Journey For Trust (Vigilante Deku)

Chapter Ten: Balancing Trust

Izuku dashed out of the shop. Now what? Surrounded by people, frightful tears glazed over his emerald eyes. Stampedes of emotions stomped upon his heart. Each accidental stare sent shivers of shame trickling down his spine. Crap. Not in front of so many people. Seriously, how pathetic can he be? On the verge of a panic attack in front of so many damn people. Did he look weird? Was he standing out? Why couldn't he just disappear? Why couldn't everyone else disappear!? Why was he just standing there!?

Izuku bolted behind the yarn shop, escaping everyone else. Alone. His vision became hazy. "Stop, stop, stop," he begged, getting hopelessly more quiet each time. He shouldn't cry. He cries every damn time. Why was he so damn weak?! It was his fault Yui betrayed him, right? He has no right to cry or have a panic attack. Though he kept repeating that in his head, it didn't protect him from it in the slightest. Izuku slammed his eyes shut, preventing watery trails from running down his cheeks. For all he knew, he could've hurt Yui the same way he hurt his mother. Infecting her with his disgusting disease of worthless sorrow. He was a terrible person. How could he ever think that he had the right to borrow Yui's help? To think he wasn't just an annoyance to Yui? To think he had a friend?

Blunt pain flipped in his stomach at the thought. It only added to the weight of his guilt filled tears. Shivers and shakes slithered across Izuku's body. He brought himself to his knees, familiar to the sensation before disposing the contents of his stomach. A jolt of shock ran down on him. He was gagging, but nothing came out. Nor in. Desperately inhaling, bringing in absolutely no air. Suffocating. Was he being choked by his own throat?! What the hell?! Was he dying?!

Only weak wimpers escaped the deadly grasp of his throat. His stomach continued to roil intune of the gags pleading for air. The force of the throbs increased with futile breath.

After a miserably gruesome few minutes, the aching thumps ceased as his throat relaxed. With the pleas for air finally being answered, Izuku's unknowingly flexed knees and elbows gave out from under him. Once his lungs calmed down, he simply laid there, processing what just happened. Did he try to throw up, but didn't have anything to throw up? Dry heaving. Incredibly painful dry heaving.

He should eat something. If he had the choice (which he technically did), he'd rather throw up instead. Izuku sat up and whipped the mix of tears and drool off his face. In front of him was the back of another building, and another, leading into one of the many places to enter the maze of alleyways. The same maze of alleyways where he failed to save the Sludge Villain. Izuku should start trying to find him and Yua. Thankfully, he subconsciously brought the plastic bag with the yarn and needle he bought instead of dropping or leaving it in the store. Izuku picked it up and began walking home.

The yarn and needle he bought. Nervousness pricked at his abdomen. He used his father's cash. Izuku only used 1000 yen (about $10 USD), and made a silent promise to pay it back when he had the chance, but he still took it without asking. Two or so years ago, he borrowed even less cash to pay for a school lunch. He shivered at the memory of his father waiting for him to come home at the door. If he was seriously injured, what would he do? Where would he go? He couldn't afford a hospital visit, and Yui obviously doesn't want anything to do with him anymore. He shouldn't complain about that. It was his fault anyway. He was a terrible friend to her, right?

Izuku sighed. Whatever punishment was waiting for him was one he deserved. One he was willing to take for Deku. He needed the yarn to repair his tracksuit, as the front had been torn when the Sludge Villain threw him and the back was ripped by glass. Blood had also stained more of it around the torso. He could use hydrogen peroxide to get that out, but he would feel terrible taking that much money to afford it from his father. Izuku nervously turned the doorknob.