My Favorite Story: Someday Out of The Blue

CHAPTER 14: ALL THAT I'M ALLOWED (I'M THANKFUL)

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Someday Out Of the Blue

By LittleBuddhaTW

Special thanks to Kitty (PiscesRising) from GayAuthors.org for editing!

CHAPTER 14: ALL THAT I'M ALLOWED (I'M THANKFUL)

"So, how's your recovery coming along, Connor?" Dwayne asked. "Pretty good, I think. I'm still a little sore, though," I replied. I wasn't really in the mood for the small talk. I felt like the defendant in a murder trial, and just wanted to be read the verdict. "Well, I'm sure you don't want to beat around the bush, and I don't want to keep you all too late. So let's get right down to it," he said, opening up one of the file folders in front of him. I figured that was probably the information on the new family I was going to be living with. I was really hoping they would be nice and wouldn't live too far away. I knew I couldn't stay with Ryan anymore, but I'd at least hoped that maybe I would be able to go to the same school. If I was shipped off somewhere else, then even though Ryan had a car, it would still be difficult to see each other as much as I would want. And being young and still relatively new at this whole relationship thing, I knew that that could certainly put a strain on things between us. "Now, I see from your file that you've been visited by social workers before," Dwayne continued. "I'm sorry that they didn't do more to get you out of that situation, Connor. It shouldn't have come to this. If your case had been handled directly by me back then, I would have definitely tried to do more for you." "It's okay, Mr. Jacks ... errr ... Dwayne. It's all over now. I just wanna find out what's gonna happen to me next." I'd been freaking out about this for over a week now. Why couldn't he just get it over with? I'm dying here! "Connor, I'm not sure if you realize it or not," he continued, "but getting kids placed in good foster homes isn't an easy task. The system is so over-crowded right now, and there aren't enough certified foster homes to take all of the kids we've got. And we've only had a week to work on your case. It's almost impossible to get someone placed right away, and most kids have to stay in one of our group homes for a while." "You're not sending him to some group home!" Ryan interjected angrily. I'd rarely seen him get angry like that, although it made me feel good that he was trying to stick up for me. "Ryan!" Maggie scolded him. "I told you to sit there and keep quiet. If you can't, then you and Toby can both go upstairs until we're finished." Ryan just rolled his eyes, huffed angrily, and slouched back into his seat. "He should just stay here with us. This is where he belongs anyway," he muttered, though loud enough for everyone to hear. "Yeah, I don't see why we can't just take him in. He's been staying with us all the time for months now anyway," Toby agreed. "He's finally happy now, and shuffling him around isn't gonna help him any. Plus, we all love him. He's not going to get that at some orphanage or group home." "Tobias McCormack! Just hear Dwayne out before you go getting all angry," Maggie said. Toby looked like he wanted to argue, but Maggie silenced him with her glare. It was heart-warming that they were both sticking up for me like that, and I was especially moved that they both wanted me to stay with them, even if I knew that wasn't possible or realistic. I'd learned long ago that dreams like that didn't come true, at least not for me. "Well, it looks like your friends wanna keep you," Dwayne said with a chuckle. "Would you like that, son?" Huh? Was he seriously asking me if I wanted to stay here?! He had to be joking. Even though I was pretty sure he was just kidding around, part of me wanted to scream out, "Yes! Yes! Yes! Please let me stay here!" But I couldn't do it. I wasn't sure if it was pride, my low self-esteem, or what. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. "I don't think so, sir," I mumbled, looking down at the ground.. "I don't want to be a burden anymore. I'm ready to go whenever you want to take me." "Mom!" Ryan pleaded. "Say something to him! Please!" He sounded as desperate as I had that night I begged him not to break up with me, and it made my heart skip a few beats. But I didn't want this to turn into a family argument. "It's okay, Ryan. I'll be fine ... really," I said quietly, still looking down at the floor. I couldn't look any of them in the eyes. I knew I would just break down crying. Then Maggie walked over and knelt down in front of me, placing her hand on my knee, and with her other hand, lifted my chin up to look her in the eyes. "Connor, you wouldn't be a burden. We all want you to stay with us. I didn't want to say anything to you before because I wasn't sure if it was going to work out with Social Services or not. If you want to stay here with us, you're more than welcome to. But that's up to Dwayne," she said, looking over at the large man, who was now wearing a knowing grin on his face. Considering how my entire fate was resting on this one decision, it was kind of unnerving (and irritating) that he was friggin' grinning! "I discussed this with Maggie back at the hospital, Connor," he began. "She really wanted you to stay with them, and although I thought it would be a great idea and was willing to give her tentative approval, I still had to check some things out, talk with my supervisor, and then come and meet you in person. I asked Maggie not to say anything until I got everything situated and finally had a chance to meet with you. I didn't want to get your hopes up just in case something didn't work out. But if you'd like to stay here, it's fine with us." