It didn't go as I planned...

How it actually went...

I started shaking. I was shocked. It felt as if my body was shouting out of fear. I never wanted Harry to take any of that. Little did I know I was to end up doing that myself. I didn't know how great it would make me feel. It felt great seeing the world just the way I wanted to see it. To see the world from a new and much greater perspective. Not that I didn't try stopping him or myself, but we somehow still ended up in that new little world of ours. We were laughing, talking about every possible object in this world, and enjoying ourselves to the fullest.

  All we wanted was to feel free and party. Suddenly we heard a sound. The sound of footsteps, of someone taking little, scared steps on the dry leaves of the forest which has waited for rain quite long. I could feel the fear of that person through its steps as if they were scared of the dark. We got quiet, and then a girl appeared in front of us who came from the right side of the forest. Her big and blue eyes were shining in the dark, her hands were shaking, and then her bag fell. I couldn't stop myself from staring at those beautiful eyes, which I thought were talking to me with their innocence. 

  Harry, on the other hand, was planning something harsh in his filthy mind. He came up with an idea of how we were going to enjoy the rest of our evening. He ran towards the girl and took her in his arms. She was terrified. She was tensed, but she didn't say a word. That made me wonder why she didn't speak up and what in the world was she doing there in the first place. I sometimes still wonder about this. Harry pushed her down and started undressing her. It was about time she understood what danger she was in and started shouting for help. All I did was watch and ended up finishing what Harry had started. We stole that girl's innocence and gave her something to cry over her whole life. It was all under the impact of the drugs we took. 

    We ran home as soon as we got done with our dirty work. We left that poor girl there to shout in her pain in that deep dark forest. Harry didn't feel like it was a big deal. He acted as nothing happened, and our evening went just how we planneed it. But I couldn't close my eyes for even a minute. Every time I tried sleeping or forgetting what has happened, that innocent face would appear in front of me and ask me questions like what her fault was. She cried because of me, because of something I did. All I could think of was prison, that I have no future and my life has ended. Oppositely, Harry was relaxed and tried calming me down by saying, "no one saw us or heard anything. She got no proof". However, I knew that it can never heal me or make me forget anything from that evening.

   Few months passed, Harry and I never talked about it. I had changed myself. I got silent, and almost never smiled again. Mom, friends and everybody around me always asked and wondered what happend to a cheerful boy who always used to smile, yet no one ever found out. After sometime I actually started believing in Harry's words. Maybe it wasn't a big deal after all and months had passed, nothing happened. After a while I became who I was. I started talking again, smiling again and living my life how I used to. Everybody around me got happy by seeing that change.

  There life was, normal as it should be. We started getting a lot of homeworks and presentations. Being a senior at high school is not easy after all. We were preparing for a podcast one day at my house and someone rang the bell. We smiled, or actually that was our hungry stomachs which had waited for the pizza guy long. They take an eternity to make pizza and deliever it. I went down and opened the door. What I saw on the door was more than enough to make me full. I was not hungry anymore. 

   There was that unknown girl from the forest with the police. There were still tears in those blue eyes of hers. The eyes which woud remind you of the ocean, and the sky. The fear and rage in those eyes talked to me. They asked, "how could I possibly think that I can live normal again when I am a culprit? When I caused those tears, what made me think karma won't bring it back to me?" The screams, her screams found their way back to my ears and shouted what her fault was. I couldn't move my legs, and then I disappeared mentally from this cruel world. But one thought remained in my head, I wish I hadn't listen to Harry that day.