letters to them . . .

to the person whose strength I admire

To the person whose strength I admire

I have to start this by saying I honestly don't know how you do it. And of course by saying sorry. The first one because how can one be so involved in so many things and finish all the work and have great grades and do so much in their day and have such amazing goals. The second is because I often feel I use you or that you may get the impression of that and honestly as bad as it sounds I have and that's something I'm working on.

I can't promise you that suddenly all of my annoyingness will go away and that I'll start doing all my work and that I can be simply just your friend, not one more friend who asks you for your work. I can however promise you that I will try, try harder at school, try harder to understand you, to be there for you, to be a better friend no matter how far away you go or if you decide to stay. I understand you must be under a ridiculous amount of stress, and no one can blame you for that. You said it yourself you aren't afraid to tell us that your anxiety was getting worse and was something you were dealing with along with your therapist. I truly just hope that whatever you choose you are happy and I would say successful but we both know that you'll put your everything into your passions and that's something admirable about you.

I should also mention that no matter how annoying you sometimes may be, it's also amazing how open you are about things, even if you have a short fuse about certain topics and may seem childish there is a certainty and constant in you and that is your strength both emotional and what I'd like to assume is physical. You have once and again offered your support when times were hard and I don't think you understand how much just a simple "I'm here for you" means to me. One day I hope that you can trust me and truly realize that anything you may need I'm here for you even if I'm not your therapist you can truly count on me.

Obviously, I must mention how grateful I am for everything you've done for me school wise and I know that it must be annoying but you've saved my ass countless times. Moving on though, I hope that you are okay and aren't going through some shitty quarantine breakdown or that nothing bad happens to you.

Just to end this I know I haven't been the best friend but I can try and if you ever feel bad about something I've said or done tell me so I can become a better person and friend for you. If you do decide to leave, however, I understand of course and I wish you nothing but the best and know that I trust you will do great things with whatever you choose later in life and you will make a change or impact on this shitty planet because you, you are unstoppable and one of the smartest and most dedicated people I know, and even if you can't change the world you will change everyone around you to help you make a positive change because you can inspire those around you and make your life and everyone else's life brighter.

Love, your history partner