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. This kind of thing didn't happen in real life ... at least not to me. It didn't make any sense. I knew enough about how things with Social Services worked, and you had to have a foster care license, go through background checks, and all that kind of stuff. It wasn't like you could just say you would take in a kid and that was that. Plus, Maggie was a single mother with two boys. I didn't think it would be feasible, or that she could even qualify. "But how?" I asked, not believing what I was hearing. "Well, it's complicated, Connor," Dwayne explained. "But basically, I was able to pull a few strings since I've known Maggie for a long time, and I trust her judgment, as a doctor and a parent. It'll still take a while for all of the official paperwork and stuff to go through, but I've signed another temporary placement order for now so you can stay here. I don't know how long the paperwork will take to get settled, but I don't foresee any serious problems. You've been staying here for a while already, so as long as Maggie and the boys, and most importantly, you, are willing to do it, then I'm willing to go along with it." "So that's it?" I asked, feeling quite shocked. This hadn't gone like I'd expected at all. Actually, that would be the understatement of the century. There had to be a catch, though. There always was. "No, that's not it," Dwayne replied. "I'm gonna keep a close eye on things and make sure everything's going smoothly, and that you're adjusting to living here. It's obviously not ideal to be in a single-parent family, but since Ryan and Toby have both turned out so well, I'm willing to take that chance. If you keep your grades up at school, don't show any serious behavioral problems, and you go to counseling like we've suggested, then things should be fine when the time comes for the final approval of the foster care arrangement. The only thing I need to know from you is if this is what you want. If not, we'll have to place you in a group home on a temporary basis until we can find another suitable foster home." I glanced around the room and noticed everyone looking at me expectantly ... well, Ryan's look was more of the pleading kind. How could I refuse that? And it's not like this wasn't what I had dreamed about. I would have to be the dumbest kid on the face of the earth not to agree to this. But then again, I'd been known to make some pretty dumb decisions in the past. But not this time. Hell no! "Yes, I want to stay here," I said confidently, looking everyone in the eye to let them know I was certain about my choice. "Well, then that's that," Dwayne said, picking up his files off the table and standing up. "I'll be checking in from time to time to see how things are going, and I'll be expecting reports from your school and therapist. But as of right now, this is where you'll be living." I couldn't contain myself any longer, and despite my still tender ribs, I jumped up and gave huge hugs to Maggie, Ryan, and Toby. I almost planted big, wet kisses on both Ryan's and Toby's mouths, but managed to restrain myself. I was sure that wouldn't look too good in front of Dwayne. "Thank you so much," I beamed. "I don't wanna keep you guys, so I'll show myself out," Dwayne said, patting me on the shoulder before walking out toward the hallway. As I stood there grinning like an idiot, not sure what to do with myself, Maggie turned back to look at me after saying goodbye to Dwayne. "There are still a lot of things we have to talk about and go over, honey. But that can wait until later," she said. "For now, I just want you to know that you're part of the family now, and I want you to feel comfortable. We do want you here." That was definitely good, because I wanted to be there, too. But there was one little thing that suddenly popped into my mind, and I was wondering if it would make a difference as to whether or not I could really stay. As soon as I heard the front door open and close, making sure Dwayne was gone, I turned back to Maggie. "Ummm ... Maggie ... does ... uhhh ... does Dwayne know that Ryan and I are ... uhhh ... together?" I asked nervously. Maggie chuckled. "No, he doesn't. And I think we'll keep it that way for now. It's really none of his business, or the state's, but that reminds me of something I wanted to show you anyway." With that, Maggie led the three of us upstairs. I was a little surprised when we stopped in front of the guest room, and even more surprised when Maggie opened the door and turned on the light. Everything that had been in there before, mostly boxes full of Maggie's files, some filing cabinets, a sofa bed, and some other random stuff, was all gone. Instead, there was a brand new twin bed with a comfy-looking duvet, a nightstand, dresser, desk, and a bookshelf. There were also new blue and maroon colored curtains to match the colors on the bedding. It wasn't anything really fancy, but it was still nice. There were also a few new outfits laid out on the bed, which I could only assume were meant for me, and even a poster of the Detroit Lions' former star running back, Barry Sanders, on the wall. That's what made me realize that this was all meant for me. The Detroit Lions were my favorite team! I was stunned. But what really caught my eye was an old Wurlitzer electric piano sitting in the corner of the room by the window. And it looked to be in nearly mint condition. Most young people probably would have no idea what a Wurlitzer electric piano was, or why they were so totally cool. Well, basically, it's a 64-key electric piano (whereas a standard piano has 88 keys). It was first made popular during the late 1950s by Ray Charles, and was frequently used by many bands because of its portability and unique sound. Unlike an acoustic piano, or even the Fender Rhodes electric piano, the Wurlitzer has an extremely unique sound, which can be sweet, kind of like a vibraphone, but becomes more aggressive-sounding when played harder. While the Fender Rhodes tends to blend in with other instruments, the Wurlitzer sticks out more. During the 1960s and 1970s, it was frequently used as the "stage piano" for many famous rock bands, including Three Dog Night, Joni Mitchell, Marvin Gaye, The Carpenters, Pink Floyd, and Queen. Unfortunately, the company ended production in the early 1980s. Wurlitzer electric pianos were no match for the modern digital piano brands, like