My Favorite Story: Someday Out of The Blue

CHAPTER 10: STEP INTO CHRISTMAS

CHAPTER 10: STEP INTO CHRISTMAS

"Try to keep the tempo driving," I instructed Cody, who was playing rhythm guitar, right before going into the opening verse of the song we were currently working on. Cody grinned at me and nodded in reply, immediately picking up the tempo. It was the first Sunday afternoon of our Christmas vacation. The day before, Mr. Bill had called me at Ryan's -- I had given him the number earlier, telling him he could reach me there on the weekends -- and told me that if I performed a show on New Year's Eve at the club, he'd not only give me the rest of the winter vacation off, but he'd also pay me a hundred and fifty dollars for a sixty minute set with the house band. I thought that was a pretty good deal. We would have three afternoon rehearsals before the show, and I would get Cody to practice with me as well. I gave Mr. Bill the set list I had come up with, and that was it. So on Sunday at around noontime, Ryan dropped me off at Cody's so we could start practicing, and go over some of the songs I was going to play with the band. Playing with Cody was a lot of fun, and he was a quick learner. I thought that sometime it would be fun to perform in public with just him, an acoustic guitar and piano. I even fantasized a bit about going on a pub tour with him when we were older. I'd always thought that life on the road would be fun, driving from place to place in an old van, crammed full of amplifiers and other equipment, staying in run-down motels, and playing the great oldies to a group of new faces every night. It certainly wasn't a way to make a good living, but it was the kind of life that would make me content. Or at least so I thought. If that meant being away from Ryan, though, assuming our relationship lasted that long, I didn't think I could handle it. Besides the music, I was also enjoying Cody's company more and more. I felt very relaxed around him, and since he seemed to be able to figure me out so well, I didn't see the sense in trying so hard to hide myself from him. But at the same time, he never pressed me for many details about my life. When we finished running through Bruce Springsteen's "Thunder Road," we decided to take a break. No sooner had we sat down on the futon in Cody's room, than his mom came walking down the stairs with a tray, on which was arranged an authentic Japanese tea set -- a beautiful ceramic tea pot with four small tea cups arranged neatly around it. That in itself wasn't odd, but the fact that she was wearing only a long, flower patterned skirt (with no top!) was. Plus she had painted what looked like Japanese calligraphy on her (fortunately not too large) breasts, making me do a double take. It didn't seem to faze Cody at all, though. Weird family! I thought. "Thanks, mom," he said. "Cody," she said in a very serious tone, "I told you already that my new name is 'Coral.' We mustn't forget the damage that is being done to the coral reefs in Australia." "Sorry, Coral," he said with a slightly patronizing smile. After nodding and giving Cody a measured look, she turned and headed back upstairs. I think I was too stunned to even comment on what had just happened. But I had already known that his mom was "different," so I just shrugged it off. As Cody poured the tea, I asked him what the Japanese characters on the tea cups meant. "This one," he said, pointing to the cup that he was currently pointing tea into, "means 'forbearance'." I just nodded, not really sure if I knew what "forbearance" meant. "The others," he continued, pointing to the other three cups in turn, "mean 'peace,' 'love,' and 'filial piety.' They are all important virtues." "What does 'filial piety' mean?" I asked, feeling a little stupid. "It means respect and reverence for your parents," he explained. "What if your parent treats you like shit and would prefer it if you were just dead?" I muttered, not really meaning to say that out loud. "Well, in the Chinese Book of Rites, Confucius said that filial piety is a two-way street. The parents have the responsibility to respect their children and carry out their duties as parents. Only then are the children obligated to be filial to their parents," he said. "Confucius said?" I asked, chuckling. "You sound like a fortune cookie." Cody just shrugged and blushed slightly. Feeling like I might have insulted him, I decided to quickly change the subject. "So what are you doing for Christmas this year?" I asked him. "We don't celebrate Christmas," he replied matter-of-factly. "You don't celebrate Christmas?!" I asked incredulously. Being so excited about celebrating Christmas this year, I couldn't imagine him not doing so, and not even seeming to care. I knew he wasn't Jewish or Muslim or anything, so I didn't get it. I wasn't a religious person. I wasn't even sure if I believed in God. But I still wanted to celebrate the holiday, not because of its religious connotations, but because it meant sharing a special time of the year with people I cared about. I figured that kind of thing was pretty universal. "Nope. My mom's against the whole commercialization of religious holidays thing," he answered. "It's just like any other day around here." "Won't that get boring, just sitting around here for two weeks?" "Nah, I have lots of books to read and I'll play my guitar and stuff. I've also been slacking off on my meditation." I raised an eyebrow at him. "What?" he asked, looking slightly perplexed. "I dunno ... I just know I'm really excited about Christmas this year. I haven't had a