The Bright Side

Chapter 5 - Part 1

TRISTAN

Sky and I just came back from East Coast, totally starved and Sky is preparing us some sandwiches in his kitchen. It's the first time I'm in his house and I immediately love it. It's an old cottage, a bit like Gran's but larger, with narrow wooden doors, squeaky floorboards and whitewashed walls. Sky smears different spreads on the bread slices and I'm allowed to top them with another one. He's tapping the handle of his knife on the kitchen surface so that it makes small impatient thuds, he huffs and puffs and it takes him a while before he seems to come to some sort of a conclusion.

"Tristan, what really happened with Carrie?"

"What do you mean?"

I take extra care with the slice before me and arrange it on the bottom until they're absolutely in line. I can't look at him now and my heartrate overtakes the frequency of his breadknife hitting the table. He puts the knife down and turns around to me, leaning his buttocks against the counter.

"How did you find out?"

"She told me."

"She like just came up and said 'Oi, Tristan, by the way, I shagged Matt'?"

"Yeah, kind of. You got any crisps?" I ask and carry the plate over to the table.

He turns around and pulls two bags from the top shelf and throws them over. He sits down across from me and takes a bite that makes half of his marmite sandwich disappear.

"I'm sorry, but I don't buy it", he munches. "She makes you wait for years and then finally lets you have it just to break up with you like ...what, days or weeks after?"

My heart is beating in my throat and I desperately try to swallow it down because it feels a lot like being on the verge of crying. I have so successfully pushed the memory aside and now it collapses over me like a flood wave.

"Minutes," I croak.

"What?"

The sound of seagulls outside directs my gaze through the window. Huge bushes block my view, but I can see them circle the sky in the small stripe of blue above them. I sometimes ask myself if maybe they were supposed to sing beautiful chorales, just like other birds, but were too sore from fighting all the time.

"But why? Why sleep with you and then tell you? She could've just kept it a secret."

"I don't know, ok?"

Sky's sandwich dangles in mid-air and he looks at it as if he expects it to say something like 'just kidding' anytime now.

"I have a theory, though," I say.

"Yeah?"

"I think she wanted to punish me."

"What would she have wanted to punish you for?"

"Urgh, how do I say this?" I pull bits from the crust and roll little dough balls from them before I stick them in my mouth. One after one, just to play out time.

"I think it was bad. Like really, really bad. For her." Another greasy dough ball disappears in my mouth. "We were at her house, that afternoon, before the Dark Slide, making out a bit and suddenly she jumped me. She basically ripped my clothes off. Wanting to wait? Poof, gone!"

"Doesn't sound that bad." Sky smirks.

"Oh, believe me, it was bad. I was totally taken by surprise. Totally unprepared. It sucked, alright? I sucked."

And I hadn't wanted it to happen like this. In the spur of the moment. Without planning. Without preparation.

"So, you couldn't get it up or what?"