The Bright Side

Chapter 14 - Part 1

TRISTAN

All the lights at Sky's house are out as I arrive. Of course, it's the dead of the night. I feel like a stalker, staring up to his window, hoping that somehow my presence will wake him and he'll look down to the street. But naturally everything stays dark. I can't make myself go away though. There's just one wall between us, hell, there's only one layer of glass between us. That's like no barrier at all. And I so much need to see him.

I consider throwing a little piece of gravel against the glass or break in through his window – like before - but then I'd actually have to explain what I'm doing here. And everything I can think of saying just sounds so cheesy. I consider walking away, too, but then I wouldn't see him again for God knows how long and I really want to get things straight between us before he leaves. I could come back in the morning and hope that I'll catch him before he leaves for Oxford. Postpone the awkwardness. I sit down on the curb with my back to the house and try to make up my mind. My arse is getting cold and the parts where my bones dig into the concrete go numb pretty soon. I'll have to sleep here if I don't come to a conclusion.

A distant and very quiet, monotonous sound of friction against the concrete, that grows louder steadily, disturbs the perfect quiet. I turn my head towards it and see a shadow disappear into the dark spot between two streetlamps. It takes two seconds and then it comes closer to the next circle of light again and my heart stops beating for a second. It's Sky on his board. He hasn't seen me yet and I feel like making a run for it, because if he sees me, I'll have to come out. I'll have to tether some words together that make sense and I don't have to be ashamed of saying.

"Tristan?"

My heart is trying to find a way out of my chest and it's dragging my stomach along with it. I feel like fainting and puking at the same time. And to be honest, I'm a bit elated, too, because the decision is made and my arse won't have to melt into the curb. I scramble onto my feet and turn towards him.

"Where have you been?" I ask, just to make sure that he can't ask me why I'm here.

"I was at the beach. I always go there the night before I leave to say goodbye. When I'm in Oxford, I miss it so much." He shoves his hands into his pockets. There is no sound other than my ragged breathing in the dead of the night.

"Why are you here?" Sky breathes into the dark.

And Bam! there it is.

"Sky, listen. I..." I breathe in deeply. "The reason..." I swallow and continue in a more serious tone. "Today..." I grind my teeth in frustration. "I came tonight..."

Ok, so far, so bad. Really bad. Sky just scrutinizes me, his face unmoving, his body still. I wish I could see inside his chest to check if his heart is beating as fast as mine.

"Urgh!" I moan and clench my fists. If I don't get it over with soon, I'm gonna need them to punch myself in the face. Real hard. "This is ridiculous." The whole situation is so awkward that it's hilarious. All my nervousness and all the adrenaline inside of me make me giddy.

"What is?" Sky asks.

"I...uh... I can't say it." I take my base cap off and turn it around in my hands before I put it back on again. I might get around it, too. The way my heart pumps unsteadily in my chest makes me very confident that I'll drop dead any second now.

"Can you show me?" He breathes the words into the night, as if he isn't sure of his voice.

He's still a statue, but now I can see that he's breathing fast. I take another deep breath and that one last step until I stand right before him. My hands shake, my whole arms shake as they hang loosely down my side. I place them on his chest for support and I feel the anxious flutter of his heart underneath my fingers. His lips part a bit and now his breath becomes visible in the cold air. It escapes his lungs in little, frequent clouds that accompany the falling of his chest. I slide my hand upwards, slowly creeping over the texture of his hoodie, noticing the colony of cotton balls on it that grows with every wash. His eyes lock mine, black as the night sky, and the decline of his face towards mine is almost unnoticeable.