the signs as comebacks/insults

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♈ Aries: Remember that time when I thought you were cool? I lied

♉ Taurus: You only annoy me when you're breathing, really

♊ Gemini: Do yourself a favor and ignore everyone who tells you to be yourself. Bad idea in your case

♋ Cancer: Everyone's entitled to act stupid once in a while, but you really abuse the privilege

♌ Leo: Sometimes it's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than open it and remove all doubt

♍ Virgo: Remember when I asked your opinion? Yeah, me neither

♎ Libra: I bet your parents don't even realize they're living proof that two wrongs don't make a right

♏ Scorpio: Sometimes I wonder what your life would have been like if you had been given enough oxygen at birth

♐ Sagittarius: Are you always such an idiot, or do you just show off when I'm around?

♑ Capricorn: There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Thank you for helping me understand that

♒ Aquarius: I could eat an entire bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than whatever you just said

♓ Pisces: Someday you'll go far. And I really hope you stay there

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