[ jeamus ] confused about it

Chapter 7: { We're Done? }

[ James PoV ]

I knocked once, shaking and gritting my teeth as wind brushed through them. Again, I knocked. Nothing. "Seamus..come on.." I rocked on my heels, biting my nails and knocking once more. Finally, the door unlocking was heard and quick running away upstairs soon followed. I opened the door gently, poking my head in and letting myself in. "Um..Seamus..?" I mumbled, walking upstairs. "Are you alright..?" I opened his door to see him wrapping his arm in a roughly cut hoodie sleeve. "J-James!" He snapped around, pushing me back and closing the door. My eyes were too focused on him to see anything else; why? "What the fuck?! I let you in, and you-you decide to just casually stroll into my room free nilly-willy!" He yelled, grunting and sighing deeply. I backed away, fiddling with my thumbs and waiting. "I-I'm..I'm sorry.." I murmured, running my fingers through my hair and tugging at it softly. The door swung open, and he wrapped his arms around me.

"Look, I'm sorry..I'm just experiencing hard times and I just need a hug from you.." I felt pity for him; I immediately hugged him and pulled him close. He sniffed, smiling in content with a sweet hum. "Dude, don't smell me! I'm not a scratch-n-sniff sticker!" I teased, kissing his neck and resting my chin on his shoulder. "God damnit you're so cute Seamus.." He let out a small giggle, and pulled my head up. "Eh, runs in the blood.." I glanced at his arm, and gently grabbed it, smiling and sighing. "Well..eh..You mind telling me how deep?" I asked, his face turning an embarrassing red and looking away. "W-What?! What do you mean..?" I tilted my head, and suddenly dropped my smile. "N-No! Not that way Seamus!" I laughed under my breath, biting my lip nervously and whispering, "I mean your cuts..?" He laughed back, in relief, and shrugged. "Not that bad..like a cat scratch.." Lies. "You're lying, Seamus" He snapped his eyes to meet mine, pulling his arm away and untying the cloth. "Hm? Am I?" He showed them off, and I tugged him by his arm closer to me. "That's not deep, but that's a deep red.." He pulled away again, and tied it again. "Okay fine! I did, so what?! What does it mean to you?!" He snapped, grunting again and slamming his door shut. "Oh, please! I fucking care about you!" I yelled back, growling. "Why don't you come back with good lies this time..because.." I gulped, shaking my head.

"We're done!"

[ Seamus PoV ]

D-Done?! As in..friends? Boyfriends? No..no James!

I ripped open the door, rushing down the stairs and grabbing his shoulder. "No! No please..you're so much more..than just.." I couldn't find words, I was about to cry and I wanted to. "Seamus, stop" He shrugged my hand off, and left me there in a teary mess. "F-Fine..b-be that way.." I slugged upstairs, dragging myself up and rubbing my eyes. I closed my bedroom door and flopped onto it, finally crying. "Ech, you're gross Seamus.." It spoke, and hissed at me. "Oh shut up Deb!" I yelled, staring at this demon beside me. It laughed, running its thin fingers along my chin. "You miss Jamie-Wamie, but you're too much of a fool to go after him!" It pushed my chin up, sending me to flop onto my back. I growled, scurrying under the covers and curling up. "You know, I really hate you, depression.." I spat, shunning it away but it kept coming back. "Oh Sea-Sea, c'mon, get out of bed and give yourself a nice relaxation with your sharp pal-" "Get the fuck away!" I yelled, hiding my body under the sheets and closing my eyes tightly shut. "Oh please, you love me!" Deb spat, disappearing into dust and finally leaving me in my sad state.

I'm sorry James..I didn't..mean to..

I got up, rushing towards the bathroom and opening the cabinet. I grabbed the sleeping pills, immediately getting black spots in my eyes. "For..for you.." I placed them on the counter, filled a cup with water and closed the door. I rushed, grabbing my laptop and placing it onto my bed. I called James via Skype and waited, until I heard his voice ring through my ears.

"Yeah?"