Whirlwind Quells the Flames (Rancho dela Roca Series #1)

Chapter 11

Ride Home

"Turns out, you're too pure for people's misjudgments."

Umihip ang mabinhing hangin. Tila tumigil ang oras para sa akin. Umawang ang aking labi habang nakatitig sa kanya, hindi akalaing maririnig sa kanya ang mga salitang iyon. Ilang sandaling nakaawang ang aking mga labi, gustuhin mang sumagot ay hindi makahanap ng mga salita.

It felt mesmerizing to hear that from him. 

The thing about living in a small town where everybody knows you, or where everybody thinks they know you, is that you aren't allowed to grow up. To change... or to evolve into a different version of yourself. No matter how much time passes, they will always see you for a version of yourself you've long outgrown. 

Something always holds you back. You cannot fully grow. 

I've learned so much from all my shenanigans back in high school. I've grown so much from that version of myself, yet I always feel I'm sucked back to a mold I no longer fit. When I tried to change for the better, I was shamed... and mocked... for it. I was judged for an old version of myself, and I was ridiculed for the person I'm trying to be. 

So... to hear that from someone... from Gideon, of all people... felt quite reassuring. 

Ang mga tuyong dahon mula sa mga puno ay unti-unting nagsihulugan kasabay ng malamyos na simoy ng hangin. I stared at his brown eyes, as he did with mine, with his gaze just a little more tensed.

Mariin siyang pumikit at bahagyang yumuko, tila nahihirapan ding humanap ng mga salita. He sighed heavily before he looked back at me.

"What I'm trying to say is that... I was bothered that you immediately assumed I wouldn't believe you. I may be an asshole but I don't take those kind of things lightly."

Huminga ako nang malalim at tumango.

"But then, I also can't blame you. I mistreated you and said so many hurtful words to you. I'm sorry." 

"Kagaya ng sabi ko, wala na 'yon, Gideon. You did your part and it made me feel safer. 'Tsaka... kung ibang tao rin ang nakakita sa amin doon, alam kong pareho ng reaksyon mo ang magiging reaksyon nila-"

He groaned, frustrated. "Why? Because people thinks you're lewd and outgoing?"

I pursed my lips.

"This shit won't let me sleep for days now. It really bothered me that you think no one will believe you just because people misjudge you."

"How sure are you what others are saying are just misjudgments?" I smiled bitterly. 

Umawang ang labi niya habang nakatitig sa akin.

"Baka tama sila? Malandi ako. Hindi ka ba nagtaka kung bakit kaming dalawa lang ang naroon sa lugar na 'yon? Did your opinion of me really changed or are you just guilty? Are you really concerned about me or are you just cleaning your hands?" sunod-sunod kong tanong, hindi na napigilan ang bugso ng damdamin.

Hindi siya agad nakapagsalita. I smiled more.

If he changes his opinion of me, I want it to happen because he really believed I didn't deserve it. Not just because he wants to come out clean.

"I'm not trying to clean my hands. I am just really sorry for misjudging you and immediately taking what I saw to another context just because of my impression about you."

Ramdam at kita ko ang hirap sa kanya. He looks frustrated. 

Tipid akong ngumiti. "Kagaya ng sabi ko, hindi ako marunong magkimkim ng galit. Ayos na 'yon. At... salamat din sa sakripisyong ginawa mo para mapatalsik si Jomar sa rancho."