"So let's hear a little more about you, what was going on in your head during this time." Said Dr. Salvador.
"My feelings weren't important, I wasn't a part of the family at this point in time, and I was in my own world." I replied.
"Of course they are important, this is your story isn't it?"
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Darkness became my home and nothing made me happy anymore. I started self-harming and I know that everyone has a different reason to cut. Mine was to be able to feel something while I was numb to everything. My feelings and emotions were buried so deep inside that I couldn't feel them. Crying was very rare so when it happened, I was grateful for a relief. I cut deeper and deeper every time hoping maybe it would hurt more, but eventually, I even became numb to that pain.
I had razors lying everywhere in the house, I wasn't in the business of hiding what was going on, and it's not like Noah really cared what I did to myself. I don't know what I did to make him hate me so much. Was I really that ugly, that worthless? Did I do something to make him not want me anymore? He didn't even give me an explanation to why he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He no longer felt the way he used to about me. The worst part was that I still cared about him so much, that I still wanted him.
Hope got into my razors and I couldn't see why she would cut, I thought that her physical pain must have definitely surpassed her emotional pain. Now that I think about it, I think that for once she just wanted control over her pain and I didn't stop her. Who was I to say something to her, when I was doing the same exact thing?
I don't know what got into me. What went so wrong? How did I turn into such a monster? I could ask these questions all day long, but I don't think I will ever get the answers.
Poor Hope had a drug addict dad and a mother who didn't show she cared. I didn't have the strength anymore to save Hope and I hate myself for that. Noah ended up quitting his job and laid around the house most of the time. I had to work long hours and almost every day to support for all us but I didn't care because the longer I stayed away from that house, the happier I felt. Noah continued doing drugs and Hope always stayed cooped up in her room and sometimes she would miss days of school causing the school to call the house constantly. Our household became one big psychotic mess and nobody did anything to fix it nor did anyone care.
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The Comfort of No one
Short StoryNoah Johnson is a sweet guy that cares for his girlfriend Addison and his daughter Hope but unfortunately he abused PCP also known as Angel Dust. Addison struggled for many years trying to save herself and Hope but she failed. She became numb to her...