real Christmas since my grandmother died. I just think it's weird that you don't seem to care," I said. "It's not that I don't care. It's just the way things are," he explained, shrugging his shoulders. "Well, do you think you'd at least like to hang out with me, Ryan, and Ryan's brother during the break?" I asked. "Sure, that'd be cool. I just don't wanna impose or anything," he said. I chuckled to myself. "You sound a lot like me." Cody just gave me a toothy grin in reply. "Do you wanna come over today and maybe spend the night?" I asked. "Yeah, I guess so ... if it's alright," he replied. "I bet you'd really like Ryan's younger brother, Toby. He's really sweet ... and cute," I said, trying to imitate one of Ryan's patented winks. Cody giggled. "What makes you think I care if he's cute?" I shrugged my shoulders. "I dunno. Just a hunch, I guess." Cody rolled his eyes. "Well, let me go call Ryan and make sure it's alright," I said, walking over to pick up the portable phone that was sitting on the floor next to Cody's bed. I dialed Ryan's number, and he picked up on the third ring. "Hello?" "Hey, Ry, it's me." "Hey, Connor. You ready for me to go pick you up?" he asked. "Well, I was wondering if it'd be okay if Cody came back with us and stayed the night tonight. You know, we talked about there being someone he should meet ..." Ryan chuckled. "Yeah, that'd be good. I'll come pick you guys up at around three o'clock. Cody can have dinner here with us. Mom's working late tonight at the hospital, so we'll probably just order take-out or something." "Cool beans," I said. "We'll see you then." "Bye, babe." "Bye, Ry." Everything was set, and I was really hoping it would work out. I at least wanted Cody and Toby to get along and be friends. If anything else happened, that would be great too, but I figured I shouldn't press my luck. I still felt a little jealous about Toby being 'together' with someone, but I knew that was selfish of me, and I didn't think someone as great as him should be single. I wanted him to be happy, just as much as I wanted Ryan to be happy. And I knew that Cody was a really good guy. "Okay, it's all set, Cody. Why don't you get your stuff together? Ryan will be here at around three to pick us up," I said. "Okey-dokey," he replied, bounding up the stairs to go get his things together. As we were sitting on the floor in the living room waiting for Ryan, Cody inched closer to me. He was wearing a pair of tattered jeans, his usual tie-dyed t-shirt, and Native American charm necklace. The light coming through the window from the bright afternoon sun reflected off his light blond hair, making him appear as though he was shrouded in a halo. He was stunningly beautiful. "Another kiss?" he asked, his wry grin belying his cherubic face. I blushed and nodded my head, not giving it a single thought, suddenly wanting nothing more than to taste this beautiful yet mysterious boy's lips again. With that, Cody gently cupped the back of my head with his hand and leaned in, placing his soft lips against mine. This time, however, I felt his lips part and his tongue slip into my mouth. Rather than pulling back after this new development, as usual, my hormones got the best of me, and I kissed back, our tongues feverishly exploring the inside of each other's mouths. Cody was definitely a good kisser. After we separated, Cody gave me a cheeky grin, but I suddenly felt guilty again. I tried to rationalize it, though, telling myself that it was "just a kiss," as Cody himself had said before. Just an expression of affection between friends. And Ryan had said that he didn't mind, right? Promptly at three o'clock, Ryan pulled up in front of Cody's house, where Cody and I were waiting on the curb. Cody climbed in the back of the Camry with his overnight bag, and I got in the passenger side next to Ryan. After exchanging pleasantries, we were off. As we pulled up to the McCormacks' house, I was excited to show off my boyfriend's family to Cody. I was disappointed, however, that Cody didn't appear to be nearly as thrilled as I was. When we got in the door and had taken off our shoes as per Maggie's rule (Toby constantly got yelled at for forgetting and tracking dirt all over Maggie's clean floors), Ryan directed us upstairs to his room, where Toby was already sitting on the floor in front of the television playing a video game, dressed in his usual wife-beater and white briefs. Apparently, he didn't seem to think it was necessary to put more appropriate clothes on for meeting company. "Hey, Toby," I said, trying to get his attention. "This is my friend from jazz band at school, Cody." Toby just grunted in reply, without breaking his eyes away from the television screen. That certainly wasn't the response I was hoping for. I'd told him all about Cody, making sure to emphasize how cute he was, even mentioning that he was a good kisser. I didn't really know what I should say next. Fortunately, Ryan jumped in, as usual, to save the day. "Cody, why don't you play a game with Toby?" he suggested, gently nudging Cody forward. "Ummm ... I've never really played video games before," Cody mumbled. In stark contrast to the bright and cheerful Cody I'd come to know, this Cody seemed pensive and unsure of himself. I wasn't quite sure what was happening, but I didn't like it. Not one bit. "It's okay, Cody," I said, trying to reassure him. "I totally suck at video games, too. But Toby's a good teacher. It'll be fun." Still not looking away from his game, Toby tossed the other controller in the general direction of Cody. Ryan continued nudging him