Dirty Little Game ♠ Professor Lupin

Five: The Caring Girl

The evening I spent with Lupin turned out to be surprisingly enjoyable. I didn't even know how much time I spent there, except that when I entered my dormitory, all the girls were already sleeping. Given it was Saturday, I had to come back really late. Lupin didn't rush me, nor did he say anything that would suggest ending my visit.

When he realized I wasn't a tea fan, he decided to surprise me with hot chocolate. I never say no to sweets. Sipping our drinks, we talked about all sorts of things. Whenever a topic was too personal for me, he tactfully changed the subject. I didn't feel like I was talking to a teacher. Hell, could you imagine any other professor instead of him? No way.

Proud of my performance, I told my friends. I didn't tell them everything, of course. I kept the details to myself. Jaylee predicted that with such a pace we certainly could get him out of school before Christmas. Brook complained we would rather start a club for old sad losers than have an affair. Wilton, by contrast, was oddly quiet.

"So you spend the evening together in his private rooms simply chatting?" Brook said incredulously. She was curling a strand of her black hair around her finger, clearly not impressed.

"You don't have any intuition." I shook my head, laughing. "He's not the kind to be entranced by a plunging neckline. I need to build some sort of connection with him first."

"Your folks are right, you'll make a wonderful medical." She said in a sweet little voice. "Consider St Mungo's. You're a natural in this... psychological thing."

I stuck my tongue out at her in reaction.

"Ethel is doing really well, no joke." Jaylee came to my rescue. "I expected it to be more difficult."

"Don't speak too soon, we'll see how she goes." commented Wilton lying stretched out on the couch with his head on my lap.

"Ye of little faith." I grunted and snapped a finger at his nose.

"Oi! I have nothing against you, I'm just waiting for you to kiss." He closed his eyes and puffed out his lips as if he was making out with someone.

"You'll be the first to know." I promised, rolling my eyes. What a big child he was.

I was trying to find a balance between my social life, studying and my secret project. I expected it to be the most difficult to get his attention, but I was wrong. Developing this relationship was far more complicated.

Meeting Lupin somewhere in the castle, I wasn't limited to coy smiles anymore. I wasn't shy and I wanted to show it to him. I wanted him to feel encouraged. I always greeted him with a big smile, sometimes touching his shoulder in passing, sometimes winking when there weren't many people around. In his lessons, I was focused, watching him. He's caught me hundreds of times and it seemed as he was starting to look my way more often, too.

One day Snape entered the room instead of him. It felt like someone had poured a bucket of cold water over my head. Instead of a friendly face, there was a hideous, snappy man who didn't fit this classroom at all.

When he said Lupin had fallen ill, I started to wonder. Should I visit him? Should I check if he's okay? It would make me a caring girl. Lupin looked like a guy who liked sweet, caring girls.

But when I knocked on the classroom door and then the door to his quarters, I was greeted by silence. As I put my ear to the door, I heard nothing, not even the rustle of a blanket under which he could lie, or the crackle of wood being devoured by the fire. I figured he might have been so seriously ill that he was lying in the hospital wing, but there was no option for me to go there. I didn't want to create unnecessary suspicions.

I saw him the next day, at the least appropriate moment.

"You're sneaking out after the curfew. Again." He said when he noticed me.

In panic, I hid a suddenly too large bottle under my cloak, hoping he wouldn't notice anything. "I couldn't resist it. Breaking the rules is so exciting."

He laughed briefly, a little harshly. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing. I mean, going straight to the dungeons and the common room."

In the dark, I couldn't tell exactly what he was doing. Maybe he was looking at me, maybe laughing at me, I didn't know. "I'll rephrase. What was your reason for leaving?"

I squeezed the hidden bottle even tighter. "I needed some time on my own." I lied smoothly.

"You know I can't let you do this anymore. Sirius Black is somewhere out there." He stepped closer and I could see more than just the outline of his figure. He looked terrible, to be honest. He looked like he was still sick. His skin was sallow, with distinct dark bags under his eyes. It was obvious he should be in bed, not patrolling the castle.

"Professor Snape told us you were sick." I said, looking at him. He looked away. "Are you sure you've recovered enough to be on duty today?"

Either I imagined it, or for a second there was a hint of a smile on his lips. "Don't worry about me, darling. Health gets worse with age."

"Tell it to the headmaster. I don't think he knows that." I joked, earning a short laugh from him. Even then, he looked exhausted. I figured this was a good time to confess. "I came to see you yesterday."

"You did?" He tensed and then cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear anything, I was probably asleep."

I smiled warmly. At least I tried so, I didn't have much experience. "It's all right, I just wanted to see how you were doing."

"That's sweet of you, but I can assure you it's nothing." He said, smiling back.

Don't try those tricks on me, I thought. You can't lie to someone who knows all about it. "It doesn't look like nothing."

"Well, thank you very much for pointing out I don't look as dashing as I normally do." He mumbled, trying to make it sound humorous.

I've been waiting for such an opportunity for a long time. I cocked my head, as if wondering about something. "No, even sick you look quite dashing."

He stared at me in bewilderment. He pursed his lips into a narrow line, blinked several times. He looked confused as I stood in front of him, confident of my words. Time seemed to be pouring out between our fingers.

"Ethelyn, you shouldn't be saying that." was all he said.

"You don't want me to say it or rather you don't want someone else to overhear it?" I asked, getting even closer.

Lupin was stressed. He did make eye contact with me, but he was like rooted to the floor. I saw his jaw tense as I stood beside him, so close I almost touched him. He bowed his head to look at me. He was clearly too afraid to do anything.

"Let's talk when you get better." I said, smiling cheekily and walked slowly towards the dungeons, leaving him behind.