No Holding Back

Ch 2

This time when Miranda woke up it was bright in her room and she was in bed by herself. She felt herself feeling anxious and heavy and she knew why but she wasn't ready to deal with it. She called out for her husband but didn't get an answer. She put on her robe and walked down the stairs noticing that her husband or sons were no where to be found.
She walked into the kitchen and noticed a note.
Good morning Miranda,
The boys and I went for our morning run. We will be back shortly.
Love you,
Ben
She sat on the couch in silence hoping that they would be back soon. As she sat and began to think about her mom and the fact that she hadn't seen or dad, she noticed that she was pulling on her fingers. She wished Ben was there to go through the routine he had started doing with her that helped to calm her anxiety and OCD. She knew that she needed to see her dad but she also didn't know how to face him. She hadn't been there to comfort him during the most critical moment that he needed her.
Miranda was pulled from her thoughts as she heard the front door opening. Miranda turned smile slightly but Ben but he could see right through it. The boys came in behind him and rushed over to Miranda with Tuck falling on top of her into her arms.
"Boys give mom some space and I'm pretty sure you stink from that run," Ben said seriously but chuckling at the same time.
"No Ben it's okay," Miranda held her son in her arms and was reminded of when he was just a little boy. And the weight of his body was actually helping to relieve some of the anxiousness she was feeling.
"Well how about after I take a shower I can make us all some breakfast," Ben suggested and everyone agreed.
Joey sat beside Miranda and laid his head on her shoulder. And Miranda kissed his forehead while Tuck got comfortable in her lap and turned on the tv. 15 minutes later Ben came back down stairs to find that they had fallen asleep. He quietly began making breakfast and when he was finished and went and rubbed both Tuck's and Joey's head to wake them up. And he kissed Miranda on the lips softly.
The trio awoke from their nap and the boys jumped up smelling the food while Ben pulled Miranda up off the couch and into his arms. He lifted her chin and took a moment to kiss her deeply. They walked to the kitchen and Miranda sat down while been fixed her plate. The boys talked and quickly ate their food.
"Alright guys, you know what to do. Wash the stink off of you and go get school done," Ben said.
The boys nodded and rushed upstairs. And Ben moved his chair closer to Miranda's so that he was able to touch her body. When he moved closer, Miranda leaned close so that their foreheads were touching. "I love you Miranda Bailey," Ben said in a whisper. She kissed his lips, "I love you too Ben Warren." They continued to eat their food and talk.
Ben, I want to go get my dad...ummm maybe he can stay here a few days. I'm not sure if he will be ready to go back to the senior living place because mom's things are there." Miranda felt herself choking up thinking about having to deal with her mom's things. Ben grabbed her hands and kissed her forehead.
"Maybe we can see about getting him switched to a different apartment, Ben said looking into her eyes.
They finished breakfast and went upstairs. Miranda got into the shower and once she was done she got dressed in some jeans and a black t-shirt with blue and black Nike sneakers. Ben and Miranda left the boys at home while they drove to the hotel to get her dad. When they arrived at the hotel Miranda nervously knocked on the door of her hotel. It was silent for a moment before her dad answered the door.
Miranda stood there not sure whether to smile, cry or hug her dad as she looked him in the face for the first time in 3 weeks. Her dad answered her question as he grabbed her shoulders looked at her with tears in his eyes and hugged her. Her OCD was telling her that she had broken so many social distancing rules in the last 24 hours. But the part of her that knows that both her dad and herself needed this contact, it would be just fine. Once they separated Miranda and Ben stepped into the hotel room, "Dad I...I want you to come stay with us for a little while and we can figure out what to do from there okay," Miranda stated. William nodded his head and Ben and Miranda began to help him pack and check out of the hotel.
When they arrived back at Ben and Miranda's home, Miranda walked with her dad to the guest room. William sat his things in the chair placed in the corner of the room and sat on the edge of the bed as he stared out the window. Miranda slowly walked over to where her dad rested and sat beside her dad and lead her head on his shoulder.
3 days had gone by and Ben was in the kitchen cooking while Miranda sat in her pajamas on the couch watching an old sci-fi movie. Her dad hadn't really come out of his room except to eat the small amounts of food he was willing to eat.
"Miranda have you went to check on your dad today? He hasn't come out of his room nor have I heard him move."
Miranda just continued to watch the movie, "Yes I did early this morning. He was still sleeping and two hours after that he was sitting up looking out of the window."
Ben sat for a moment looking at Miranda and thinking about her dad. "Do you think we should get William some counseling? Maybe we all should get counseling as a family? Ben suggested. Miranda nodded her head slightly and Ben scheduled an appointment with their therapist.
Later on that night when everyone was sleeping Ben awoke to sniffling sounds, Miranda was crying. Ben tried his best not to move so that he could hear what his wife was mumbling.
"If I hadn't moved them all the way across the country my mom wouldn't be dead. She would still be healthy and with the love of her life. And the love of her life wouldn't be in the other room mourning so hard."
Miranda began to cry more intensely and Ben could no longer just lay there and listen. He quickly sat up and took Miranda into his arms as tears began to fall from his own eyes. He hated that his wife was having to go through this, but having loss both of his parents he understood that it was going to take her and her dad some time to grieve. He held her and kissed her forehead until she fell back to sleep.
Miranda woke up laying on her husband's chest and wrapped in his arms. He was watching the tv with the sound off and his eyes were red and tired.
"Ben did you sleep at all for the rest of the night baby? Miranda asked.
"No not really Miranda," Ben said as he stroked the length of her waist and hip.
"Maybe you should try to get some sleep okay," Miranda suggested as she kissed the bottom of his chin.
Ben nodded as he slid down underneath the covers, wrapped his arm around Miranda's hips and quickly felt asleep. Miranda massaged his head and ears for awhile before getting up and showering. She put on on lounge clothes and decided to order some food off of door dash. She also ordered some items she knew her dad could say no to through instacart.
Once she ordered the food she knocked on the guest room door but no answer. She opened it slowly and saw her dad laying at the foot of the bed staring out of the window. She walked around to the other side of the bed and laid down beside him. She stared into the eyes that looked just like hers as he stared back.
"She is really gone Mandy...and I feel like I don't know how to feel, do or be without her," William said.
"I think it's just going to take some time, strength and courage to start feeling, doing and being without her daddy. But you don't have to do it right now because I don't either...but soon we have to start," Miranda replied.
Her dad smiled as he began to shed tears. "You sound wise just like your mother, she was always saying things that sounded profound."
They laid there until her doorbell rang, "I ordered some dessert items from fresh market that I know you would like she said getting off of the bed to go answer the door.
Her dad smile and sat up as he waited for her to come back. Miranda put both her door dash and instacart items on the kitchen counter, grabbed the bag full of desserts and headed back to her dad's room. Her dad's face lit up a little when she spread the items out on the bed and handed him a fork.
Later on that day after Miranda feed her sons and noticed her dad was seeming better she walked back to her bedroom. Ben was still sound asleep. She got in the bed and laid slightly across his back while placing kisses on his head, ear and neck.
"Hmmm Miranda," Ben said in a warning tone.
"You really must have been tired because you've slept most of the day," Miranda whispered into his ear.
Ben turned over while holding onto to Miranda,"I haven't been sleeping the best the past 3 months so this was the first time I actually rested well," he said pecking her lips. He grabbed a handful of her booty making her moan and she felt herself get wet instantly.
"Ben it's still too early the boys and my dad are still awake," Miranda whined. "Well as soon as everyone goes to bed, I'm making love to you Miranda Bailey," Ben said in a sexy tone as he squeezed her booty tighter and kissed her deeply.