooo👀 and hi i'm ungrounded for those of u who read gamer boy. i'm also officially off probation so i might be able to update more frequently now‼️😝)