Yamaha, Kurzweil, or Roland, when it came to producing a variety of different sounds and effects. But because of its place in rock and roll history, and its unique sound, it was still a classic. They were also pretty rare nowadays, not to mention very expensive, so I had no clue how Maggie had managed to get one. But I'd always dreamed of playing one, and because of its smaller size, it would make an excellent practice piano. And if this was mine to use, I could play anytime I wanted to! "Maggie, do you have any idea what this is? Where did you get it?" I asked excitedly. "My dad, Ryan's and Toby's grandfather, used to play piano, and he played in a small band a long time ago. After he died, we put a lot of stuff into storage, not wanting to throw it away. I'd forgotten that we even had this until about a week or so ago," she said. I explained to her all about Wurlitzer pianos, and although I was talking a mile a minute, she obviously got the gist of what I was babbling about, because she looked a little surprised at how valuable it was. She'd just thought it was an old piece of junk that I might be able to get a little use out of. "So all of this is for me?" I asked, still not completely able to wrap my mind around the whole idea. "Yes, it is, Connor. This is your room, and all of this is your stuff," she replied with a smile. "How did you do all of this without any of us noticing?" Ryan asked. "You guys were at that sweat lodge thing all day today. I didn't really have to work, so I got busy on getting things ready for Connor's room," she explained. "I didn't really find out for sure until tonight when Dwayne came over, but I thought I'd do it anyway. I really wish I could have told you sooner, Connor. I'm sure this has been a hard week for you, and maybe it wasn't a good idea to keep this from you. But I was afraid that if something didn't end up working out, then it might make you even more upset. It was a really difficult thing to do." She had a sad smile on her face and tears in her eyes as she was saying that, and it was making me emotional, too. I could understand why she wasn't able to say something before, because knowing myself, I would have been utterly devastated if I'd gotten my hopes up about living with them, and then suddenly found out that it wasn't going to happen. And it wasn't like I had come out and told her that that's what I wanted. I had done my best to keep it to myself. But now wasn't the time to start regretting anything, because I got what I really wanted! I liked the idea of having my own room, with a real bed and furniture, rather than the cramped closet-sized space I used to call a "bedroom" in my mom's trailer, where I only had an old, hard mattress to sleep on. I was definitely grateful to Maggie for all the trouble (and cost) that she must have gone through to do this for me, but at the same time, I was wondering if this meant that I wasn't allowed to sleep with Ryan anymore. I didn't say anything, though, because I didn't want Maggie to think that the only thing I cared about was sleeping with her son, but she must have noticed the troubled look on my face. Either that, or she was a mind-reader. "Connor," she said, "you can still stay with Ryan whenever you like. I just wanted you to have your own space where you can be by yourself if you need to. And it will also make things look more ... errr ... proper ... for when the social worker stops by," she said with a conspiratorial grin. I just nodded and smiled. That was enough for me. I'd get my own room, I could still sleep with my boyfriend, and I now had my own electric piano to play whenever I wanted. What more could I possibly ask for? "But what did you do with all the other stuff that was in here, Ma?" Toby asked. "Oh, I had the movers take that all down to the basement. I've been thinking of having it finished off anyway. I think we'll fix up part of it, and make another section into a storage room or something. We can make a little rec room down there for you boys, too." Toby and Ryan both got very excited looks on their faces, and I was glad that they were going to get something out of this whole thing, too. I still wasn't sure what Maggie would end up getting out of it, except for another mouth to feed and an emotional, stubborn, and occasionally neurotic teenager -- namely, me. "I ... uhhh ... I really don't know what to say," I stuttered. "Thank you so much." I felt like an ungrateful idiot for not being able to come up with something a little more meaningful or poetic other than "thank you." I guess I was just a bit too overwhelmed by everything. I felt like I was dreaming. "So, are you gonna play something for us, Connor?" Maggie asked, motioning toward the electric piano. "I've never heard you play anything before, and I'm sure you're aching to try out your new toy." "Yeah, I'd love to," I replied. I walked over and sat down at the small piano bench that was positioned in front of the Wurlitzer, and thought for a moment about what I should play. And then something occurred to me. "Back when I first met Ryan, he asked me to play something for him. Something that said how I felt, what was going on in my mind. I told him that I couldn't, because sometimes a song can reveal too much. And I wasn't ready for him to see what was really inside of me then," I said, looking directly at Ryan, who appeared a little teary-eyed. "But now I'm ready, and I want all of you to know how I'm feeling. I don't know how good this song will sound on this kind of piano, but I'll give it a shot anyway." And with that, I began to play the opening chords of the Meat Loaf song "Heaven Can Wait," a beautiful, soul-stirring ballad from his classic Bat Out of Hell album. I played its moving melody and sang out the impassioned lyrics as powerfully as I could. This wasn't a big show where I had to be at my best, just a little impromptu performance for my friends ... or should I say my family? But to me, it felt like it was one of the most important performances of my life, because I was expressing my love for Ryan, and for all of them.