DLMLU ~ Hiatus ~

Strained Emotion

"So what if you kissed me?" Minho heard Jisung speak with a sense of bravery. He let his gaze follow Jisungs eyes that almost seemed to widened at his words that left his lips. in shock at his words, his face becoming pink.

"Wait- kiss..." Minho cut him off, before he tried backing away from bis previous statement. He let himself fall victim to the midnight blues antics. They froze. bringing his hands to pull Jisung in even closer to him. He could feel the younger almost falling apart under him holding him tightly with every fibre in his own body. Almost immediatley melting into the kiss. A scorching fire had set off in the olders body. Every movement of Jisungs fingers that roamed around his neck gently grazing atop of the skin that left a burning desire for more..

His heart ramming against his chest, his brows furrowed trying to stay consumed in the feeling. Jisung didnt seem to be letting up anytime soon.

But in the pit of Minhos stomach it churned. A feeling of desperation to hold onto the warmth was slowly fading from him.

Pulling away to see Jisungs glossy half lidded eyes. Minho gasped lightly. Trying to contain the emotion he was feeling ripple through his body. Uncertianty.

His mind flashing with memories of words that hit him like a truck.

"Like I said... You're gonna regret teasing me Han Jisung. Its not wise. Cause I play fire with fire." Minho whispered pulling the younger in closer by the waist deepening the kiss further. He was so addicting. The fact the younger continued to chase the olders lips made him feel something. Something he hadn't felt in a long time. Something he knew he simply didn't deserve. Minho was unstable, not worthy of the feeling he set off.

Fuck... Why would I do that? It's not worth it Minho. Get your act together. You're not worth it.

"Look dear, these scars will never go away!" Minhos mother yelled out sinisterly while she sipped her alcohol and watched as his father whipped the belt against his spine. Little 10 year old Minho had his arms pressed against the wall to keep himself balanced as he bit harshly against his hand. He bit down so hard he drew blood from his own self inflicted pain. The crimson metalic taste filled his mouth holding in every ounce of pain.

Ugly...

Ungreatful...

"Min-" Jisung whispered softly. Minho broke away.

"Do you regret teasing me Han? I clearly can make you melt under me. Don't push your luck." He growled pulling away quickly leaving Jisungs not only breathless, but the intrusive thoughts began ruining a moment Minho didn't want to have end.

"Just cause I hate skinship doesn't mean I won't do stuff Jisung. Keep that in mind..." Minho coldy spoke. His walls being rebuild, fortified. Its not what he wanted to say. He continued walking towards the pond, as the memories continued invading.

"No one will come to love you." These words echoed through his mind. His father continued lashing out, each snap that hits his skin becoming more numb. Minho didn't know why he was ebing punished. Felix was home upstairs hiding. Minho was barely a minute late because the bus from school took too long... that had to be it.

"A child like you, doesn't deserve love. You and your brother ruined us. Minho you ruined us. Its your fault. Now these marks will be with you for the rest of your life. See these scars? No one will love you for them. You're worthless..."

"I'm sorry..." Minho shakily muttered out walking away from the bridge. His chest ached, his mind reliving the past. His nerves were shot as well so that was just perfect. He couldn't breathe after he had kissed Jisung. His lips were soft, delicate... His lips were addicting and that was only a small taste of them. Holding his chest tightly, as if it would help ground himself before he slipped into a space he didn't want to return to.