Ch. 4: Star

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Ako si Eunice Bianca Alcantara. I am 27 years old.

Nagtatrabaho ako bilang Managing Editor ng Style magazine. Ang Style Magazine ang pinakasikat na fashion and lifestyle magazine in the country.

Walang anak si Ma'am Andie, ang Chairman at Editor-in-chief ng Style at wala na din siyang mga close relatives. So, nang makita niya ang isang enthusiastic at passionate young writer na katulad ko, tinulungan niya agad ako. And after many years working with her, Ma'am Andie decided that she wanted me to be the heir of the company. But in one condition, kailangan ko daw muna makasal.

Nagulat ako kasi kahit hindi niya ako kadugo. Parang anak na rin ang turing niya sa akin. At kahit hindi pa ako ikinakasal, it's no big deal kasi at least, being the Managing Editor, I got a stable job na malaki pa rin ang sweldo.

Many people says they're jealous of my life. A perfect life--beautiful face, gorgeous body, nice house, fast car, future big company inheritance, stable job and a nice background. Perfect. Ito daw ang makakapagdescribe sa akin. "The most eligible bachelorette in town", that's what they call me. Swerte nga daw ang mapapangasawa ko kasi wala na silang ibang hahanapin pa.

Pero hindi nila alam may isang parte ng buhay ko ang hindi maayos.

My lovelife is epic fail.

27 na ako pero wala pa rin akong nahahanap na magmamahal sa akin ng totoo. Where did I go wrong?

So I tried to be in relationships as possible. Marami na akong naging boyfriends. Wala namang mawawala kung magmamahal tayo 'di ba? Pero nauuwi lang naman sa hiwalayan lahat. That's why many people think that I am a typical socialite brat girl who roams around making boyfriends left and right. But they are so wrong. Hindi nila alam na hindi ako naglalaro. I'm not in a relationship just for fun but I'm in for love.

"One day you'll meet your match. That one person who will make you believe that there is such a thing called love. You'll sleep with his face in your mind and will wake up wanting to see that face again. He'll make you feel confusing but pleasant feelings, like butterflies in your stomach. You'll feel great happiness every time you see him smiling or even just merely looking at him. It's like your heart is taking control over your mind and body. And you'll be willing to do and sacrifice anything in the world, just to make him happy."

Ito ang sabi ng nanay ko.

At dahil dito, I've always believe in love-- true love.

So, I always try to find my true love.

And aaminin ko, I'm a "hopeless romantic" who believes that we shouldn't be afraid to love, be heartbroken and love again. So, sure enough sa mga sinabi ko, I had loved many guys and been heartbroken so many times in my search for my "Mr. Right". Pero I guess, I watched too much drama on T.V. kaya I always find "Mr. Left" instead.

"Here's your coffee, ma'am."

"Thanks."

I smiled sa poging waiter that brought this coffee to my table. Pagkatapos ng work, I would always visit my favorite restaurant.

I'm sitting here in my favorite spot near the big glass window of this shop. Alone, as usual, observing people outside.

It's been three weeks since our break up and I'm doing fine. Alam ko that I'm doing my little steps in moving on. I don't want to talk, think and care about him anymore--even my friends are sensitive enough not to even mention his name anymore.

So here am I, having coffee while watching people walking under the cold weather of November. It became a habit for me to spend my free time here. Ayokong nag-iisa sa bahay. Lalo lang ako malulungkot.

I picked up the coffee and smelled it's aroma. I smiled and took a tiny sip of it.

Suddenly, tumunog yung chimes ng resto. Napatingin ako sa may pintuan dahil isa lang naman ang ibig sabihin noon, may pumasok sa loob. Medyo walang tao sa loob ng resto at dahil sa wala naman akong magawa, why would I not check out kung sino ang dumating 'di ba? Malay mo, gwapo yun. Hehehe.

Pero biglang nanlaki ang mga mata ko.

Gwapo naman yung dumating pero ampupu lang naman! Si Paolo! At take note, kasama niya si Bernice.

Kung nagtatanong kayo kung sino si Bernice. Well, magkaklase kami simula grade school hanggang college at oo, friends kami. Pero dati na yun. She ditched me to have more popular and richer friends. We are also rivals in academics at sa madami pang mga bagay. So in short, we're estranged-bestfriends-turned-into-great-rivals. Malaki ata galit nito sa akin eh!

"Oh, look who's here!", my trance was shattered by that Bernice's voice.

Nagulat din si Paolo nang makita niya ako.

"It's Eubi! My EX-BESTFRIEND and your...EX-GIRLFRIEND," Bernice said, emphasizing those two words.

Ex.

Ang sakit. It's like rubbing salt to my open wounds.

Sa dinami-dami ng mga babaeng ipagpapalit mo sa akin, bakit si Bernice pa?!

"Oh, Eubi nagulat ka ba? I think Paolo made the right decision because he found a better one," she said, smirking.

I want to punch that thick face of hers! Gusto ko siyang sumbatan at sigawan. And so, kung napunta sa kanya si Paolo?! Wala akong pake!

Pero ang nakakainis dun, wala akong magawa. Ang dami kong gustong gawin pero hindi gumagalaw ang katawan ko. Nakatingin lang ako sa kanila. I just felt numb.

"Eub--"

Paolo was cut off by Bernice, "So, if you would excuse us, we still have OUR DATE. Let's go, Paoie." She said those and emphasized that two words.

Paoie.

Dati-rati ako lang ang tumatawag sa kanya ng ganoon. Pero masakit pala na malaman na isang araw, hindi na ikaw. Bigla na lang. It's like a truck speeding at 150 kph hit me without a warning.

Nakakainis man ay wala akong nagawa. I grabbed my bag and walked away from them without a word. Ang pathetic ko di ba? Pero it's really the sad truth. Kailangan kong umalis sa lugar na iyon before I brakedown and cry like a pathetic mad woman.

I am walking aimlessly on the streets for hours. I didn't know that my heart could break anymore than it has for the past three weeks but seeing that scene, my ex and my number one rival, my heart once more ached for the one that doesn't love me anymore.

Nakarating na ako sa bahay. I didn't bothered to open the lights anymore.

I went straight to my room. When the door closed, I immediately slumped on the floor. I can no longer able to hold onto my tears anymore. I just let them all out. Hot tears are falling out of eyes.

I am crying over that jerk.

Once again.

I stood by the window of my room. I stood there crying, letting my heart out and letting out my bottled feelings.

I am tired of fooling everyone and even myself that I am okay.

Umiyak ako nang umiyak hanggang sa wala na akong luhang maiiyak pa.

Sana hindi na lang si Paolo...

I wish I loved someone else...

Yung taong hindi ako sasaktan...

I wish magkaroon na lang ako ng isang trophy boyfriend...

Yung boyfriend na kaiinggitan ni Paolo...

Yung maipagmamalaki ko sa lahat...

Yung boyfriend na mamahalin ako ng totoo...

Hindi alam ni Eubi na noong gabi palang iyon magaganap yung lunar eclipse.

And a shooting star happened to pass by.

I wish...

I have a perfect boyfriend...

Soon, Eubi cried herself to sleep mumbling her pain and wishes to the cold air of the night.

100 Days with my Perfect BoyfriendTahanan ng mga kuwento. Tumuklas ngayon