Lovebird [completed]

Chapter 16: Dear Lovebird

---------------------- 1 week later ---------------------

I was standing in the middle of the aisle, wearing the same green dress I wore the night that he.... I tend not to think about that. Alex and Brooke along with my parents have spent nights constanily checking on me. I had no tears left to cry. And today was gonna be the day I had to keep my feelings to myself. His funeral.

Julie had arranged him a funeral in the central park of Eden. My mum, dad, Alex, Noah, Brooke and Nate were all gonna be there even some of our classmates but of course Brittany and her gang weren't invited. Julie had asked me to say a few words at the end of the service to say a few words and I agreed.

And I was now in my worst nightmare, people were staring at me as I held my sniffs and cries inside myself muttering to myself 'this will all be over in a bit don't cry, just hold it in a bit more' . Later on I would realise that it was the worst advice I could ever give to myself. I was holding a rose which I put on his brown cascet. I didn't pay attention to any of the service only concentrating on how I should not cry at all.

"Now Ana Harrington would like to say a few words about the late Lucas Walker" the priest said which made me come back to Earth as I slowly stood on the podium next to the cascet and stared down, wishing I could see his smile again.

"Hi. Some of you might know me as their friend or student or sister or daughter or just Ana, but I was also known as Walker's girlfriend. The first day I met him, I thought he was just an innocent boy too afraid to stand up for himself but as time went by and we kissed for a couple of times, I found out he was something more..... he was a person going through millions of traumas."

"If he was here now he'd probably be hiding behind a tree, praying that no one will talk to him and then, when I finish, he'll clap like never before. He was more than just my friend and later on my boyfriend. He was my soulmate. The Chandler to my Monica. The Archie to my Veronica. The Betty to my Jughead. The Romeo to my Juliet. The Jack to my Rose. He was my sanity. He was that part of me that I would never ever let go. And the only thing he cared about, even in his last breath was about my saftey and my care."

"I wish I could say he died a peaceful death. I don't know if he did as he would never express how he was feeling. All I know is that he is still watching me and loving me." I turned to the cascet as I said

"I love you Walker. I always have and I always will. You are my sanity, my savior, my hero. You are that part of me that will now and forever never let go. Goodbye, my love. Sleep tight" and from there a tear dropped landing on a rose near by and I burst into tears.

At that moment all the people seemed to fade. I couldn't hold more. Before I could run away, I could see, from a blur in my eye, Alex and Brooke, walking up to me and hugging me.

"Why did he have to leave me?" I asked them breathless from all the crying.

"He didn't. He's still here." Alex assured me, kissing me on my forehead

"Then why do I feel he that he's not?" I asked still crying.

"Because its hard to find the light when you're under all that pain. You'll feel it one day, I promise" Alex said now letting me go along with Brooke. And then reality hit me again and I went running to my house without thinking.

3 months later

My hair had now grown till my jawline, and its look always brought with it a painful memory.

It was September now, the day I would go to Eden University. Brooke had already gone to NYU (New York University) and my sister had gone a week ago to Italy to study along with Noah.

I was just checking that I had everything in my luggages: my clothes, my books, my board games, my laptop..... everything I needed. I looked around my room for the last time and it was empty. All the pictures of me, Alex and Brooke had been safely stored inside a special box along with those of me and Lucas.

And then my eyes caught the famous bedside table and Lucas' words echoed in my ears: "I will never leave you.  You have to promise me that when I'm gonna you look in the cupboard next to your bedside table."

I quickly sat on my bed an quickly opened the cupboard and there to my surprise I found a red sketchbook, a piece of yellow tape stuck in the middle and on it, with a black marker, written 'Lovebird'

I flipped through the pages one by one. Onv the first page was a girl, laughing at her phone only to find out, to my biggest shock, that it was me.

I flipped to the second page only to find me sleeping, the third, fourth, fifth, sixst and seventh pages where all of me doing different things: eating, laughing, walking and then the next pages brought  me to tears as I was lost in memory.

The next pages were filled with us kissing, our hands together, his locket on my neck, him kissing me on the neck, us sleeping together and as I dried my eyes from tears, I flipped to find a message written for me by him and it brings me to tears:

Dear Lovebird,
Really thank Alex and Noah for me as they helped me to pull it off
I may not be with you when you read this. I'm not sure how much I have left and I don't want to leave you. All I want you to know is that I love you so so much and you deserve more than just a sick, pathetic boyfriend.  I'm sorry I really am and I really wanna make it up to you. When I'm gone it's never gonna be a goodbye. It's gonna be a see you soon. Always. Cause you are now and forever, Lovebird, the only girl I will ever fall for so hard as I fell for you. That locket I would later on give you, is a reminder of our everlasting love. Our love story which its chapters are never finished. It's  not the end my love.... It's just the beginning
Walker