Ch 4

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"Shouldn't have given up the shield." Bucky said, walking over to Sam.

"Good to see you too Buck." Sam glanced back to the super soldier.

"This is wrong." Bucky said, following after Sam.

"Hey, hey, look, I'm working, all right?" Sam replied, "So all of this outrage is gonna have to wait."

"You didn't know that was gonna happen?"

"No, of course I didn't know that was gonna happen." Sam said, "You think it didn't break my heart to see them march him out there and call him the new Captain America?"

"This isn't what Steve wanted."

"Oh my God. So what do you want me to do?" Sam asked, "Call America and tell 'em I changed my mind? Huh?"

Bucky didn't reply.

Sam chuckled and patted Bucky on the back, "Yeah, right. Well, it's a great reunion, buddy, be well."

Bucky didn't give up there, not that Sam had expected him to. Their little argument didn't escalate too much but it some how ended with Bucky following Sam on his mission. Sam honestly wasn't too upset by this, he figured that it might actually be better to have Bucky help out.

The flag smashers were stronger than they'd thought. Even with Walker and Hoskins crashing the fight, they'd had their asses handed to them. Now they were walking up the riding towards the airport with Walker and Hoskins, wondering what the hell had just happened.

It wasn't long before Bucky called for the car to stop. He'd had enough of Walker. Sam followed shortly after and quickly caught up to Bucky. The super soldier didn't say anything. Sam recognized the look on Bucky's face. He hadn't noticed it earlier, but Bucky definitely wanted or need to be little.

Sam gives Bucky's shoulder a small squeeze, "You doing okay, Kiddo?"

"I'm fine, Sam." Bucky mumbled, shoving Sam's hand away.

"Look, I know it's none of my business but when was the last time you regressed?" Sam asked, "I think it'll do you a little good right now."

"I'm fine Sam, I don't need to regress." Bucky said.

"Bucky, it's okay if you need to regress. You know that, right? It's okay to need to be taken care of. There's no shame in it." Sam tired to explain, "And if you don't want me to help, then fine, but it helps you and you know it."

"Don't... I don't need to be taken care of." Bucky mumbled.

"All right." Sam sighed, "If you ever do need to regress, I still want to be there. It helped me too, I like being able to take care of you, believe it or not, as insufferable as you are."

The longer they walked the more Bucky could feel it pushing at him. His brain wanted to regress, but he couldn't let that happen. There was too much going on, it was too open. He couldn't regress. Not now.

Sam soon noticed tears forming in Bucky's eyes. Bucky's breathing became uneven and he clutched the sides of his head. Something was seriously wrong. A panic attack maybe?

"Whoa, whoa. Bucky, hey, man. It's okay." Sam said, trying to pry Bucky's hands away from his head, "Just breath."

"Stop! Stop! I don't need help!" Bucky yelled, pushing away from Sam.

Bucky fell onto his bottom and curled up into a tight ball, shaking violently. Sam continued to whisper small words of reassurance to Bucky. The super soldier soon calmed enough to stop the shaking. He silently tucked his thumb into his mouth, desperate for some kind of comfort.

"It's okay, Bucky. It's all gonna be okay, buddy. Can you look at me, please? Can you do that for me?" Sam asked.

Bucky looked up at Sam, his cheeks were tear stained, his eyes wide, and his thumb still tucked into his mouth. Sam's words had successfully coaxed him into his little space, with he wasn't exactly happy about, but it was better than the muddy area between headspaces. Sam just smiled.

"Good job, Buck. I'm so proud of you." Sam praised, wiping a few tears from Bucky's cheeks.

"Proud?" Bucky sniffled.

Sam kissed Bucky's forehead, "Very proud."

Sam sat down next to Bucky, giving the soldier a little longer to get himself composed. Bucky had a lot to process, they both did, but it would take Bucky a little extra time in his regressed state.

Sam stood up, brushing some dirt and grass off of himself. He turned back to find Bucky still sitting on the ground, staring up at him.

"Come on Wolf Pup, let's get goin'." Sam said, motioning for Bucky to follow him.

"H-hand?" Bucky asked quietly, holding his hand out shyly.

Sam took Bucky's hand and pulled him to his feet, "All right, let's go kiddo!"

Sam swung Bucky's hand and the boy giggled at Sam's actions. It was the first bit of real joy he'd seen from Bucky all day. Sam couldn't help but feel proud at that. Damn, he'd missed Bucky and it was nice to have a little break, a distraction from everything that was going on.

With everything that had happened, Sam didn't expect Bucky to be little for very long. By the time they were back on the jet, Bucky was big again. He'd dropped Sam's hand long before and refused to say a word about what had happened.

Sam tried to sleep, but it was useless. Bucky didn't even bother putting in the effort. He sat awake, thinking about what had happened. They were super soldiers. All of them.

Sam hadn't taken it well when they had met Isaiah. He and Bucky ended up arguing in the street. The police had shown up, and apparently Bucky had missed his therapy session. Now Sam and Bucky sat in a rather uncomfortable therapy session together.

Bucky and Sam just could not see eye to eye. Bucky still couldn't see why Sam had given up the shield. He couldn't see how Sam could do that when Steve had trusted him, when he'd believed in him.

"You know what Doc, I don't have time for this. We have some real serious shit going on." Sam said, "So how about this, I will squash it right now. We go deal with that and when we're done, we both can go on separate long vacations. And never see each other again.

Bucky continued to glare at Sam, "I like that."

"Great. Well, let's go to work. Thanks Doc for makin' it weird. I feel much better. I'll see you outside." Sam smacked Bucky on the arm and left.

'Never see each other again'. Sam wasn't entirely sure that he really wanted that, but Bucky seemed to like the idea. Maybe it really was what they both needed.

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⏰ Last updated: Jul 03, 2021 ⏰

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