My Favorite Story: Someday Out of The Blue

CHAPTER 13: HEALING HANDS

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Someday Out Of the Blue

By LittleBuddhaTW

Special thanks to Kitty (PiscesRising) from GayAuthors.org for editing!

CHAPTER 13: HEALING HANDS

I was extremely thankful on Monday morning when Maggie came into my room and announced that I would be able to go home, or at least what would be my temporary home for the next week or so. I was most definitely not a fan of hospitals, as I'd had some bad experiences with them after being beaten by my mother. This time had definitely been the worst, though. I hoped that I would never have to go back to the hospital, and considering that my mother was now dead, which I still didn't feel any intense amount of grief over, it seemed likely that I wouldn't be in that position again. I felt a little silly being wheeled out to Ryan's car in a wheelchair, but apparently it was hospital policy. Ryan had taken the morning off from school to drive me home and get me settled in. He also informed me that he had worked out a schedule with all of our friends, where they would take turns taking half days off of school to look after me during the week, bring me my homework assignments, and hang out with me so I wouldn't be too bored. I thought that was really nice of them, and it would give me the chance to get to know some of them a little better. I wasn't an invalid or anything, but I was still in quite a lot of pain (when I wasn't drugged up, that is), so I had to lean on Ryan to get up the stairs and to his bedroom, where I would be staying. I was glad that Maggie had prescribed plenty of pain medication for me to take, and that's what I did as soon as I got into bed. Unfortunately, by the time Ryan got me home and all settled in, he had to go back to school for the afternoon. I might have been a little depressed about that, because I'd gotten used to having him next to me 24/7 over the past few days while I was in the hospital. But when he reminded me again that he loved me (woo-hoo! -- he really loved me!) and gave me a soft kiss on the forehead, that was enough to tide me over for a few hours. At least I wasn't going to be alone that afternoon, as Cody showed up right before Ryan had to leave. I was very pleased to see that they seemed to be getting along just fine after the whole "kissing thing." Ryan even gave him a hug and thanked him for coming over. Cody brought my homework assignments from Thursday and Friday that I had missed. It wasn't that much, since we'd just gotten back from our winter vacation, but I was pretty much wiped out from the pain medication, so I didn't feel like doing it then. Instead, I ended up taking a nap while Cody studied on the bed next to me, only waking up once to ask him to bring me a glass of water. I felt bad that I wasn't very good company for him, but he told me not to worry about it, so I didn't ... and went back to sleep. I was happy when Ryan and Toby got home from school that afternoon, and I managed to stay awake so I could chat with them for a while. All things considered, I had been in a pretty good mood since waking up in the hospital and finding Ryan there by my side. Perhaps most people wouldn't have been, and I did wonder why I wasn't shell-shocked or anything, considering what I had been through, but I tried not to dwell on it too much. The large amounts of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication that Maggie had been giving me may have had something to do with that, though. The only thing that I did worry about was where I would end up after I had healed. I didn't want to upset Ryan, though, so I decided not to mention it until the time came, which Maggie had said would probably be on Friday or Saturday when the social worker showed up to discuss my case with me. I was pretty sure that Ryan would come visit me as often as possible, although if the foster family was religious or anything, and realized that he was my boyfriend, I was worried that they might not let him see me. Plus, I'd never really had any restrictions placed on me before. I'd always come and gone as I pleased when I was living with my mother, and it would be hard to have to actually accept being "parented." When Maggie got home that evening, it was time for me to get a check-up, which turned out not to be a very pleasant experience, since I hadn't taken my next dose of pain medication yet. She poked and prodded me, and I winced every time she touched my ribs. She said that the bruises on my face were already starting to heal, though, and that the swelling on my nose had gone down considerably. She also said that they had done a good job setting my nose, and although it might be slightly crooked, that would be hardly noticeable. Not that I was overly concerned about my face, though, since I never thought it was particularly nice-looking to begin with. But that was still pretty good news. The worst part of the examination was when she had to check my ass, and then apply two different kinds of ointment -- one was an antibiotic to prevent infection, and the other was a kind of salve to soothe the pain. Once she had thoroughly examined the inside of my ass, which was embarrassing enough with Ryan standing right there watching, she was at least kind enough to ask if I would be more comfortable with Ryan applying the ointment for me. Even though he was my boyfriend, for some reason I was more embarrassed to have him perform that task than Maggie. At least with Maggie, I could tell myself that she was a doctor. Also, I had no idea how my ass really looked, and I was scared that it would gross Ryan out. Needless to say, it wasn't a positive experience to have a cotton swab stuck up my butt, but after she applied the salve, at least it felt a little better. Unfortunately, this process would have to be repeated twice a day (Maggie said the salve could be applied more often if I thought I needed it), and I wasn't particularly looking forward to it. Having now had a foreign objected inserted into my most private of orifices, I had thought the awkward part of the examination was over. Unfortunately, I was wrong. "Connor," Maggie started, "I think that it would be a good idea for you to go see a counselor once you're feeling better to talk about what happened to you." I was a little offended by that. I wasn't crazy, I'd just gotten beaten up and raped. I hadn't exactly been raped before, but I'd been beaten up plenty of times, and I thought I was fine. Hell, I was feeling happier now than I had in a long time. Plus, Maggie had prescribed the anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication. Wasn't that enough to keep me from losing it? "I don't need to see a shrink," I muttered indignantly. "I think my mom's right," Ryan jumped in. I just scowled at him. "I'm not crazy," I protested. "I feel fine. I'm not going to have a breakdown or anything. I'm used to getting beaten up." "I know, Connor," Maggie said gently, "and that's part of the reason you need to talk with someone. Not just about this most recent incident, but about everything you've had to go through." "Why can't I just talk to you about it?" I asked. "Because I'm a pediatrician, not a trained psychiatrist," she replied. "You may think you can handle all of this, but you're really just repressing it, trying to convince yourself that everything's okay. But one day when you're least expecting it, it's going to start affecting your life, and you may not be able to regain control. If you start to deal with everything that's happened to you now instead of later, you'll be in a much better position to cope with it." "Do I even have a choice?" I asked, with the scowl still firmly imprinted on my face. "Well, I'm going to recommend to your social worker that you see someone, so I guess you really don't have a choice. But I promise you that you will have a choice when choosing a therapist. It's important to find one that you like and feel comfortable talking with." "Okay, fine," I agreed. I wasn't happy about it, but at the same time, deep down inside, I knew that Maggie was probably right. I hadn't let her help me before, and I saw the results of that bright decision. Maybe it was time to start trusting her more. Trust -- that was a hard thing for me to do. The highlight of the evening was when Ryan helped me take a bath. I was still a bit unsteady on my feet, so I wasn't quite ready for a shower yet, although the idea of being in the shower together with Ryan was certainly tempting, and a good reason to try to get better quickly. He did, however, put me in the tub and wash me, spending a little extra time making sure certain areas were especially clean. Of course, that got a reaction out of me, and I realized that it had been a while since I'd gotten off last. "You want me to take care of that for you, babe?" Ryan asked, giving me a devilish smile and wiggling his eyebrows. "Please!" I practically begged. "Your wish is my command," he said, as he took hold of my hard-on and started stroking me gently. My ass hurt a bit when I came, but it was definitely worth it. As I lay cuddled up in Ryan's arms that night, listening to the gentle, rhythmic sound of his breathing, feeling his warm skin pressed up against me, I realized that he was the best medicine for healing my wounds, both inside and out.