Patience//BILLIE EILISH

one

I am laying in bed, watching a movie and the subtitles are so fucking horrible. They don't convey any atmosphere for the movie and I have to keep triple checking who's talking. They are obviously auto-generated, as half of the sentences don't make sense.

"(Music Plays)" I read.

I groan and flip off the TV, shutting it off and getting up.

I am kind of hungry, so I head to the kitchen for some takis. I open the cupboard, and you won't believe what I see.

No takis. I ate them all!

I am so not in the mood to go to the store and haphazardly converse with a confused cashier, but I really want takis. I will do many things to get my hands on good food.

It shouldn't be that bad. After all, it's really late at night and they might take my silence for tiredness and ring me up without a word.

I ultimately decide to just go and get my beloved takis.

The traffic isn't too bad due to the time of night, and I make it to a gas station store in just a couple of minutes. I get out of my car and quickly make my way into the store, looking around for creepers as I go.

I make it inside the store and take a deep sigh of relief. Being a feminine Deaf person walking around at night in LA, all alone, I am basically begging to get kidnapped, or worse.

I make my way through the isles and lay my eyes on a beautiful purple bag of chips, with two identical ones sitting next to it. I do a little pump with my fist and go to grab all three, knowing I'll want some more later.

Before I do, I feel a tap on my shoulder. Jumping a little bit, I fearfully turn around and am immediately met with a beautiful girl. Her face is so close to mine, and her eyes are such a beautiful blue. The only issue I have with this position is the fact that she's talking to me.

She seems angry too.

She finishes her thought, and stands up straight, crossing her arms over her chest. She seems to be waiting for me to reply, but I have no idea what she said.

I have a little bit of practice reading lips, but for the most part, I just use American Sign Language (ASL). I wasn't even focused on her lips when she was talking, I was focused on her eyes.

She starts talking again and I zero in on her lips this time.

They look so nice and soft. They are this adorable blush pink color, and they bounce a little when she makes a 'P' sound.

I realize she just said 'please'.

Shit. I would rather not use my voice right now, and I am too tired for this.

I continue to lazily focus on her lips and she speaks again.

'why..loo...my....lip..' is all I can make out.

She must have said, "Why are you looking at my lips?"

She smirks and I let out a huff.

This girl is really gonna force me to talk.

I clear my throat and speak up, "I am reading them." I use my best effort to use the correct sounds in my sentence so she can understand.

When I say that, her face immediately softens and she looks at me apologetically.

She is really pretty if I didn't already mention.

She looks up over my head in thought and then hesitantly moves her hand to her chest, signing 'sorry' with a questioning look on her face. It wasn't exactly right, but I got the idea.

My heart melts at the action and I smile. I bring my hands up to show her how to sign it properly. I take her right hand and close her fingers, moving her thumb to the side and bringing it to her chest, palm side in. I move it in a circle, nodding to show her that this is correct.

Usually, I would just sign it back correctly to someone who was incorrect, but I really wanted to hold her hand so I took the opportunity.

She nods in understanding and pulls out her phone, opening it to the contacts.

This bitch is really trying to get my number.

She smiles cockily and hands me her phone.

I just roll my eyes and take it, giggling in flattery.

I type, 'Amanda 🦁' in as the contact and insert my number.

The lion is significant because it signifies my name sign. My brother, Benji, gave me my name sign. It is like a mix between the sign for lion and the sign for girl. You can sign it by putting your hand in a claw handshape and moving it down your cheek.

It was the day before I came out to my parents as non-binary, and my brother and I were reading about queer news on our phones.

He is bi and I am a non-binary lesbian. I use she/they pronouns.

I came across an article about these lionesses in Botswana that grew manes and acted like males.

After I showed Benji the article, he signed, "hey, that's like you!" 

I chuckled a little at the memory as I typed the emoji.

I hand it back and she grins at her phone and then looks back up at me, pointing to the takis that I was about to buy. I furrow my eyebrows. I want those.

She takes all of them unexpectedly and I whine.

She just puts her finger to my lips softly and walks to the register. I watch her intently as she buys them and hands me two, keeping one for herself.

We step out of the store and she points to my car across the parking lot with a questioning look. I nod, informing her that it is, in fact, my car and she takes my hand, walking me to it. Before we go our separate ways, I sign 'thank you', hoping she may know that one as well.

She cocks an eyebrow for a moment, and does the gesture herself. A look of realization takes over her features as she recalls the sign.

I think it is so cute watching hearing people try to sign. I usually wouldn't date one but his girl, she seems different.

I realize I don't know her name and I take out my phone, typing in the notes app, "What is your name?" and passing it to her.

She carefully takes the device and types something before handing it back to me.

Billie.

"Rad." I say, touching her arm slightly.

Rad is my favorite word because it was one of the easiest for me to learn to pronounce, and my brother used to use it a lot when signing. I use it for almost everything now.

She smiles and brings me in for a hug. Butterflies erupt in my stomach as her arms wrap around me. I return the gesture, wrapping my arms around her torso. I am surprised at how small she actually is, hidden underneath those baggy clothes.

We pull away and Billie opens my door for me, waving 'goodbye' as she gets in her own car. I wave as well and put the car in reverse, heading home.

a/n:

Disclaimer! I am not Deaf or HH, but I have learned a little bit about sign language and Deaf Culture in my ASL class (taught by a Deaf teacher).

If I am incorrect about anything please tell me! I would love to fix it and make this book as accurate as possible, thank you!

I would love your input on this story so I know what you would want to see (especially my Deaf/HH folks)

Enjoy!