When the Roses Went Black: The Lost Lover of Sirius Black

XXXVIII

Sirius fluttered awake one January night in 1981. It was one of the few nights in the longest time he had been resting peacefully, and he found himself very annoyed that it had been shortened.

As he gained alertness, the heavy scent of lilacs rushed right into his nose, hitting him off guard. He hadn't smelled lilacs that heavily since Rose laid next to him in what seemed like an eternity ago. Dismissing it as just being tired, Sirius attempted to go back to sleep. He had barely shut his eyes when a cold breeze rippled across the room. Sirius sat up and looked at the window: It was closed. "What the hell.." he muttered. It was a moment before he noticed a small glowing orb hovering at the foot of the bed. Sitting up straighter, Sirius reached for his wand, holding it tightly. The orb continued to grow and began to take shape. An oddly familiar shape, one that Sirius had memorized every inch of.

  The bright figure warped and changed until it took the complete form of a human.. but not just any human. Rose stood at the foot of Sirius's bed, looking down at him with a kind smile.

She wore a white v-neck shirt, leather jacket, and a red, white, and black checkered skirt, much like she wore in her Hogwarts days. Her rose necklace, wedding ring, and gold bracelet shone particularly bright, casting streaking light across the room. She looked so- real. She was surrounded by dim golden light, reminding Sirius painfully of an angel.

His angel.

He gaped at her, unable to say a word. She sat down at the edge of the bed. "Hey Black." Rose said calmly, as though she just saw him yesterday. Sirius's mouth hung open and his eyes were wide in disbelief. "Oh don't look at me like that Sirius," she chuckled. "Rose.. it's.." "Yes love, it's me," she finished. "How did you.." Sirius stammered. "Well the Big Guy allows for one special trip, and I figured this was urgent." Her kind smile faltered into a sad one.

"Sirius.. I've been watching you after.. everything. And I miss you more than words, Heaven knows I do. Believe me, I talk to the people up there all the time about you." Rose smiled, but then it fell and she began again. "But love.. how you're handling this.. it isn't right. There's so much to live for, far beyond what you're doing right now. And the cutting? Really Sirius?" Rose seemed so bewildered at her lover's pain, hurt dancing all over her glowing face.

Sirius shook his head and looked down. "I just miss you so much Rose.. everywhere I look I get reminded of you, and that I don't have you anymore. Every fiber of being has been cut down without you, and every day just loses its meaning.." "Hey now," Rose answered sternly. She inched over to grab Sirius's hand, causing him to meet her gaze. His hand felt warm as it glowed from the light of Rose's own. "You are stronger than what you know, Sirius Black. That's the man I fell in love with, and that's the man you are. I'm never far, and you are never alone. But I need you to keep living. This world- this life- it has too much out there for you to not take advantage of it." Rose shook Sirius's hand as she spoke, her words so full of determination and fire, just as they had been in life.

Sirius was overwhelmed, and frantic tears began to stream down his face. "But Rose," he choked. "How can I keep this strength without you here beside me?" Rose came closer to him and smiled. "Sirius, my love. The ones that love us never really leave us." She brought her thin hand to his chest. "You can always find them. They're in here, you see." Sirius leaned forward and held Rose, the only thing he had been wanting to do for the past month. He felt nothing but a warm, dense energy, nothing like the soft flesh he longed to feel once more. Nonetheless Sirius held Rose. He cried into her, like he had so many times before. Rose rubbed his back and softly shushed him. "I love you Rose," he said, all the passion in his being unable to come through in how much he meant the words. "I love you too Sirius," she replied, just as sure as always.

Suddenly, she pulled away. "I have to be going Sirius. I think it's time for you to live." Rose stood up from the bed and walked over to the foot of it again. "I better not be seeing you up here anytime soon Black," she said with a smile. Sirius sighed, and smiled his first true smile since December 17th. "Forever Rosie," he said. Rose smiled and nodded at her lover. "Forever Black." The light around her grew into a blaze brighter than the sun, and with a whip of cold wind, Rose was gone.

The next morning, Sirius felt as though a giant weight had been lifted from his soul. He could breathe again, finally not being suffocated by his own sorrow. The thick cloud cover that hung above him for the past month had broken, and the sunlight filtered in once more. He sat up in bed and recollected on the images that flashed before his mind. He was positive it had been a dream. Smiling and shaking his head, Sirius rose from the bed and started to head to the bathroom.

Yes, Sirius Black thought it had been a dream. That was until right before he walked out of the room, something caught his eye.

  A single rose petal lay at the foot of the bed. Sighing with a small smile, Sirius picked it up, kissed it, and held it close to his chest. Though stripped from his life so cruelly, the petals his darling Rose left behind would forever flutter in his heart, constantly in bloom, and never ever wilting.