Tamed

Chapter 38

After that night, hindi na talaga nag pa kita saakin si charles. I was afraid to ask khloee and others about him.

Umalis na ba talaga sya?

I don't even know what happend to him 5 years ago. I really thought he's a doctor now.

So what really happend? I felt like something is really wrong.

Letting go is incredibly difficult. No matter if we cling to worries about the future.

The truth is, unless I let go, unless I forgive myself, unless I realize that the situation is over, I cannot move forward. I will always long for that moment that we could have shared together.

Daddy said if I want to forget charles I should never hate him because everyone you hate is engraved upon your heart.

I dont even know what to do. I dont want him to let me go.

"Is anything on your mind? Nung isang araw kapa tulala"

Ngumiti ako ng pilit. "Kumain ka ng madami dahil may operation ka mamaya hindi ba?"

Sam smiled and wink. "I just need to see you smile para maka pag recharge ako"

I felt so guilty. Sam is here but my head is roaming around and thinking about someone. I dont want to hurt him.

Pakiramdam ko sobrang sama ng ugali ko.

How can you smile infront of him kendra?

"Corny"

Umalis na si kuya sam because of some emergency. As usual, he didn't have the chance to finish his meal.

While I was walking papunta sa hospital I saw a familiar figure.

"Is that mommy sahara?"

Binilisan ko ang pag lalakad ko, I dont know what push me sinundan ko si mommy sahara.

Is she okay? Anong ginagawa nya sa hospital? Is someone sick?

"Hey" sinalubong sya ni daddy zeus.

Nasa labas sila ng emergency room. Bigla nalang sumikip ang aking dibdib for no reason.

"Is he okay?" Sa tono ng pananalita ni mommy sahara I know something is wrong.

"He will be okay" pag aasure ni daddy zeus.

Who?

Mommy sahara is crying, what the hell is happening?

I take a deep breath bago maglakad papalapit pa sakanila but the door infront of them open.

The medical staff was pushing a table and the person lying there was

Charles

I felt like my heart suddenly stop beating.

I couldn't move.

"Oh my gosh" napatakip ako ng bibig.

"Anak!" Mommy sahara kept on crying and screaming.

And here I am, hindi ko maihakbang ang aking mga paa.

Anong nangyari?

Bakit naka hilata si charles sa hospital bed?

Hindi na ako naka sunod sakanila, bigla nalang nanlambot ang aking mga paa at ako'y tuluyan ng napa upo sa sahig.

"Take a deep breath kendra. Everything will be okay" I tried to calm myself pero hindi ko magawa.

"Hey hey, are you okay?" Cahlis help me to stand up and I dont know why

I start crying.

"Why are you crying?"

"I saw charles"

"Where?"

My lips is shaking.

"Emergency room"

"WHAT?" Gulat din na tanong nito.

"Hindi ko alam anong nang--" He cut me off and hold my wrist.

"Alam mo ba kung anong floor at room number sya naka stay?"

I convulse my head "damn let's go" hinatak nya ako papunta sa triage para itanong ang room number ni charles.

At first ayoko talagang sumama sakanya, ngunit ayaw nitong bitawan ang aking kamay.

Ayoko syang makita. What if something really happend to him? Hindi ko kakayanin.

Because I know after all this years I still care and love him.

Tanga na nga siguro ako.

Kahit anong iwas at pilit kong kalimutan sya hindi ko magawa.

"Tara?"

"Parang hindi ko kaya" hindi ko kayang humarap sakanila.

Hindi ako pinakinggan ni cahlis, kahit alam nya kung ano ang namamagitan saamin ng kuya nya ginagawa nya pa rin ito.

Hindi ko sya maintindihan, bakit pakiramdam ko may alam sya na nangyayari?

Pag pasok namin, napako ang tingin nila mommy sahara saakin. Hindi ko makita ang mukha ni charles dahil naka tayo si mommy sahara sa tabi nya.

"Kendra anak?"

When I hear the word "anak" my heart sink.

"Hello po" I smile and looked down.

"Kumusta na po si charles?" Nag titigan silang tatlo.

I saw cahlis nod his head.

"Let's talk outside" I take a glimpse of him. You're okay right? Everything if fine right Charles? So please wake up.

Umupo kami sa may upuan sa labas ng room ni Charles. Sobrang habang katahimikan ang bumalot saamin ni mommy sahara.

"How are you?" Yan ang unang tanong nya saakin.

Ngumiti ako at humarap sakanya kahit sobrang lakas ng kabog ng aking dibdib.

Can someone please enlightened me on what the hell is happening? I kept on making a scenario all over my head right now.
"Im fine po. How about you po? Is everything okay po? Is there something wrong about charles?"

I can't help but to call him mommy sahara.

She hold my hand and she take a deep breath.

"5 years ago charles was diagnosed with Acute Promyelocytic Leukemia"

Para akong nabingi sa aking narinig.

"We are so glad because we caught it as early as possible" she added.

"We decided to get him treated in US. I asked him to tell you everything about his condition but he refuse. He doesn't want you to worry and he wants you to finish your degree. Im so sorry for keeping this to you anak. I want to tell you everything right now. The whole truth."

I cried.

All those years, charles was fighting a battle that no one even knows. He's so selfish. He should have told me when he's having a hard time.

"I thought something happend to him today, but thanks God. Charles is okay" She take a deep breath and hold my hand.

Sobrang dami pang sinasabi ni mommy sahara ngunit kahit isa ay wala akong maintindihan dahil parang naka lutang sa ulap ang aking utak.

"The first thing that comes in his mind when he finish his treatment was to go home and see you. Charles loves you more than his own life. He was brave enough to let go everything and fight for his life, even it means letting you go"

"Im really really sorry if we lied to you but that's what he wants."

He was in pain but no one was there for him.

He must be lonely.

Charles

You're selfish.