Defenceless

28. Something to Win (Flashback)

"Isn't that what we all do?"

Cal

"Do you still wanna talk to me after what happened with your brother, James?"

I knew she would bring this up eventually, it's been months of pretending we barely know each other so nobody started asking questions.

"I don't care what J.J. does or who he decides to sleep with" i interjected, understanding i was the one in a vulnerable position here. I wouldn't have come if it wasn't for the fact that this floating city is driving me insane. It's not usually my cup of tea not spending time with people my age. I miss my friends and my cousins... we used to hangout every day at work and went clubbing every weekend. Maggie is the closest thing I have right now, hopefully she won't throw me out. I desperately need a break from the DeWitts.

"You certainly did when you filled his head with those fake stories about me"

Two or three years ago my brother started dating Margaret Brown. I don't remember very well but I think they met in Colorado, both invested in a gold mine which turned out to be very very successful. I remember they were drunk both in money and in love, they wanted to get married as soon as possible... I mean, we didn't even know the girl's family, where she came from, who she had worked with, and the Hockley last name is something that must be treated with great care. I couldn't possibly let him marry a woman three years older than him, at nineteen and living in a love bubble only to get divorced a year after because it didn't work out or she got bored? So I told him she had cheated to see his reaction... I didn't really re-think the situation afterwards... was i really that bad?

"I just wanted what was best for him"

"But that's the thing Cal! You can't manipulate everyone! That's what's always gotten you into trouble"

"I don't know what you mean..."

"You want everything to be exactly the way you want it, if not, you do everything that's in your power to change it. Don't tell me you don't always get your way..."

"Well... no" I lowered my gaze, memories of my own failed relationship intruded my thoughts.

Everything was perfect, the wedding was being planned, I was happy, she was happy, our parents were happy... then i got a text from a friend, saying I should talk to Rose because she might be cheating on me. I've never had another girlfriend, how am I supposed to know how to deal with this situations? Now that I think about it... it was pretty normal, most of my friends had had another affairs apart of their relationships, maybe I shouldn't have made such a big deal about it...

But when I saw the pictures in Miami my heart was filled with nothing but jealousy. What did that street rat have that I didn't? Her laugh was something that was reserved for me, and now i had to share it? It wasn't fair. I spent years courting her and he stole her in a few days? I was worth so much more than that. How dare she?

Maggie must have caught the emotion because she sat down in front of me. Her body language indicating she was willing to listen and maybe understand me a little.

I've never been this open with anyone...

"That's why I came to talk to you... Rose... she... she doesn't want me anymore, I doubt she ever did... I'm so frustrated, I've tried everything to get to her and nothing!"

"You're just not meant for each other"

"But we are!"

"Cal. Everyone thinks they're meant for each other in the first months of a relationship. She didn't change, it's just that you are getting to know her better"

"She did change. After she met..."

"People don't change. You're just starting to know her better. Maybe she was always that way but hid certain parts about herself that I bet she didn't even knew she had"

"I know she's cheating on me! Look... there's this girl, Sabrina... she works on the marketing team... she has access to all of Rose's accounts and... well Sabrina has always been a good friend to me. She told me Rose texts Dawson almost every day... she wouldn't tell me the exact conversations but I'm not stupid. And i'm not sure I even care at this point, it's clear as water she doesn't want to be with me. I came to you because... I don't know what to do. My father is going to kill me if I call off the wedding."

"Are you really willing to sacrifice the rest of your life, spending every day with someone who doesn't love you... to please what other people think?"

"Isn't that what we all do?"

"You won't be happy, she won't be happy. I don't see your point, everyone loses"

"But our families would have..."

"Listen to what you're saying! Your families. They could have done it better. You two are your own different people, it's not on your shoulders to fix what your families broke. Those are their mistakes, not yours... Look. You don't want someone like Rose, you want someone submissive, and that's not good either Cal. She might have made mistakes but she's not the only one... how about we understand why she did it before judging her? Try a little empathy? Who knows? Maybe you could discover new things about yourself, things to work on, you know... to be a better person"

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I won't let you sacrifice either yours or Rose's..."

"No. Why are you telling me this? After what I did to you?"

"Well... I guess maybe you changed after that incident"

"People don't change"

"Then I guess I'm starting to know you better"

End of Flashback