Hold On (I Still Need You)

THAT Chapter

Hey everyone, I disappeared because of some mental health stuff. I don't really have the motivation to keep going with this, so here's the last chapter I wrote. It takes place about two months after the previous chapter.

I'm sorry.

Chuuya awoke to find himself cold. He turned to find Osamu, to curl up against him, but there was nobody there. He reached over and felt the sheets. They were cool as well, but his hand brushed against a piece of paper.

    He struggled to sit upright, and unfolded the torn page of a notebook. It was uneven and the handwriting was rushed. Chuuya blinked and attempted to read the note.

    His stomach dropped at the first line.

    Chuuya, I'm sorry.

    I knew, I told you from the start, you're too good for me. I shouldn't have done this. It was a mistake, to hurt you. I was greedy though, and I'm so grateful for these months. To be able to hold you, and kiss you, and have you by my side.

    I love you.

    I love you more than anything, more than life itself. Please, be happy, Chuuya. Live for me, ok?

    Don't miss me. I'm not worth it.

    Yours,

    Osamu Dazai

    No. Is the first thought that passes through his brain. He clutches the paper, staring at the words, trying to make them make sense. He promised he wouldn't leave. Not again. He promised he would stay, yet he was gone.

    No.

    There was the smallest chance, and Chuuya wouldn't be able to live without following it. His heart raced when he noticed the small note scribbled against the bottom of the page. Three words that changed the entire thing.

    Darling Street Bridge.

    It was a few miles from his apartment. A few miles that if Dazai walked meant there was the small chance he wasn't gone yet. That small chance had Chuuya grabbing his key and running out the door without stopping. He went out the door, and jumped down the fire escape before the world became conscious of him.

    He wasn't going to lose anyone else.

    He was on his bike before, and tearing down the street when it started setting in. Dazai had lied, he'd left him again. The bastard had left him again.

    His hands stung and his eyes teared up, but there were a few miles separating him from that bridge and Chuuya wasn't ready to give up on that chance. That small thread of hope.

    He heard a siren, knew he was speeding, but didn't care. Nothing seemed real, this couldn't be real.

    The sky was so bright, the sun shone happily. Clouds and summer breezes. It was all too happy. The sound of waves was too nice. It all began to get under his skin. He wasn't sure when tears began streaming down his face, when his breathing became choked sobs. Yet the bridge came into view and he was jumping off his motorcycle as it collapsed, and sprinting.

    It was a train bridge. The tracks rattled slightly as he climbed upwards. Chuuya couldn't hear anything. He barely felt the sway from the wind.

    He froze when he saw the discarded bag. Chuuya's head jolted straight upwards, and his entire body seemed to seize.

    "Dazai," He tried to call out, but a weak, choked whisper came out.

    The man's head turned though. His brown hair was blown out of the way, so that Chuuya could see his eyes widen in surprise. For a moment it seemed safe. Chuuya'd gotten there in time. They'd leave, it'd be alright.