60 Ways to Say Goodbye - A Johnlock Fanfiction

Chapter Nine

I'm really excited to write the next chapter. I hope you guys will love reading it as much as I will love writing. I just want to see your reactions! So be sure to comment your thought on that when we get there.

As for this chapter...not my best work, but here it is.

~BB

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 9

Another two weeks had come and gone. Another two weeks of me bringing flowers to Sherlock. Another two weeks of me secretly waiting for him to talk back to me. Another two weeks of Goddamned silence and tears on my part. I couldn't do it. I just wanted to die and join him, wherever he was. I would go to hell to be with him.

Nothing had happened in those weeks. People in the street occasionally stopped me an said things like, "I knew it. I knew Sherlock wasn't a fake."

I usually responded with a friendly nod. What do you say to that? What do you say to any damn thing anymore? Yeah great, he's a genius. It doesn't matter anymore! He's gone...

It was my birthday today. What a day to want to die. 

I was having a small get together with Molly, Greg, and Mrs. Hudson later.

But right now, I just wanted to be with Sherlock. I wanted him to sit in his chair and play his violin. I wanted to feel him hug me for the first time. But all I could have right now was his tombstone.

I made sure Mrs. Hudson didn't need anything before I left the flat. We didn't need a repeat of the last time I left without telling her.

It was colder than usual today. It was snowing, so visions of the roads were blurred. I almost got hit by a car while crossing the street. Maybe it wasn't exactly a smart idea to come out in this weather, but...Sherlock. I couldn't go a day without talking to him. When I went now, I could see him sitting in front of me. I could picture him responding, but I knew it was all in m head.

But I made it to Sherlock's cemetery safely. Annalise was there as always. I rushed over to the flower stand with my hands in my pockets.

"What are you doing here? This is practically a blizzard!" I exclaimed.

"I could ask you the same thing," she said back. She spoke short and contritely. "Do you want your flower?"

"Yes," I smiled, fishing in my pocket for money.

Only I couldn't find any money. I searched everywhere I could keep spare change, but there was nothing there.

"Oh, I'm sorry, no flower today, Annalise," I apologized. "I've got no money."

Annalise stayed quiet for a moment before saying,"Take it anyway, John."

"I couldn't possibly-," I started.

"Please. I'm sure Sherlock would like it," she interrupted me.

We had never talked about Sherlock before. I don't even think that I had mentioned the fact that he was who I came to see every day.

"You knew it was him I came to see all along..." I said, "and you never said anything or asked me about him."

"I figured if you wanted to talk about him, you would," she shrugged.

"Thank you. You're the only person that's left me alone about him," I said, chuckling sadly.

"No problem," she replied, "I know how you feel, remember?"

"Right your boyfriend," I said quietly.

"Seamus O'Dair," she told me, "He was an Irish lad."

"Did you love him?" I asked.