[1] 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐃𝐎𝐌 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄 ― p.jackson ✓

009.

「009. space girl~ oh shit is that a monster? 」

CADIE WAS having a rough time. not unexpected, not really. she had a terrible habit of over-analyzing everything even if it wasn't the sort of smart thing to overthink about... like a maths question or something (mainly because she never thought about stuff like that. because: ew). she had the tendency to overthink about everything and every action leading up to something, and she carried way too many regrets. when percy had gotten annoyed with her for getting on the quest? she'd somehow come to the conclusion by herself that percy now hated her- and she was wallowing in self pity in the back of the van now. zoë was up front driving, which cadie was oddly glad about. she couldn't deal with the staring from the hunter now. thalia was right next to her, which probably wasn't helping. the two were bickering so much cadie had thought half-way through if it would have been better if zoë had been staring at her.

bianca was nervously behind zoë, checking over once in a while- whispering quietly to zoë. and grover? grover was doing what grover did best: worry. which left cadie to her own thoughts- a dangerous little combination of actions.

she hadn't had much time to talk to any of her friends before she left. cam had been busy, but had wished her the best of luck (which was something good, at least). lilly acted happy for cadie- saying no hard feelings and she was proud of her. but cadie could tell they were a little bitter and upset zoë had kicked them off. and rightly so, it was a dick move by zoë. she just kicked lilly off without a second thought- it would've majorly hurt cadie's feelings if that had ever happened to her, especially since caide knew the circumstances behind lilly's reasoning to go.

and percy... well, cadie glanced down at her shoes and glared at them. he'd made it pretty clear how he felt.

and it sucked.

she didn't like it when people didn't like her, that was just a general thing though. she hated it when people disliked her- because as antisocial as she was, she was pretty much a people pleaser most of the time. she liked people having neutral or positive emotions towards her. and she liked her friends liking her. so when percy had said that comment- it probably wasn't meant to be deep, maybe it was- but she hated it.

she'd idolised the guy since he came to camp. she knew way too much about him. his full name for starts, his birthday, his favourite colour- she knew what happened on his quests. cam and lilly used to call her a fangirl before they adapted some sort of dumb idea that she had a crush on him. she knew too much about him.

and then- yeah, maybe she had a less golden sort of version of him now. but they were friends. for one, she never really argued with her friends. she was an anxious person and arguments never really went as far as insults and wishing to never see people again.

but the thing was percy hadn't even said that either. but just the idea of him not wanting to be friends with her... it sucked- a lot. and she didn't like the idea... scratch that, she hated the idea way too much. the thought of him ignoring her, going back to not knowing her- she dreaded it.

how pathetic, she grumbled to herself as they continued to drive on, he's just a guy, cadie! just a guy! he's-

somebody you're in love with, chorused imaginary annabeth (cadie really needed to get her sub-consciousness checked out. what was with all her friends in her mind telling her lies?).

cadie decided she didn't like her mind very quickly. she'd logically thought through the idea of liking somebody when she was twelve and had quickly decided that would be too much pain for her to handle. she didn't know what she was on when she was twelve, what wisdom juice she'd been chugging- but her twelve-year-old self had said not to fall in love with anybody. because there were real problems with that, real and very valid problems.