forward, and eventually Cody just shrugged his shoulders, sat down on the floor next to Toby, and picked up the controller. With a sigh that let us know that he was not thrilled with the idea, Toby reset the game for two players, and Ryan proceeded to give Cody brief instructions as to how to play the game. With that, Ryan said he was going downstairs to look through the various take-out menus they had to pick out something for dinner, and I plopped down on the bed to watch Toby and Cody go at it. Unfortunately, that's what they did ... and not with the video game. It was obvious that Cody really never had played before. Saying he totally sucked would have been putting it nicely. Instead of trying to help him, which I was hoping he would do, though, Toby began to mock Cody, and not in the friendly way that he did with me and Ryan. It sounded a lot more like the way the bullies at school picked on other kids. The names Toby was calling him, like "dork" and "loser," were ones that I had become all too familiar with (although "hippie boy" was a new one -- I hadn't heard that one before), and it upset me to hear Toby, who I had always known to be one of the sweetest people I'd ever met, treating Cody that way. To his credit, Cody continued playing, not reacting outwardly to Toby's non-stop insults and jabs, other than occasionally furrowing his eyebrows. I was not liking this at all. And especially not at Christmas time! This was not how my plan was supposed to work! They were supposed to get all giggly around each other, gradually inch closer together, "accidentally" brush up against each other, exchange shy grins, and then live happily ever after. Unfortunately, it wasn't happening, and I had no idea what to do about it. Eventually, I'd had enough. Being the wimp that I was, though, instead of trying to talk to Toby, I left the room to go find Ryan. When we came back, Toby's verbal abuse had turned more physical, his insults now coupled with smacks to the back of Cody's head and flicking his ear. Cody was visibly becoming more and more upset, and it was killing me to watch this scene playing out in front of my eyes. Apart, Toby and Cody were two of the most wonderful boys I'd met, but when put together, they were both like different people -- Toby had become a bully, and Cody became sullen and withdrawn. Ryan was obviously not pleased either, as he grabbed Toby by the scruff of the neck and dragged him out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Then I could hear the muffled sounds of arguing coming from the next room, although I couldn't make out the words. Cody just looked up at me with an expression of defeat. I was crushed. "I'm sorry," I muttered, unable to think of anything else I could say. It was hard to even look him in the eyes. If it was me in his position, I probably would have high-tailed it out of there, but he just sat there, looking kind of lost, the shimmer gone from his eyes. I nervously bit my nails, waiting for Ryan to return, hopefully having sorted things out with Toby, who by now I was totally pissed at. Finally breaking the awkward moment, Ryan came back into the room and asked me to go with him for a minute. I looked at Cody and attempted to give him a reassuring smile before going with Ryan to Toby's room, where I found Toby sitting on his bed, hugging his knees to his chest. From the expression on his face, I could tell that he was upset, although I wasn't sure if it was anger or sadness. "I'm sorry, Connor," he muttered, without looking up at me. "I think it's Cody you should be apologizing to," I snapped at him, surprising myself with the forcefulness of my own voice. "I'm not apologizing to him," he snapped back. "Well, you'd better, Toby, because you're gonna have to share your room with him tonight," Ryan jumped in, surprising me with his high-handedness. "He's spending the night, you know." "That's what we have the guest room for, idiot," Toby said, glaring at his brother. "Yeah, right," Ryan said sarcastically. "And with all of mom's junk in there, just how are we supposed to fold out the sofa bed?" This wasn't looking good, but I figured that since I was the one who brought Cody here, and I was the one who wanted them to get along so badly, then this was my responsibility. I turned to Ryan and said, "Ry, go play a game with Cody or something. I need a few minutes alone with Toby." Ryan nodded and walked out the door, closing it softly behind him. As soon as he was gone, I walked over to the bed and sat down next to Toby, putting my arm around him. To my surprise, as soon as I did, he melted right into me. "What's going on, Toby?" I asked gently, the anger I had been feeling before suddenly replaced with concern. "This really isn't like you. I don't even know what to say." "It's stupid," he mumbled. "What about that whole 'being friends' thing you lectured me about before? Aren't we supposed to tell each other what's bothering us?" I asked. "Fine," he said, letting out a deep sigh. "I thought that it would just be us during the break, and we'd get to spend a lot of time together. I guess I just got jealous. I don't want you fixing me up with anyone. I still like you. I don't want any other boyfriend right now." WHAT?! That certainly wasn't the response I was expecting, but then again, it did make sense. I just didn't understand why he would feel jealous of Cody ... and then I remembered the jealous feeling I myself had felt at the thought of Toby and Cody hooking up, and how I used to feel about Mikey. "Toby, you don't have to be boyfriends with him. I just want you to try