Patience//BILLIE EILISH

six

I walk over and sit facing her, peering down at the words on the page, "look who's blushing now."

I turn a deeper red at her words and look up, smiling tiredly, this whole day having been a rollercoaster.

She smiles back and writes something else, "I should get going home, but I had a really good time with you."

"Me too," I vocalize.

Billie brings me in for one last hug and I never want her to let go. Before we reluctantly part, I leave a soft kiss on her neck, feeling goosebumps rise.

I lead her to the door and make sure she's gathered all of her things before she leaves. I wave goodbye, but before she turns away, she leaves a quick kiss on my cheek and smiles.

The area tingles as I smile back and she turns to leave, making her way down the hall before turning a corner and I can no longer see her anymore.

When I turn back to face forward, I see someone in the doorway of their apartment. They notice me and send a small wave my way.

I smile, waving back, and we each step back into our apartments. I suppose that was a good start to meeting more people.

.

Throughout the next couple of days, Billie and I texted here and there, talking about our days and things like that. She asked me out again, to which I said yes, and she is coming over in a few minutes to pick me up.

We are going to a local fair and I'm so excited. I haven't been to a fair since I was a kid!

I make my way around my apartment, grabbing my keys, notebook, phone, and other necessities before Billie gets here, so I'm ready to leave. Right as I sling my bag over my shoulder, I get a text.

"get out here, baby."

I jump a little in excitement and go open the door to see Billie.

She looks at me for a moment, seeing I already have my things together, "Ready?" she signs.

I smile and nod, seeing she learned more signs. I walk out the door, turning around to lock it, and feel Billie's hand rest on the small of my back, leading me down the hall.

We walk together to her car, and get in. Billie chooses the music this time, and I immediately feel the sick beat. I make a 'stank face', nodding my head to the beat and Billie taps my shoulder.

I look over and see her sign, "You like?"

I smile and sign, "Yes!" enthusiastically.

A smile crawls up her face as she turns to look out the windshield, starting up the car. We drive south on the freeway for a while and I begin to wonder how far we are going.

When we hit some traffic, I tap her shoulder and sign, "Where?" trying to keep my sentences simple, since she's just learning ASL.

She thinks for a second, probably wracking her brain for the right signs, then signs, "can't sign, sorry," then holds up her finger, signaling for me to wait and she takes out her phone, still looking out at the road.

She glances down at it for a short moment to navigate to notes and talks into her phone as she drives. It takes down her words for her, and she hands it over to me to read, "The Del Mar fair is the best one around. We are only about half way there, but it's worth it."

"Okay. I'm excited!" I vocalize, not wanting her to look away from the road any more than she has to.

She smiles and places her right hand on my thigh, sending butterflies through my body.

The rest of the long drive is nice, and the music is even better. I can't help but move with it, and every time I do, Billie's hand on my thigh moves as well, rubbing from my inner thigh to my outer thigh along with the beat of the songs.

As we enter the parking lot, Billie removes her right hand from it's resting place and turns down the radio, making me realize that people can actually hear stuff at different volumes, and looks around extra carefully, not wanting to hit any children.

It's interesting the different ways people live, and the different things they think about on the daily. Like, I never knew you could hear people laugh until I was like 10, and got made fun of at school.

After that incident and many others, my parents realized it would be best for me to go to a school particularly for Deaf kids, and I think that was one of the best decisions they ever made. One of the worst being to kick me out of my childhood home.

I asked my brother to come with me when I left, knowing he would in no way feel safe coming out to them. I said he could live with me and we could figure it out together, but he refused. He said he couldn't manage in a hearing world without our parents. He was afraid.

"Don't you think I'm afraid too?" I sign, looking into Benji's eyes with my last bit of hope, "Don't you want to live with me, and be yourself? We can figure this out. Together."

He just shakes his head, a tear slipping out of his left eye, "I can't. I'm sorry."

I left that day, and never saw him since. He hasn't reached out even though he has my number, and, based on the terms we left on, I refuse to be the first. It was his choice to not come with me, not my choice to leave.

Billie shakes my shoulder, jolting me out of my thoughts and gives me a sympathetic smile. She takes the journal from my lap, "Everything okay up there?" She gestures to my head.

I take the book back and smile, "Yeah, I'm ready to beat your ass at ring toss!"

She laughs and opens her door, coming around the front to escort me out of the car and into the fair.

As we walk in, I am met with a sea of colors and bright lights. Some games are flashing from wins, or stuffed animals are swaying in the wind as they dangle from the roof of the tents. There are many tables with handmade items for sale, and bustling food stands, selling everything deep-fried and bacon-wrapped.

I crinkle my nose at the greasy smell as we walk through the food area and so does Billie. I am pretty sure we won't be eating here with my sensitive stomach and her vegan ass.

I notice Billie pull her hoodie over her head, hiding her green roots I adore so much and tuck her head down a little bit. She looks like she's gonna steal shit or something.

We approach ring toss and Billie turns to me with a smirk, elbowing me in my arm playfully before pulling us to the colorful tent.

a/n:

Hey, I'm glad you're here!

this book left the top three then came back? Lol we're number 3 in #billieeilish y'all are real ones for voting

Have a good day <3