The Comfort of No one

Chapter Three: The Apple Doesn't Fall Far from the Tree

Chapter Three: The Apple Doesn't Fall Far from the Tree
"Would Noah remember any of the awful things he put you and Hope threw?" Dr. Salvador asked.
"Not all the time. I mean he would remember enough to apologize the next morning but not enough to actually understand what went on the night before. The hallucinations that the angel dust gave Noah were awful. He wasn't the same person when he was going through a trip and I had no idea who I was facing. Hope and Noah's relationships started to fade. They used to be two peas in a pod." I said
"How did Hope deal with the constant traumatizing moments your family had?"
"At first she would get over it and think it wasn't a big deal but after a while she avoided being near everyone. I noticed she was quiet more and stayed in her room a lot."
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ "Hope you've been in your room all day, go outside its nice out." I said
"No thanks mom I think I'll just stay in my room watching TV" Hope replied
"Okay Hope."
I didn't bother make her go outside. I didn't make her do anything she didn't want to do to try and make her life a little easier by not bugging her. Later that night me and Noah had our alone time. I was singing and dancing with the true Noah Johnson that I fell in love with. He made us both amazing chicken pot pies and we cuddled and watched The Note Book together. At 11:00pm we went to bed and stayed up talking.
"I want you to get better Noah" I said.
"I want to get better too Addison, I haven't done drugs for almost a week baby I'm really trying to do better." Noah responded
"Noah that's good I am so proud of you sweetheart."
"I am trying my hardest for this family."
"What does it even feel like when you do angel dust?" I asked
"To be honest I don't always remember how I feel but I do remember the hallucinations are the most unreal things in the world and when I'm walking and talking I feel like everything is spinning and that everything is all made up. I don't really know how to explain the feeling but I do know that when I'm stressed out and I do PCP, I enter a whole new world."
"Noah you aren't yourself when you're on drugs. You turn into a monster and you abuse me and Hope and yell at us."
"I know."
"You know but you do it anyways?"
"I don't do it because I want to, I do it because I don't know what I'm doing and sometimes I get scared and want to leave my hallucination, but I can't"
"Then why do you continuously do it if you get scared Noah?"
"I don't know Addison. For some reason I feel lost if I don't do PCP. I feel like it has become a part of me."
"Noah, remember when your mom abused drugs and abused you and Andrew? You hated your life and your mom for treating you like that. You would always come to my place to stay away from her. You told me when you had kids you were going to make their life better than you and Andrews life, and now look at where you are now. You grew up to be exactly what your mother was and you're putting me and Hope threw the same hell you and Andrew had to go through."
Noah didn't respond right away. He just stared at me with a sad look on his face. Then he finally said "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree does it? Goodnight Addison." I didn't say anything back to that and I just lied there starring at the wall for an hour thinking until I finally fell asleep.
The next day was a good one; those didn't come very often these days. I think we had a whole week of happiness, things were getting back to normal, I actually felt like I wasn't alone anymore. Someone was there for me, to help me and not hurt me, someone cared. The week was one of the best of my life. Drugs were absent in our home and the real Noah was present. I felt as if I was a little girl again, feeling butterflies with every kiss. We would lie down and cuddle all day, us two against the world. I could feel his eyelashes kiss my skin. He was the most handsome man during that week. Without the drugs you could see the real him, his real skin, his beautiful bright blue eyes. I smelt what he truly smelt like, what he really tasted like. I felt his skin against mine. I thought everything was going back to normal until I came home from a night out with Rachel and saw Hope crying on the floor and Noah passed out on the couch. I asked her what happened and she said "Daddy took more bad things and freaked out on me because I was born and he kept hitting me and told me to stay in the corner until I realized how much of a mistake I was."