to be friends. Cody doesn't have a lot of friends, and his mom is kinda weird. I just want him to know what it's like to have friends and hang out like normal kids do, the way you and Ryan have done with me. He really is a sweet guy," I said, hoping I could convince him. "All right," he said, although not sounding very enthusiastic. "I guess I should go apologize to him then." "Yeah, that would be a good idea," I said, giving him a gentle squeeze. "Will you hold me for a few minutes first?" he asked, looking up at me with his lost puppy dog expression. I smiled. "Sure, Toby. Whatever you want." With that, we lay down together on his bed and I spooned up behind him, wrapping my arms around him tightly. Just a couple of weeks ago, doing this with Toby would have certainly elicited a physical response from me, but surprisingly, it felt different this time. I felt like I wanted to protect him, make him feel safe. Maybe that's how Ryan felt about Toby. I'd never had a sibling before, so I wasn't sure. But at that moment, I knew that I loved Toby. After snuggling for a few more minutes, Toby and I got up and went back into Ryan's room, where we found Ryan patiently teaching Cody how to play Tekken 5 on the Playstation. And Cody actually looked like he was having fun ... until he noticed me and Toby standing in the doorway. Then his expression became unreadable as he looked up at us. "I'm sorry, Cody," Toby muttered. Cody just stared at him blankly, while Toby was fidgeting nervously. After a few awkward moments, Cody got up, walked over to Toby, and wrapped his arms around him. At first, Toby looked to be a bit taken aback, but soon returned the hug. It was very sweet. After that, things seemed relatively "normal." Ryan ordered Thai food for dinner (which I almost gagged on because it was too spicy), and then we all crowded onto Ryan's bed to watch DVDs. I snuggled up with Ryan, and was hoping that Toby and Cody would do the same. Unfortunately, they didn't, although they were lying very close together ... much closer than they needed to be if they didn't like each other at all. At around eleven-thirty, we all began taking turns in the shower (well, actually, Ryan and I showered together, since four people taking turns would have taken up too much time and hot water -- and no, there was no "funny business!"). When we were all finished, I was a little worried that there would be another problem regarding the sleeping arrangements, but without a word from either Ryan or myself, Toby took Cody by the arm and led him to his bedroom. Being nosey as we were, Ryan and I pressed our ears up against the wall to see if we could hear anything coming from Toby's room, but there were no sounds. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. Perhaps Cody was sleeping on the floor, although I hoped he wasn't. Even if they were going to be "just friends," I thought they could at least enjoy snuggling together. I knew from experience that it felt wonderful to snuggle with Toby. The next morning, after freeing myself from Ryan's grip and placing a soft kiss on his forehead, I made my way down to the kitchen to pour myself a cup of coffee. I was pleasantly surprised when I looked out through the sliding glass door and saw Cody teaching Toby how to do T'ai Chi in the backyard ... and they were both smiling and giggling the whole time. Mission accomplished? I could only hope. Later that afternoon, as Ryan drove Cody home, I took the opportunity to interrogate Toby about what had happened. "So what happened last night?" I asked bluntly, sitting down on the sofa next to Toby, where he was watching Oprah on TV. "You were right. He's nice," he replied vaguely, not moving his eyes from the television, and absentmindedly scratching his balls. "I mean ... did anything ... you know ...?" I continued prodding him. Finally he broke his eyes away from Oprah and looked at me with a sly grin. "Actually," he said, pausing for dramatic effect. "Not that it's really any of your business, but we talked for a while ... and that's about it." "No cuddling?" I asked, disappointment evident in my voice. Toby giggled. "Maybe, sort of ..." "Maybe, sort of?" I asked, arching an eyebrow as I continued staring at him. "He slept with his head on my shoulder and his hand on my chest. Is that specific enough for you, Mr. Nosey?" "Yeah, that'll do," I replied, grinning wryly at him. Because I was normally so shy with people, sometimes it surprised me how much like an entirely different person I felt when I was with Ryan and Toby. A little like the way I felt when I was up on stage. I could have conversations with them and not stutter, I could joke with them, and basically, just act like a "normal" teenage boy. Even I wasn't so dense that I couldn't notice that this was definitely a positive change. It had even rubbed off onto how I acted around other people -- well, just Cody, actually -- but it was a start. "So are you gonna see him again?" I asked. "If you invite him over again," Toby replied, his attention having turned back to Oprah, who was currently chewing out some weasely-looking guy with a terrible looking beard, saying something about how he had lied to a bunch of people about some book. I wasn't really sure what that was all about, but she seemed pissed, and he looked like a deer caught in headlights. "You mean you're not gonna call him or anything to hang out together?" I asked. "We'll see," he replied cryptically, the faintest of grins appearing on his face. I figured I wasn't going to get much more information out of him, so I decided to leave it at that.