Her Fake Reality

You Know I Love You//Ch.4

TW: Alcohol usage, Suicide

Long day. It soon became dark outside and it was almost time for me to go on my date with Adam.  I was finally going to continue my investigation. I wanted to look nice. I baked my face and put on my false lashes. I put a nice gloss on my lips and a natural eye shadow. I packed my bag full with stuff for investigation and other stuff. I was on my way to his house.

As soon as I arrived there was lots of people. I was confused, I thought we would be alone, or at least I hoped.  He welcomed me at the door. "Hi! Hazel, glad you could make it. Forgot to mention it's a party!" Adam exclaimed. I could already tell he was going to be drunk. The loud music hurt my ears, but I might as well enjoy my first high school party. I didn't want to come home drunk so I asked Adam if I could spend the night and he agreed. I didn't want to drink, but I wasn't sure what was and wasn't alcohol. The party went on all night, surprised no neighbor came to complain.  

The party was over soon. I don't remember much. I was throwing up in the toilet. I was going to help Adam clean if I could ever stop throwing up. I felt sick to my stomach. I eventually stopped as I wiped my mouth with my arm and washed my hands. His couch was a pull-out bed, so I was going to stay there. We both agreed that after we got rest we would clean. He had to rest with me, because some couple was still hooking up in his room. He dimmed the lights and laid next to me.

We both stared at the ceiling and this was my best time to talk to him. "So, I remember you dated Gen..." I said to the point. "Yea, why?" He responded dully. "How was your relationship?" I asked, kind of jealous of her. "Well for starters, I'm sixteen and I wanted to marry her. She had a kind soft smile, she was beautiful, and actually listened to me.  She was so funny. I remember she always told me 'You know you love me' when we would fight. I just got angry and would say things like I hated her. Usually girls left me for my anger. She handled me and helped me through it. So when she died...I visited her grave and just reassured that I loved her. I would cry and say 'You know I love you.' I tried getting over her by drinking and eventually I numbed my pain. I met you and thought my pain would end. I was wrong. I'm sorry Hazel, but I don't think I will get over her soon enough for our relationship." Adam said. 

I looked over at him and tears ran down his face. He didn't look away from the ceiling. That stung. I actually liked him. "I'm so sorry...why would she kill herself?" I said very insensitive. "Actually...we where going to kill ourselves together." Adam said. He was being honest because of the alcohol. 

"Wait what?! Why?" I asked, starting to tear up myself. "I mean she was depressed, when her mom died she lost everything. I wanted her to be happy, so I was going to do it that day too. I even had a rope. No matter what I said, she was going to do it," He busted out crying , "I chickened out. I'm such a bad boyfriend. I wanted to be with her forever so bad that..I-" Adam stopped. "You don't have to explain yourself anymore. I'm so sorry," I cut him off. I never knew. I knew she didn't have a mom, but I didn't know it affected her that much. I never checked up on her. I never asked how she was doing. 

She always cared and asked how I was. "I'm glad you're not gone...If you need help, get it. There's so many people that care-" I said as he cut me off. "I know people care for me, but no one mattered to me but Gen. I wanted to be with her forever," Adam said with full tears. "I should probably continue cleaning..." Adam said as he wiped his tears and walked away. I got my backpack and got my suspect notebook. I just crossed out his name. I was wrong. She would kill herself. She did. No one murdered her, she just was depressed. Case closed. Was it partially my fault? I am a bad friend. If she just had more help... I laid down on my side and silently cried my self to sleep. I guess I numbed my pain too. I was always to busy for her and now she's gone. I was going to go visit and make it up to her.