Tales of the Wasteland

Honey Part 9

Miles is honestly breaking my heart. When he admitted that what we did was nothing my heart sank to my stomach. I was devastated. I watched him walk off to his room and i began to cry burrowing my head in my hands sobbing at the bar. Miles and Tyler soon enough walked out to go visit Sabina. They are so... hypnotized by her, everything is about her. Gosh i sound like a sulking child. I am feeling so much jealousy towards Miles affection towards Sabina. Even Tyler's affection towards her makes me jealousy. I am really sounding like a bitch now. I quietly sob.

"Whats wrong?" The old lady bartender asks washing a glass, her glasses are round and have a steel frame. She doesn't look older than sixty.
I wipe my eyes in embarrassment faking a smile "Oh" I wave my hand "It's nothing."
She tilts her head giving me a grin "Now" She smacks her lips together "I have experienced my fare share of broken hearts. Has it got to do with that cute boy you were talking to? The one with the black hair?"
"Yeah" I nod trying to hold back my waterworks. "It's just... I wanted more than a friendship and then we kissed and i thought it would go somewhere but his mind is so fixed on our friend. I mean yes she has been through a lot lately but the thing is my brother is also fixed about this girl." I shrug "I just feel like i'm not cared about."
The lady crosses her arms slowly wiggling her fingers deeply thinking into what i had just said to her. "Oh you poor thing." She finally says "The thing is your giving this boy mixed messages. I hope you didn't mind but i was paying attention to what you were saying to him and he is agreeing with you. He thinks he is pleasing you by doing so. You need to tell him how your truly feeling."

"I get what your saying but the thing is our friend almost got killed because we were fooling around instead of looking for her. I feel like i should be blamed for her getting so hurt."
"Look how ever your friend got hurt it was going to happen either way. Everything happens for a reason." She sounds reassuring.

I shake my head and lean onto the counter digging my nails into my head "Then why do i feel that when i tell him how i feel he will blame me?" I begin to ramble "I mean we didn't know her location until after we did it. What does that mean?" I feel like breaking out in tears.
"Stress less. You cannot be blamed for your friend getting hurt. It is whoever hurt her. It's there fault."

I don't get how i can tell Miles i have real feelings for him now. I tried to make it nothing but it was just too hard. These are to consequences i knew i would have had to face. Do i just walk up to him and tell him how i feel or do i hint it to him? Either way he will still be fixed on Sabina, Tyler too. What makes them so drawn to her? Even when she wasn't hurt they were fighting over her attention.

The bar had closed for the night and I was so tired but i wouldn't be able to sleep, i killed two people yesterday and Miles is constantly on my mind and then there is Sabina (Who seems to be on everyone's mind) For god sake am i being selfish? She is in the doctors clinic now with almost one-hundred cuts in her and i'm up here hating on her for being in the spotlight? I hate myself. Maybe i should just leave. That will make everyone happy. No one will even notice. 'Where is that chick with really red hair?' Yeah that's pretty much how it would be. Maybe i'll just go back to Westwide or go see mum and dad. Seeing that Tyler doesn't care that he is being hunted anymore because he is fixed on Sabina.

I sit in the hallway against Tyler and Miles door waiting for them to return. Will I actually tell Miles how I feel? Or am i just going to flip out at both of them? Oh please i hope to god i don't flip out at them or else i'm better off leaving and sparing myself the hatred.
I rest my arms on my knees and my head on my arms facing down the hallway to the stares just thinking about what i'm going to say to Miles. I love you? I have feelings for you? Hey Miles you know how i said it was nothing? yeah well it turns out i was lying. The door behind me opens and i fall back on my back with Hayden looking down at me.
"What are you doing?" He laughs, his pupils in his eyes are gigantic.
"Hayden are you feeling okay?" i wonder standing up.
"Peachy" He giggles.
"Your high aren't you?"
"What?" He scoffs in disbelief giggling afterwords.
"Your pathetic." Since i have been with Hayden outside of Westwide Tyler and Miles hatred for him has rubbed off on me.
"Aww don't be that way." He says playfully grabbing my hand and pulling me towards him. I'm furious. I push him off me but he pulls me back in. While he is doing so he is laughing and smiling dumbly while i am yelling at him. He tries to kiss me but i push his mouth and slap him making him infuriated . He pushes me into the wall out in the hallway pinning me against the wall shaking me. My head wound has started to bleed again. It's really hurting now.
I kick him in the stomach and then push him into the door frame. He seems weaker than what i would have thought he was. He drops to the floor and sits there as i kick, punch and slap him. He just takes the hits like he doesn't care. I'm hitting him so hard that he is bleeding. I really have the shakes up but it's not because i'm scared it's because i have so much adrenalin. The thought of getting my knife out comes into mind but beating him seems to do the job just fine.
I didn't even feel Tyler's grip around my arms as he pulled me away from Hayden trying to calm me down. I resist at first but then i get back into reality. Miles and Tyler are trying to calm me down wondering why the hell i did what i did.
"Because" I spit on Hayden "he is an arse."